By Marcus Pettersson

Hey Waggy! Waggy, wake up!

What is it? Calm down, Kinger, calm down! What's the matter?

He did it again. It's too much, I can't take it anymore!

Who did what?

The kid! He spoke in that wierd language again.

What are you talking about? Oh, you mean David? He came over again?

Yea. He spoke France to me.

French.

What?

It's called French. France is a country.

That's what I said â€" France.

Sure, but... nevermind. So what if he spoke... France?

It's freakin' me out, man! It's so pretty and smooth sounding... And... and he kicked the crap out of me on that videogame thing! You know the black thingy by the TV... with the pressing of the buttons...

...the pressing of the buttons? What the hell are you talking about? How many times do I have to tell you? It's called a Playstation!

Exactly â€" that thing! I didn't have a chance! He's so fast with his fingers, man. You shoulda seen 'im, it was almost as creepy as when he did that thing with the stickhandling and the pucks in practice the other day! We have to get him out of here, I don't feel good about this, Waggy, he eats his meat bloody fer God's sake, and he keeps whispering that he'll take my spot on the roster soon. Plus, he drinks wine! I've been thinking about telling Coach Andy about that, Waggy. I mean, he's only nineteen! You're not allowed to drink when you're nineteen! You think I should tell him? I'm telling!

Calm down, Kinger, calm down!

Un homme seul est toujours en mauvaise compagnie.

Aaaah!

Hey, Dave. Have you been messing with Kinger again?

Le monde est fait avec des astres et des hommes.

Well, you know how he gets. You think you could let him win a game sometime? He thinks you're being mean.

Si j'eusse été méchant comme tant d'autres, je serais heureux comme eux.

And please, try to speak English around Kinger. He's afraid of strange stuff, including languages.

What afraid?! I spik England very good!

No. It's called Engli... ah, screw this, I'm going back to bed! EJ gets to live with Chopper and I'm stuck in this madhouse!

La bouche sourit mal quand les yeux sont en pleurs.

Nooooooo!

Concept stolen from inspired by Brad Lee. Thanks, Brad.