You Call This A Celebrity Hockey Game?

by Brad Lee on Jun 12, 2008 10:59 AM CDT

Alan Thicke, one of the most famous Canadian actors. Ever.

By Brad Lee

Hockeyfest sounds like such a nice idea on paper.

The Blues have the fourth overall pick, so unless they trade down (exactly like they did last year), they're going to hopefully get a good player at the top of the draft. So holding a draft party at the Drinkscotch Center instead of in a crowded, loud and sweaty sports bar like last year is a good idea. And making a whole weekend out of the event is even better. A bunch of the proceeds are going to charity, a stellar idea. But then there's this "celebrity" hockey game Saturday night that is destined to not end well.

Back in mid-May, season ticket holders were sent an e-mail detailing the weekend of events and included the roster of stars to appear. Here's the graphic that was in the e-mail:

If anyone can tell me who Brendan Fehr is and why he's a celebrity, I would appreciate it.

Hey look, it's a bunch of Blues players and some kind of famous people. Hopefully Andy Murray won't be a coach and bench Perron in the third period. Alan Thicke, there's a pleasant memory from my youth. That Michael Vartan guy looks vaguely familiar. DB Sweeney, sounds like a Canadian name. And what's this, right next to the guy with the emo bangs? Why it's Dave Coulier, otherwise known as ~~Uncle~~ Joey from Full House! You know, this guy [EDIT: As a commenter pointed out, the character Joey on Full House was not in fact an uncle.]:

Why did the guy who made this photo cover up an Olsen twin?

I was all set. I was going to boo him and yell "Fuck Detroit!" and throw an octopus at him. I was going to let everyone in my section know ~~Uncle~~ Joey taught the Olsen twins how to use drugs and what bulemia is and how he pushed Candace Cameron (you know, D.J. Tanner) to not only a super-soft Fruit Euro, but one of the softest of them all -- the overrated, not as genetically-blessed former Blue, Valeri Bure.

Seriously, couldn't she find a better hockey player? Sasha Khavanov already spoken for?

I had high hopes I was going to make Uncle Joey cry (and somewhere Allanis Morisette was going to smile). And now my plans have been thwarted by the caveat under the photo of the stars: Celebrities, players and alumni scheduled to appear are subject to change. Now Uncle Joey isn't on the listing. A lot of people aren't on the listing.

This montage of photos, much less crowded.

You mean to tell me Uncle Joey has a different gig lined up? Someone else booked the talents of Dave Coulier? Doubtful. I think Coulier was surfing around on the Interwebs and saw that the No. 1 sports blog for the St. Louis Blues is still holding steady at No. 4 on the Google search results for the phrase "fuck Detroit." I think he knew he was going to get the visiting Red Wings treatment. I think Dave Coulier is a pussy.

Now the "celebrity" game has Kim Alexis (definitely a cougar, which is nice) and some woman named Kate Linder from a soap opera. And of course Alan Thicke who will apparently play in your pickup street hockey game if you put his photo on your Web site. To make the event even more awkward, one of the most famous Blackhawks, Bobby Hull, is scheduled to be one of the coaches for the game along with Charlie Spoonhour, the former St. Louis University basketball coach. Makes perfect sense.

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Comments

Maybe Spoon will bring Scott Highmark with him. Scotty doesnt even have to be able to skate. Just have him stand 19’ 9" from the goal and set picks around him. (Spoon just has to call the Red Wings for pointers on how to do that.)

by Rich Horton on Jun 12, 2008 12:38 PM CDT reply actions

Why the fuck wasn’t Unger listed in the first little web graphic. That’s worth the price of admission right there.

And where the hell is Plager! I hope Bobby doesn’t think he’s getting too old to go out and throw his hip-check. There’s a good reason you don’t see Andy Strickland up there. My guess is he told the Blues he was “in transit” and will show up a little sloshed, 15 minutes late.

by Chia on Jun 12, 2008 1:15 PM CDT reply actions

why is ron duguay coming to the blues thingie? Were Sylvain Cote, Tim Kerr, and Doug Houda just to predictable to be useful at a Blues’ event?

on the other side, i had made serval enquires about extras (as i hold no season tickets) and no response= i’m taking off this friday instead of next!

woooo!!!

Top 11 neo-stars no longer sched to appear at the Blues draft party.

11: the guy who invented the hokey pokey. (had he invented the Hockey pokey, look out!)

10: Marc Price (skippy from family ties).

09: Bo Diddley.

08: Brian Weidle .

07: Danielle Brisebois (Stephanie Mills from All in the Family).

06: Sean Gallagher. The baseball player. Ain’t no other famous ones, are there?

05: Melinda Culea (the girl from the A-team, until girls who were regular cast member were written out in the second season to make room for more rounds of ammo being expended)

04: Ken Wilson, Mama’s Island Pizza owner and future governor of Hawaii

03: Kukla!

02: Orson Bean

01: The Shark from Happy Days!!! (think his stagename was Bruce Junior)

by Childhood Trauma on Jun 12, 2008 1:28 PM CDT reply actions

Trauma brings even more obscure references than the Blues’ celebrity skaters.

And Ken Wilson is coming back to the mainland to run a baseball league on the West Coast. He’s also dropped his aspirations for governor of Hawaii.

by Brad Lee on Jun 12, 2008 1:49 PM CDT reply actions

I hear they kicked Wilson out of Hawaii after his whole “Aloha Baby” thing just didn’t catch on.

by Pagan on Jun 12, 2008 2:02 PM CDT reply actions

Pagan: Nicely done.

