Screw Dallas

by Brad Lee on Jan 11, 2008 9:55 AM CST

Nice suit

By Brad Lee

It's 4 p.m. and I'm driving 120 mph in my Lamborghini. Once you get on Highway 40Â past the road construction, it's like the friggin' Autobahn. No traffic, lots of lanes and best of all, no cops. We play the Dallas Stars tonight. I'm pissed

(The Lamborghini pushes 130)

God, I want to beat these fuckers. Last game I scored a hat trick in the third period alone. I just couldn't get that picture out my head. She had just been in Dallas, wearing that fugly jersey cheering her new guy on.

Jessica -I Used To Be Hotter- Simpson

Pfft. I should have been that new guy. I coulda been that new guy. But nooooooo. She said I was too much of an intellectual. And her dad said I wasn't tall enough. Screw that guy! What's he know? He's doing such a great job managing her career, she hasn't had a song on the radio since she played that slutty looking waitress in the short shorts in Dukes of Hazzard.

But you know what, I got over it. I relaxed. I mean, it was no big deal. We'd only bumped into each other a couple times in L.A. She couldn't evenÂ pronounce my name correctly. But that only added to her charm. Chicken of the sea indeed.

But then she had to go and rub it in my face that she's with that dumb looking quarterback. All the hot girls date the football quarterback. She had to let the Paparazzi know where she was staying on her vacation knowing the pictures would get back to me.

He looks like a douche bag with his hat like that.

You know what? Fuck Dallas. We're going to kick their ass tonight.

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Comments

Poor poor Paulie!

by Marcus Pettersson on Jan 11, 2008 10:54 AM CST reply actions

i know that, in a previous thread, someone mentioned dave checketts talking about the taco goal. i think what was not mentioned is that dan mclaughlin then proceeded to ask him if the blues got the fifth goal, if he would see dave checketts at an area taco bell the next day. checketts gracefully said that he would be at scottrade center for tacos if they got the fifth goal. class on the owner’s part. i mean, come on, you’re interviewing the owner of the team, have your shit together, please.

by Jessica on Jan 11, 2008 12:52 PM CST reply actions

Jessica, have you dumped Tony Romo yet? Paul would like you to give him a call.

by Brad Lee on Jan 11, 2008 1:11 PM CST reply actions

I love the three girls in the last picture tryingto pretend they’re in a group shot but actually craning to try to get Simpson and/or Romo in the shot.

That chick on the right of the group cannot be happy with the way that pose is working out.

by gallagher on Jan 11, 2008 3:23 PM CST reply actions

There is another picture out there that is just as grainy where her parents are standing next to her, probably giving Romo really bad career advice.

I bet when Romo planned this little get together he never thought: “And in the morning while Jessica is walking around in her robe and nothing else, I can put my hat on backwards and hang out on the veranda with her Parents. It’ll rock!”

by Brad Lee on Jan 11, 2008 3:29 PM CST reply actions