Now that’s some progressive thinking.

By Sean Gallagher

As reported today by the only daily rag here in St. Louis, Blues uber-prospect Erik Johnson was given a training program by Blues Strength, Conditioning and Other Meathead Activities Coach, Nelson Ayotte. The crazy part of the plan? Erik Johnson has been forbidden from skating for a month.

In an unconfirmed report, he was also forced to break all of his sticks and turn them into arts and crafts projects all summer. In addition, young savior of the blueline Erik must also don the blaster shield once worn by Luke Skywalker during his lightsaber training when he practices.

"With the blast shield down, I can't even see. How am I supposed to fight?"

"Your eyes can deceive you; don't trust them."

Uh, I don't really know Ayotte well enough to question him, but I know I don't know him well enough to know he's not some sort of hockey Jedi Master. Because that I would have heard about.