Dear Jammer…

From Your Hockey Stick.

Dear Jammer, or should I be more formal, since it seems we're not on the best of terms? I'll be safe and start again.

Dear Jamal Mayers,

I hope things are going well in Russia. I mean, you told me that you were going "on vacation to Florida", but you seem to have somehow found your way to the homeland of the World Championships.

But you know what, Jammer? I don't even care about that. I mean, after the season we had, we could both use a break from one another. Who knows, maybe a break would do us good. Help us get our heads back on straight and get ready for a new season. I know I spent a few days up in Wyoming, just having some quiet time away from the rink.

But then I find out that you are not in Florida and you are not just "watching"the IIHF World Championships. No. You are playing in the World Championships. Playing without me. And even worse? You're using another stick AND scoring goals?

What happened, Jammer? Where did we go wrong?

A whole season together, hacking at people's wrists, cross-checking guys in the back, taking stupid penalties, blowing wide-open breakaways, for what? For you to go to Russia and SCORE GOALS with some two-timing, whorish Easton? An Easton, Jammer! A goddamn Easton? Don't you remember about how we used to make fun of Eastons?

Fine, Jamal, if that's how it's going to be between us. But we both know who changed in this relationship. It wasn't me, it was you.

Enjoy Russia, Jamal, but when you get back with your newer, younger-looking stick and all your fancy new goals, don't come looking for me. I'll be long gone. I heard that Ryan Johnson doesn't plan on scoring much this year. Maybe I'll give him a call.