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Around SBN: Terry Collins, David Wright, And The Mets/Brewers Kerfuffle

Friday night in DJ King’s condo

By Marcus Pettersson

DJ KingHey Waggy! Waggy, wake up!

Steve WagnerWhat is it? Calm down, Kinger, calm down! What's the matter?

DJ KingHe did it again. It's too much, I can't take it anymore!

Steve WagnerWho did what?

DJ KingThe kid! He spoke in that wierd language again.

Steve WagnerWhat are you talking about? Oh, you mean David? He came over again?

DJ KingYea. He spoke France to me.

Steve WagnerFrench.

Deeeeeejaaaaayyy!What?

Steve WagnerIt's called French. France is a country.

DJ KingThat's what I said â€" France.

Steve WagnerSure, but... nevermind. So what if he spoke... France?

DJ KingIt's freakin' me out, man! It's so pretty and smooth sounding... And... and he kicked the crap out of me on that videogame thing! You know the black thingy by the TV... with the pressing of the buttons...

Young Mr Wagner...the pressing of the buttons? What the hell are you talking about? How many times do I have to tell you? It's called a Playstation!

DJ KingExactly â€" that thing! I didn't have a chance! He's so fast with his fingers, man. You shoulda seen 'im, it was almost as creepy as when he did that thing with the stickhandling and the pucks in practice the other day! We have to get him out of here, I don't feel good about this, Waggy, he eats his meat bloody fer God's sake, and he keeps whispering that he'll take my spot on the roster soon. Plus, he drinks wine! I've been thinking about telling Coach Andy about that, Waggy. I mean, he's only nineteen! You're not allowed to drink when you're nineteen! You think I should tell him? I'm telling!

Steve WagnerCalm down, Kinger, calm down!

David PerronUn homme seul est toujours en mauvaise compagnie.

DJ KingAaaah!

Steve WagnerHey, Dave. Have you been messing with Kinger again?

David PerronLe monde est fait avec des astres et des hommes.

Steve WagnerWell, you know how he gets. You think you could let him win a game sometime? He thinks you're being mean.

David PerronSi j'eusse été méchant comme tant d'autres, je serais heureux comme eux.

Steve WagnerAnd please, try to speak English around Kinger. He's afraid of strange stuff, including languages.

What afraid?! I spik England very good!

Steve WagnerNo. It's called Engli... ah, screw this, I'm going back to bed! EJ gets to live with Chopper and I'm stuck in this madhouse!

David PerronLa bouche sourit mal quand les yeux sont en pleurs.

DJ KingNooooooo!

Concept stolen from inspired by Brad Lee. Thanks, Brad.

Star-divide

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Favorite GT Site post ever. This was awesome.

by Answer Man on Oct 26, 2007 8:28 AM CDT reply actions  

For a Swedish guy, you’re pretty funny. I LOVE Blues One Act Theater.

by Brad Lee on Oct 26, 2007 8:38 AM CDT reply actions  

What? Swedish guys have a rep of being boring?

by Marcus Pettersson on Oct 26, 2007 9:04 AM CDT reply actions  

For a guy who speaks Sweden, you write France and England very well. Good job.

by forgetyerskatesdream on Oct 26, 2007 9:57 AM CDT reply actions  

i kept expecting shane doan to show up though….

by Childhood Trauma on Oct 26, 2007 10:05 AM CDT reply actions  

p.s. on a semi-related topic, one of my all time favorite hockey quotes ever…. EVH EHR is

“If it wasn’t for America, who knows what language I’d be speaking now.”
—- Mark “speak american you frogs!!” Parrish

by Childhood Trauma on Oct 26, 2007 10:39 AM CDT reply actions  

that was rad as hell. LMFAO!!!! great job though some strange experessions by perron.

by Chris D on Oct 26, 2007 10:55 AM CDT reply actions  

gotta love that babelfish translator. so, Perron is a philosopher?

by Dooks on Oct 26, 2007 12:32 PM CDT reply actions  

Anyone remember how pissed Eddie Belfour would get whenever Phillippe Bozon would come around his net? I wonder what Bozon was saying in France to him.

by Pagan on Oct 26, 2007 12:32 PM CDT reply actions  

Dans votre sommeil, votre petite amie transforme en Mike Ricci. Vous réveillez sentir de l’urine.

???

by Childhood Trauma on Oct 26, 2007 12:42 PM CDT reply actions  

or maybe

Votre mère m’a réveillé ce matin avec son rire dirigé à votre virilité

by Childhood Trauma on Oct 26, 2007 1:05 PM CDT reply actions  

Well played, Mr. Pettersson – this completely cancels out the picture of the guy in his underwear from the other night.

(taking www.stlouisgametime.com off of my “banned and restricted websites” list)

by Adam on Oct 26, 2007 2:13 PM CDT reply actions  

hell of a job Marcus. that was amazing. now were is my french to english dictionary…..

by UneasyEric on Oct 27, 2007 10:24 AM CDT reply actions  

Absolutely hilarious!! Well played indeed Mr. Pettersson!

The other day Tkachuk described DJ King as having a head as big as a billboard. To which I say….

HEED… Pants Now!!

by Chris on Oct 27, 2007 11:26 AM CDT reply actions  

“luk at ‘is cranium…et’s so big et’s got et’s own weaher system”

by Dooks on Oct 27, 2007 3:02 PM CDT reply actions  

Its like an orange on a toothpick

by Chris on Oct 27, 2007 3:30 PM CDT reply actions  

Mike Johnson has been put on waivers and David Perron is in the lineup tonight. EJ might be on the verge of coming back, word is that is why Johnson was put on waivers to make room for him to come off of IR.

by Chris on Oct 27, 2007 3:31 PM CDT reply actions  

Oh, that did it. That one got to him. Now he’s going to go cry himself to sleep on his GIANT pillow.

by gallagher on Oct 27, 2007 4:58 PM CDT reply actions  

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