Confessions of a Paid Fan

By Brad Lee

Hi. I'm THE The Blue Revolution Guy. Remember, I had a little site called "The Blue Revolution" and we tried to make it look like I was a fan who was excited about the new ownership. I was going to lead a fan insurgency that was going to generate excitement and get people on board with the Blues. It was going to be the best "fan" site ever.

It was working too. People were coming on the site and posting messages and videos, even that cool Cotton-Eyed Joe Guy (he's my hero). They let me barge into the press conference announcing the new ownership and hug Dave Checketts.

We put up these amateur-looking banners over billboards around town. It was real gorilla marketing, which is cool and smart unlike some people in this town. So what if I was paid and I don't know the first thing about hockey and the Blues owned the Web site? Big freaking deal. But when some hard-core fans (more like stuck-up hockey snobs) complained that the campaign was dishonest and stupid, I got shit-canned. Thanks. Now I'm acting in Schnucks grocery store TV ads to pay my rent. At least they let me keep my killer pencil-thin beard.

You know what happened when they shut down the site? The Blues were last in the league and they had to fire their coach, or so I heard. I don't even know if the season is still going on. I'm excited about Cardinals baseball, man. We have the BEST fans in baseball (ask anybody). And we have Baseball Heaven, which we totally deserve. It's awesome. And we're world champions of the world. So screw that hockey crap.

Long story short, I'm on my feet acting in local commercials, hockey is dumb, hockey fans are dumber and The Blue Revolution finally makes it official. We surrender.