Chia: But will Unger actually appear? If he doesn’t, I’m taking home a secret souvenir worth about $20! Big mustard bottle, anyone?

by Milo on Jun 12, 2008 5:52 PM CDT reply actions

Oh, and while we’re on the subject of “Uncle Joey”, does anyone have the episode on tape where one of the pre-pubescent twins was in a room with a policewoman pointing to a doll?

/Yeah, yeah. One way ticket.
//Window seat, please.

by Milo on Jun 12, 2008 5:56 PM CDT reply actions

Kind of disappointing that we are down to Alan Thicke and the actress who plays Mrs. Chancellor’s maid on Y&R. But the high side is Duguay and Unger. I got a ticket for my brother and those are 2 of his favorite players from back in the day. Also coaching are Noel Picard & Mr. Shanahan so that’s some nice history in the house. And TJ, Eller, Berglund, Junland & Bishop and at some point they said our #4 pick will also take the ice. Imagine that – kid, keep the jersey on, your on the next plane to the Lou to lace ‘em up with Al MacInnis.
Well, if into the autograph thing, there are some Cardinals as well as some favorites of the past throughout the weekend. The only one actually signing during the game though is Kelly Chase’s best friend Joey Kocur.
I met him at an Alumni game a few years back (I think it was the lockout year) – nicest guy and laughed when I told him I hated him…..said it was no problem I wasn’t the first to tell him that because he was just doing his job. Then we drank a beer and all was cool……. :)

by Diana on Jun 13, 2008 8:09 AM CDT reply actions

Diana, I’m surprised Kocur didn’t throw a chair at you.

by Brad Lee on Jun 13, 2008 9:07 AM CDT reply actions

“DB Sweeney, sounds like a Canadian name.”

He’s the dude from “The Cutting Edge,” where he plays a hockey player turned figure skater. You know, like Craig Janney or Pierre Turgoen.

But seriously, is the only celebrity requirement for this game to be born in Canada and be not dead yet?

by Pagan on Jun 13, 2008 9:13 AM CDT reply actions

Please tell me that Manny is not appearing in this game. That’s just tempting the hockey gods.

by gallagher on Jun 13, 2008 9:48 AM CDT reply actions

I would go only if I get to finger Kim Alexis. Yeah, she’s a bit worn out but hey, she still rocks it. That, and I have huge knuckles.

by Answer Man on Jun 13, 2008 10:42 AM CDT reply actions

“I would go only if I get to finger Kim Alexis. Yeah, she’s a bit worn out but hey, she still rocks it. That, and I have huge knuckles.”

I heard her vag is going to serve as one of the goals for the celebrity game.

by Pagan on Jun 13, 2008 1:06 PM CDT reply actions

I always thought Pagan was a man…until he/she trotted out the hockey player turned figure skater reference. No male I’ve ever met has publicly acknowledged seeing that film before.

by Brad Lee on Jun 13, 2008 2:05 PM CDT reply actions

>_>

<_<

“toepick”

by Dooks on Jun 13, 2008 2:50 PM CDT reply actions

My ex, and may I emphasize the ex part, wife loved that movie. Besides, Locke from Lost plays the chick’s dad. I also get nostalgic seeing the old Northstars jerseys.

by Pagan on Jun 13, 2008 3:15 PM CDT reply actions

I often wonder where I would place that flick on my list of movies that include hockey being played.

Definitely below Slapshot and Strange Brew and Youngblood and Happy Gilmore and Miracle. Probably above the Mighty Ducks movies.

by Pagan on Jun 13, 2008 3:19 PM CDT reply actions

Pagan Says: June 13th, 2008 at 12:06 pm
I heard [Kim Alexis’] vag is going to serve as one of the goals for the celebrity game.

Duguay is going to make damn sure he’s the only one scoring in it!

by Milo on Jun 13, 2008 4:36 PM CDT reply actions

Gallahger – No worries on Manny – he’s just signing autographs during the afternoon.

Pagen – where does Mystery, Alaska fall in your movie ranking? I love that movie! :)

by Diana on Jun 13, 2008 5:03 PM CDT reply actions

thank god for youtube, who would have think one of my favorite hockey movies ever would still survive in a viewable form,

p.s. not the greatest quality picture

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aaTWGcRU0js

by Childhood Trauma on Jun 13, 2008 9:19 PM CDT reply actions

That’s a great red carpet picture of Anthony Michael Hall and Amy Poehler.

by Chris Gift on Jun 14, 2008 1:00 PM CDT reply actions

Mystery, Alaska was ok. It needed more drunkenness and nudity. I mean, what’s Alaska without drunkenness and nudity? I’ll tell you what it is — Montana.

by Pagan on Jun 14, 2008 3:24 PM CDT reply actions

What will the showcase of mighty Cam Janssen yield!?!?

How soon until he passes up LaFontaine as greatest St. Louisan to play hockey? (according to John Davidson)

by Poor College Student on Jun 16, 2008 9:57 PM CDT reply actions

It isn’t a true celebrity game unless AM is playing.

by Gift on Jun 18, 2008 9:00 AM CDT reply actions

celebrity or celabacy??

by Childhood Trauma on Jun 18, 2008 11:07 AM CDT reply actions

Uncle Joey?? Jesse was the uncle, Joey was just Danny Tanner’s best friend from college, please reseach these things before talking smack about Full House. if anything you should talk about how Alanis Morisette’s song ‘You Ought to Know’ is based on him

by pmdaprat on Jun 18, 2008 4:20 PM CDT reply actions

pmdaprat, you have blown my memory circuits. You’re right, it was Uncle Jesse. I think when I did the search for a photo in the Red Wings sweater, I saw they labeled him Uncle Joey and that stuck in my mind. Oopsy.

We’ll get that fixed in the post.

by Brad Lee on Jun 19, 2008 10:54 AM CDT reply actions