Hey Coach, Put Me In

By Brad Lee

Inside the Blues' dressing room Friday morning....

Man, I am hating sitting in the press box during games. The view is terrible. There are too many fat guys and they don't even have mayonaise to put on your french fries (remember, he's French Canadian). Maybe if I really compliment coach Murray he'll let me play in the game.

David, nice work in the meetings and team practice today. You're learning fast.

Thanks coach. I'm learning from the best. I mean, you're the best. I can see why you don't want to send me back to juniors. I'm learning so much sitting and watching. By the way, I loved you in the first Spiderman movie.

David, I'm not an actor. And it's always easier to teach when you have attentive students. And I've got some good news. You're playing tonight.

Sweet! Thanks coach! I won't let you down. I'll remember every thing you've taught me. I won't try to do to much, I'll play within the system. I have to be as strong in my end as I am in their end. My head's on a swivel. And I will have the shortest shifts you've ever seen. I can't wait to get out there and play with some of the greats on this team like Big Walt, Dougie and Kariya.

Here are your linemates.

Hey rook. My gameplan is pretty much skate as fast as I can in any possible direction. Don't try to pass me the puck if I'm in front of the net because I can't hit the broad side of Nebraska with my shot -- unless I'm at the worst possible angle or am getting checked in the corner. In that cast, I'm money.

I'll just echo what Jammer said. We kind of play the same game. Just remember, I'm the guy with hair, luxurious hair flowing from beneath my helmet as I skate as fast as I can into traffic.

Crap, I'm screwed.

(EDIT: It figures. We get all creative and Andy Murray throws a curveball. According to Jeremy Rutherford, Perron will be playing with Doug Weight and Martin Rucinsky. So the 19-year-old might actually have a chance to play well with two skill guys. Bully for him.)