By Chris Gift
Pierre Turegon vs. Tony Hrkac
Okay, Boyes and Red Wings Fans, we're not really sure why everything is centered, but we're just going to go with it. At least the site will be less likely to tip over in the event of a sharp turn.
The voiceover just said "Blues, Canadiens, Tuesday on FSN Midwest." Please, don't remind me.
16:29- The Blues play in Anaheim tomorrow night. They go from Silicon Valley (where silicon is used to make your computer better) to the other Silicon Valley (where girls with silicon in them end up making your computer slower from downloading their pictures)
14:59- Every time I hear "McLaren" I think I'm watching a Formula One race.
14:33- I beleive in WordPress Code #1. Screw up when the new guy is posting just to piss him off.
13:42- This just in: Brad Lee has drafted Wally Pipp
Commercial- With all those potential side effects- backache, nausea, bad credit.. is getting a stiffy off of Cialis really worth it?
12:37- Johnson has played 15 minutes in two periods. Somebody's girlfriend can't wait to congratulate him.
12:00- Can't we call that guy "rivet" a time or two?
11:17- KGB TV just said we can't fault Toivonen at all on any of the goals? Who are we supposed to blame, for Christ's sake? Theo Huxtable?
9:55- Couldn't Cialis ask if we have "foundation problems" like McLaughlin just did?
9:55 (part 2)- Federko managed to say "Whatever it takes." And mention a kitchen sink in the same sentence. Screw it, I'm going to feed Snoopy.
9:08- This is the part where I wish Chase was on TV, he'd tell us how he really feels, and instead of sugar coating everything, he'd say that the team is pissy about playing this shitty lately too.
8:12- That sure looked like a Shark playing with a broken stick, didn't it?
7:33- A wise(ass) editor once said earlier this season that the Blues look like a bunch of players trying to win with individual plays, not win as a team. I see a good deal of that tonight.
7:03- After watching this game, and listening to this commentary, sometimes I...well, I was going to go for a Helen Keller joke here, but I thought better of it.
5:31 left in regulation- Latendresse may be the exception to the Frogs aren't tough rule. I'd take him over most of the Blues' forwards.
Commercial- Why doesn't the guy in the Acuvue commercial give Grandpa Cialis his contacts so he can shove that football in the tire swing without having three of his fingers fall off and his nuts getting shoved in a waffle iron?
4:37- My bologna has a first name, its O-S-C-A-R...four more minutes until I go to the liquor cabinet and burn my esophagus with something strong straight out of the bottle. My last comment to Gallagher before the game was "I hope this doesn't end up like the Calgary game did..." Well, so much for that.
2:20- McDonald and McLaren battle for the puck, stop in mid battle, ask what town in Ireland each other's relatives are from have a pint, sing Danny Boy, then beat the hell out of a complete stranger for looking at somebody's sister the wrong way.
1:10- Seriously, just keep the puck behind your net for another minute and kill the clock.
0:31- If I could have two wishes, it would be for a backup goaltender, and that the Blues realize how terrible John and Bernie are and get either Darren Pang or Joe Micheletti to do color.
Its over. Amen.