By Chris Gift
Welcome fellow pain lovers. Whatever it takes, right? Ten minutes to game time, and at last check, the Blues aren't losing...yet. Everybody gets their start somewhere. Before Jay Leno took over, he subbed for Johnny Carson fairly regularly.
I'm not about to start putting headlines up here, or get chin enhancement surgery, but I'll do my damndest to fill Brad Lee's fantasy baseball drafting shoes tonight.
I figure no matter how bad of a job I do on this, it won't be as bad as the Blues have been playing since Thanksgiving.
Since the game hasn't started yet, and neither team has done anything to piss me off, I need to vent about San Jose's uniforms.
When I heard that the league was redesigning all of the teams' sweaters, I figured that San Jose's couldn't get any worse.
San Jose is in California. The Sopranos took place in New Jersey. Does anyone else not get the connection in that opening?
I'm guessing Federko saved this shirt for this game. He found a color more offensive than teal.
Sign number 385 that the Murray has folded the tent: Toivonen starts in goal.
Being locked in a basement in Kirkwood listening online sucks. Thank you for the creepy Shawn Hornbeck reference, Brad.Okay, I'm stuck in font hell. That's what I get for making fun of kidnapped people in basements in Kirkwood, debating OPS and ERA, and playing the "would'ya" game about the Golden Girls (and not the Mizzou cheerleaders)
18:50: A team up 1-0 after a minute and ten seconds isn't that big of a deal. Oh, this isn't basketball?While that goal wasn't entirely Toivonen's fault, you have to think if Manny is in there (or a goalie that is better than Toivonen) that he does a better job with rebounds and getting the puck into the corner.17:23- Call me crazy, but I thought that shot from the point was in.
16:44- The goal was Michalek from Campbell and Thornton. Three of the Sharks' players combined to score a goal. Haven't seen that in these parts in a while.
13:08- Honestly, why are we surprised that the Blues are in 14th place in the conference? The team has the league's worst road record (10-17-6) and the league's worst power play (13.6%). Teams with records and power play percentages like that usually don't make the playoffs.
12:05- In Toivonen's defense... at least he isn't Reinhard Divis.
11:31- McDonald in the box for holding the stick. John Kelly thought it was a high sticking penalty. I think there's a Magic 8 Ball in the booth that has different penalties on it that John and Bernie shake whenever a penalty is called.
10:13- Along the lines of Crotchfruit, Gallagher, just remember as much as Barret Jackman takes pride in being from "Trail, B.C." when he re-upped with the Blues, the press release said he was from Fruitvale, B.C.
9:31- So Taguchi just scored. And to think, we thought he was only a late innings defensive replacement.
8:42- Assisted by...Christ, I don't remember, the hell with it. Nobody's listening.
8:40- Federko just said "We're not sure who got the goal." Then who should we ask, Bernie?
7:50- MAN-NY! MAN-NY! MAN-NY!
7:33- Milo, I have no problem giving players that aren't the worst player in the league nicknames. So, no "Tofu" for me, or no "Ears." We, as a community, need to concentrate on getting Toivonen deported.
Penalty shot- Can't fault EJ on that. Do the Blues have a better shot playing with six skaters and NO goalie?
6:29- "Toivonen catches with his left hand." I find it hard to believe that Toivonen catches with anything.
6:04- That may have been the first goal this season that Federko didn't say "He didn't see it, he really didn't have a chance on it."
5:00- I must be drunk. I heard "Save by Toivonen" twice in five seconds.
4:59- Mayers vs. Rivet. Not much of a fight. I'm guessing Rivet said something along the lines of "Your goalie is so shitty, Mayers, even YOU can score on him."
4:59- Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop taking barbituates.
4:52- Great news, FSN has added the Ottawa game, and will televise from there on the 20th. Kelly billed it as "against Jason Spezza and the Senators." I like Spezza's odds by himself, the hell with the rest of the Senators showing up.
3:06- Roman Pola'k joke of the day: What do you call a cute girl in Poland?
2:25- Answer: A tourist
2:07- San Jose's All-Star goaltender is playing tonight. I wonder if he's fast enough to make it down to the other end of the ice and play for both teams in the same game.
1:14- What is it with mascots not wearing pants? Sharkie is going al fresco much like our little loveable Louie does.
0:40- "Save by Toivonen." I still don't know what that means.
0:11.5- Blues on the Power Play, and Brad just drafted Tom Herr.
0:00- We love Skeletor. Back in a few minutes.