Blues vs Mighty Waterfowl

By Brad Lee

So here’s my night Wednesday.

Rush home to get the baby ready for the babysitter, drive like mad to meet a buddy who has an extra ticket to the Anheuser Busch Cheep Beer Braggin Rights Game between Illinois and apparently Missouri Community College-Columbia. Buddy maddeningly late himself and we arrive about two minutes in, but miraculously the score is 0-0. We should have turned around and walked out right then. But NOOOO. I had to stay for another beating at Savvis Center.

Wearing yellow surrounded by a sea of orange, the night was one fast break, Missouri pass thrown into press row and bad fall-away jumper after another. Memo to Mike Alden, Mizzou athletic director: You should have fired this clown named Quin with about five minutes left in the game. Fix your mistake. If he coaches another game, it will be one too many.

The beautiful new campus arena is less than half full. The team couldn’t spell fundamentally sound much less play that way. In interviews, Quin is talking up his team by saying “Whoever is coaching this team next year, they’re going to have a good squad.” Doesn’t that say, “Hey, I deserve and expect to be fired. Please do it now.”

So then I walk in the house thinking this nice thought: “Hey, the Blues game just started. They played well Tuesday. I think they can beat Disneyworld on Ice. That will turn my night around.” Um, wrong. It was already 4-1 Quackers when I walked in the door. Spectacular.

This franchise has perpetually sucked on back-to-back game nights. Look it up. They can be at home, they can be on the road crossing the North American continent. They could fly from Glendale, Ariz. (sounds like it should be in an Eagles song) to Anaheim on a short flight, and no matter what, they will play like utter crap the second game. It’s a guarantee. Put money on it. Seriously, find a bookie and put $100 down. You’ll thank me.

I feel like the unwashed plunderer in the credit card TV commercials where the barbarians take real jobs because everyone is using the low interest card. At the end he says, “All we want for Christmas is our dignity.” How poignant.

The only bright spot was the Blues getting their dander up and getting the fisticuffs on when they realized they were outmanned and outclassed offensively. Loved to see Wideman throw down like he did. Jackman had a nice fight too. By the way, I think he started getting his mail delivered to the Anaheim penalty box by the end of the game. He spent enough time there.

I know rivalries have been chilled in the NHL with all the player movement this summer and the long layoff. I’m waiting for a team or two to step up and piss in the Blues’ Wheaties. Maybe the Ducks are the first team to do that.

How depressing will it be to:

A) Lose to the Sharks, AGAIN.
B) Not even have Mike Ricci to ridicule from the recliner. Honey, I need another beer.

Check back for more amusing and frustrated rants as we continue our long journey to Spring Training in this, our winter of discontent. One bright spot: I will not have to feel obligated to use my Rams season ticket for several months after Saturday. Tune in Friday for my over under on the actual attendance at the Ed.

And always remember, Quin Snyder should be fired.