You Write The Comedy Wednesday

by Brad Lee on Dec 19, 2007 11:23 AM CST

With the Red Wings in town Thursday, sharpen your Detroit comedy chops on this photo. Your hilarity in the comments regarding a meeting of the minds between Chris Osgood and Dominik Hasek.

Please, pull no punches

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“I don’t believe you’re wearing your protective cup, so I’m going to have to check for myself.”

by Brad Lee on Dec 19, 2007 11:25 AM CST reply actions

“sorry, my hand might be a little cold. just relax, turn your head, and cough.”

by Jessica on Dec 19, 2007 11:57 AM CST reply actions

“Whatcha guys doin’? You talkin’ about goalie stuff? Cool. goalie stuff, huh. So, whatcha talkin’ about? Can I go? Where you goin’? Guys?”

by gallagher on Dec 19, 2007 12:30 PM CST reply actions

“Your five hole is soooo much bigger than mine. Here, let’s measure.”

by Brad Lee on Dec 19, 2007 1:38 PM CST reply actions

“Chris Draper taught me this move. He calls it the Maltby.”

by Brad Lee on Dec 19, 2007 1:40 PM CST reply actions

“If you don’t let me see how am I supposed to say who is bigger? You or Manny?”

by John on Dec 19, 2007 1:40 PM CST reply actions

Really? There’s nothing quite like a freshly shorn scrotum? Here, let me check yours.

by Pagan on Dec 19, 2007 1:42 PM CST reply actions

“Seriously. I’m never retiring. You’ll have to take the starting job from my cold dead hands.”

by Pagan on Dec 19, 2007 1:42 PM CST reply actions

No, I just want to touch it a little. You know, get it wet or something. I don’t know. Really? I can? Medicine hat huh? Oh, that was your Junior team? Do you know Boyd Craven?

by Answer Man on Dec 19, 2007 2:19 PM CST reply actions

we three wings of detroit are

standing here discussing the bar

we will go to

after we see blue

hopefully we’ll lose by farty far

by Childhood Trauma on Dec 19, 2007 2:28 PM CST reply actions

So he says…“Rectum. No. Damn near Killed him!”

by Flash on Dec 19, 2007 2:45 PM CST reply actions

C’mon, Ozzie! You mean you’ve never heard of a Soviet Troika?

by StLooFrenchy on Dec 19, 2007 3:27 PM CST reply actions

Looks like Redwings management might have to place a call to Sexual Harassment Panda.

by Jessica on Dec 19, 2007 3:51 PM CST reply actions

No. Seriously. When I was a young boy growing up in Russia, Vladislav Tretiak would come up behind us, tickle the tea bag and tell us it was part of his strict training regiment on the Red Army team.

by Flash on Dec 19, 2007 3:55 PM CST reply actions

“Hey Ozzie. Why do people make Russian jokes about me when I was born in Pardubice, Czechoslovakia?”

by Brad Lee on Dec 19, 2007 4:09 PM CST reply actions

Damn! I should have saw that coming! (not meant as caption)

by Flash on Dec 19, 2007 4:14 PM CST reply actions

But really, what’s the likelihook that I’ll ever get another chance to work in some Tretiak goodness? Goalies is smart and bestest players in hockey! Right AM? AM? Uhhhh… AM?

by Flash on Dec 19, 2007 4:29 PM CST reply actions

Flash, did you forget to take your meds today? It’s OK dude, just be ready for pick up tonight. Make sure to eat right.

by Answer Man on Dec 19, 2007 4:45 PM CST reply actions

Take your mask of Ozzie, I like to look you in the eye when I make you “hoppy.”

by Gift on Dec 19, 2007 6:33 PM CST reply actions

Sometimes in prison, you gotta shiv a guy. Like this!

by gallagher on Dec 19, 2007 9:16 PM CST reply actions

In zee locker room, ve changed zee lyrics to zat zong by Kiss, Detroit Rock City. Vell, venever zay say Rock…let me demonstrate vat ve do. Zis is vy zey call me ze Dominator.

by Gift on Dec 19, 2007 9:39 PM CST reply actions

No, Dom, I stood on my other head.

by Gift on Dec 19, 2007 9:42 PM CST reply actions

If you touch me I’ll tell your boyfriends!

by StLooFrenchy on Dec 19, 2007 11:07 PM CST reply actions

Hasek: Hey, Ozzman. Knock knock!

Osgood: Ah, man, not again… sigh …who’s there?

Hasek: Ivan.

Osgood: Ivan who?

Hasek: Ivan to suck your blood!

Datsyuk: [Laughs] Dom, you so funny! Always with the jokes!

by Marcus Pettersson on Dec 20, 2007 1:36 AM CST reply actions

“hey Ozzie, you know how you’ve been making me look bad lately? well, I just put eyedrops in your bottle. you’re in for a rough night”

by Dooks on Dec 20, 2007 1:37 AM CST reply actions

am/flash do u play in the wed pick up at creve couer?

by Chris D on Dec 20, 2007 5:57 AM CST reply actions

No we don’t. We are both in KC right now and played at King Louie’s on Metcalf last night. Flash looked good. He is such the ice dancer.

by Answer Man on Dec 20, 2007 9:33 AM CST reply actions

Way to bury that one-time feed I gave you last night AM. What rocket! Lightning is definitely back! And what did I tell you about those white skates? Pretty jazzy, eh?! I feel like I’m skating on air!

by Flash on Dec 20, 2007 9:54 AM CST reply actions

Somehow this thread just got gayer in just the last two comments. That’s startling news considering most of the previous jokes included some sort of male anatomy reference.

by Brad Lee on Dec 20, 2007 10:24 AM CST reply actions