Santa visits St. Louis

but you beat me to it!

Manny Legace wished for a new contract… he wished REALLY HARD! He also asked for a giant spiked steel dildo so that he can shove it up Holmstrom’s ass next time he sees him.

I think Fragile Jay asked for bubble wrap this year.

Chris Mason will probably get that Phillips T980 Beard Trimmer.

Brad Boyes asked for some girls… har har, also, he asked for a better plus-minus rating.

thats all I got…

Brewer asked to become a real boy
Oshie asked for a new ankle
Kariya asked for his glory days talent to return
Manny asked for his bad luck to leave him
Perron asked for his coach to actually respect him
Macdonald asked to actually get royalties from his family’s restaurant chain
Steen asked for his dad’s talent
Tkachuk asked to keep playing for St. Louis forever

Erik Johnson asked for a golf cart…be careful what you wish for.

Andy Strickland asked for a fucking editor. This guy must still be in the business based upon his radio work, because I’m pretty damned sure that unless I’m drunk, I could write circles around this guy every day, both content-wise, and grammatically speaking. Fuck, the SLGT staff doesn’t get paid a dime, and they pump out way better material than anything I’ve ever read from him.

Oh yea…and Merry Christmas

/rant

-Towel Boy asked for a better economy, after learning that due to budget cuts… he will be supplied with only wash-cloths.

-The organist asked for a gun… because he has the best chance for a clear head shot on Cotton Eyed Joe dude.

-Eric Brewer asked for defensive skills like his brother has

-BJ Crombeen asked for a hat trick….. oh wait a second

-Andy Murray asked to receive before sunday an expert who knows how to handle ducks.

-eh, im too tired to think of more.

Who asked for some more ties from the vintage 1970s’ Baptist Preacher Tie Shoppe and some suits from Rufus McGee’s Stylle Boutique, whcih specializes in the finest pimpage.

John Kelly asked for some artificial tears so he can actually blink.

Tkachoke asked for another miracolous year of point production while the team loses. A trade to a team that wins the Cup or gets really close. In the off-season he’s resigned by the Blues for Sundin money while he waits a few months into the season dreaming about everyone will talk about if he’ll come back or which team will get him. This time he’s going to start buying fast-food franchises so that he can save money and eat.

   What every Blues’ fan wrote to Santa for was an elite goaltender who can start 70 or games a season, score about 10 shutouts a season, who is there to make the big saves and only rarely has bad games or small patches of bad play. Then we all wish that Pleau gets fucking fired for being such a retarded stupid fuck who’s best gift to hockey was a rule suggestion at this year’s fucking GM meetings. Then the Blues realize they have ol’ AL and Jarmo there but they somehow managed to hire yet another fucking GM who was fired by Dallas and replaced in half by Hull. Damn…to know one of your replacements for your job was Brett Hull and it didn’t have to do with playing hockey or some sort of sports color-man…

So in light of their error they FIre the Goblin and hire ol’AL as coach firing especially fucking Bennet the hariless monkey, who brought us such gifts as last year’s power play and some sort of attempt to look like he was a certain fat older brother of an X-men character or the poor Canadian cousin of Orphan Annie’s adopted father Daddy Warbucks. Maybe they somehow hire Savard, who seemed to be doing a pretty good job with the kids. Anyone who believes Coach Q is responsible for the Blackhawks’ record must not notice all of the talent on that team.