TJ Oshie Is Studying For Finals

by gallagher on Apr 30, 2008 12:10 AM CDT

By Sean Gallagher

Up late on a Tuesday night, college junior and Blues prospect TJ Oshie is studying for his final exams...

TJ Oshie, buckling down Man, if I didn't think I was gonna need this information, I would have totally dropped this Recreational Studies course...

[ring tone: Coldplay]

Go for Osh.

EJ, not studying at all. Yo, Teej! What. Up. Dawg.

Nuttin, Eeej. Just studying for these exams. You know, gettin' my learn on. You know the deal, right? Just like when you were at Minnesota?

The Eeej, not so sure. Yeah, um, not really. With the Gophers, I didn't exactly have to spend that much time studying. In fact, I kinda left before that first year was up. I actually spent more time putting up sweet Facebook photos than studying for exams. I'll send a recent one to your phone:

The Osh, jealous. Um, that actually looks pretty fun. But the college parties here in North Dakota are pretty rad, too, man. The co-ed tail just can't be beat.

Erik Johnson, unimpressed. Wrong.

TJ, defensive But there are these puck bunny girls...

EJ, quite sure. Wrong.

TJ, still not conceding But...

EJ, King of Tail. Wrong.

Hey, hold on for a sec.

[Incoming text from Perron, David.]

Perron in a clown-sized jersey. [Wrong.]

EJ, vindicated. Told ya. Plus, here in St. Louis, you won't have to worry about any more run-ins with the law. The cops love us here. Earlier this year, I may or may not have gotten to meet some cops out in Town & Country. Let's just say that if I did it was because they may have been checking out some suspicious activity in a car parked in Al MacInnis' driveway.

IfyaknowwhatImean.

TJ, interested. And they didn't do anything? No booking? No stupid charges?

EJ, beaming. Nup. Plus, once they figured out that her boyfriend's car didn't have any warrants or anything, they just left us. I mean, if something like that did happen.

So, you still wanna keep buckling down so hard? I mean, you can pay a dude to math it up for you soon enough.

TJ, backpedaling. Dude, education is important. Plus, I was talking to my teammates and...

EJ, cooler. My teammates are millionaires.

TJ, scrounging for Taco Bell change. Well, my teammates...

EJ, still a millionaire. Are not millionaires. They're fine, I'm sure. But being a millionaire is fun. You should try it.

Hold on.

TJ gets another text. [Incoming text: Backes, David.]

David Backes former college player. [Dude, college is a joke. Be a millionaire.]

Osh, confused. You know, exams do kinda suck.

EJ, winning. Look, Osh, I gotta get out, but it's time you stop wasting your life with this education bullshit and get on with the real world of being a professional athlete.

the Teej gets another message. [boop boop: waiting incoming call.]

JD, anxious to do whatever it takes. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Come on, pick up.

TJ, harried. Aw shit. Not yet, big guy.

[Ignore.]

Hey, EJ, before you go, tell me about that girl in her boyfriend's car again....

Fin.

Tweet Comment 13 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

Seriously, finals are for sucks. Yeah the college chicks may “experiment” with a double dong or even kiss another girl at a party but Pro-Hockey Groupies will fist each other.

Imagine being a St. Louis Blue, walk in to Harry’s on Jefferson. Picture it now. You point and one skank, then motion for her to get over to the other skank two stools down. They check each other out, grab their purses and take you home. 2 hours later, 1 broken condom, 2 used condoms and a butt plug later and you now have some really sweet facebook pictures. College……smell you later.

by Answer Man on Apr 30, 2008 8:58 AM CDT reply actions

I cannot compete in the comments after that from the Answer Man.

And color me disappointed Gravy didn’t use Teej’s police booking photo for this.

by Brad Lee on Apr 30, 2008 10:10 AM CDT reply actions

“Eeej – what does mine say?”

“Teej – but what does MINE say?”

“Eeej…”

by Adam Duke on Apr 30, 2008 10:13 AM CDT reply actions

As a chick, don’t even know how to respond to AM but it is pretty true.

Anyway, on a totally different note – there is something at the Pageant – the Kidsmart Spelling Bee next Thursday night – which will have in attendence as a “celebrity” Capt Roboto himself. Are they not aware of his robot powers??? All in all sounds like a great organization but a little pricy for this girl.

http://back2schoolwithjoebuck.kidsmartstl.org/index.php

Also, what up with EJ and the T&C po-po? I am aware of his ND fake ID he used to get served at VWA last year but they only got 1 beer a piece and they were in the Grey Eagle box because of Komodoski, so I know they didn’t get drunk that night at Nickelback…..Even Grey Eagle can’t get a box of minors “pre-carded” Just curious – whatever happened I’m sure Al & Jackie were NOT happy about it! :)

by Diana on Apr 30, 2008 12:01 PM CDT reply actions

Yea, like being a NHL millionair is better than sharing a room in a dorm with some dude who haven’t taken a shower in three weeks… pah!

…ehm…

by Marcus Pettersson on Apr 30, 2008 3:00 PM CDT reply actions

Eeej better watch the fooling around in his landlord’s driveway.
T&C cops are one thing, but imagine seeing Chopper tapping on the window.

by Chia on Apr 30, 2008 3:10 PM CDT reply actions

Chia said: “Eeej better watch the fooling around in his landlord’s driveway…”

I think the deal that Eeej’s agent struck was that if Eeej (that’s pretty hard to type) shovelled the driveway all winter, he had pretty much free reign on it for the rest of the year, so no worries there.

by Mr. Particle on Apr 30, 2008 5:36 PM CDT reply actions