Top 11 Reasons The Hawks Still Suck
by gallagher on Jan 21, 2009 11:58 AM CST
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Print11. Still in Chicago, right?
10. Even their alumni don't like them anymore.
9. Their player Ben Eager never should have dropped the ‘forcock' from the end of his name.
8. Rather than donate his long hair to help make wigs for cancer patients, Brent Sopel just weaved together his pubes for them.
7. Already know they blow.
6. Still sell Old Style at the rink, right?
5. New motto for 2009: Your Chicago Blackhawks, Respect The Suck.
4. Still got a Wirtz in charge, right?
3. Patrick Kane has dubbed himself ‘Showtime.' Blues fans have dubbed him ‘douche chills.'
2. Toews and Kane posters are huge sellers in Boys Town district.
1. Change all you want, you're still the same ol' Blackhawks.
From the 12 Fluid Ounces of Gallagher's Brain
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Several years ago...
…the NHL was going to award a franchise to Milwaukee, but decided against it. The reasoning was that, if Milwaukee got an NHL franchise, Chicago would want one, too…
B.
"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."
-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851
http://www.tomorrowsblues.net
by Tomorrows Blues on Jan 21, 2009 12:16 PM CST reply actions
We welcome fans from other teams
As long as their comments have some merit. Funny is better than unfunny. Waste of space comments like this will end up being deleted. Repeatedly worthless comments and baiting will be banned.
I’m sure the guys on SCH have the same feelings about our fans and their comments. Play it smart or you’re gone.
SWYD
Oh please
You should see some of your assbag commenters on SCH. I’m just having my fun now that they invaded our blog with senseless, poorly formulated shit-talking.
But, if you can’t let go of your blog powertrip for a couple seconds, go ahead and ban me, internet tough guy.
Jay Mariotti, ladies and gentlemen!
Let’s give him a big round of applause!
(What?! I thought ALL asshats were named that! Well son of a bitch!)
"Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." -- Vince Lombardi
(No, I'm not a Packers fan)
An example:
The theory . . . downstate Illinoisans, in general, abhor Chicagoans.
Case in point: Rod Blagojevich . . . George Ryan . . . The Daley Machine . . . Lovable Losers . . . oh, and retarded comments like this.
It’s amazing Barack Obama was able to leave town before falling face-first into this trap.
"Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." -- Vince Lombardi
(No, I'm not a Packers fan)
Not quite
Milwaukee my friend has never had an NHL team for the exact same reason Indianapolis has never had an NHL or an MLB team. A rule I like to call the 200 mile rule. Which states that in the NHL for all the Canadian teams aside from Toronto and the Chicago Black Hawks no NHL team can be with in 200 miles of the city limits of where the team is. But for the Canadian teams that rule may not apply if the team is in Canada. The reds also have this rule, that’s why Indianapolis can’t get an MLB team.
by PatsR18*andDONEwithoutCHEATING on Jan 22, 2009 1:49 PM CST up reply actions
He not only missed it . . .
but that paper plane it flew in on is on its way to the Eiffel Tower.
"Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." -- Vince Lombardi
(No, I'm not a Packers fan)
Is this doubling as a GDT?
Fuck Detroit
by Poor College Student on Jan 21, 2009 6:49 PM CST reply actions
Why the fuck is there men playing poker on FSN? That is not Blues pregame! The game had better be on at least.
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
Thinking back though...
I do remember I wasn’t able to watch the FSN Blues draft special this year because they decided my area preferred to watch the fucking Kansas City Royals. So your Cable Co might be assholes like that.
I'm on Charter.
In Edwardsville, IL. No way should my FSNMW feed be different this close to St. Louis. I am going to be royally pissed if this continues through the puck drop.
Scratch that — it’s back. I never thought I’d be this happy to see/hear Pat Parris.
Game on! No Live blog tonight? I bet it would be epicly long and surly tonight…
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
so is this the thread for the evening?
You say 'Tomato', I say 'FUCK DETROIT', so lets call the season off
Real classy writing over here.
St. Louis: The only city with enough basement-dwelling losers to have 500+ comments in a gamethread on their hockey team’s poorly written blog.
Congratulations on being the armpit of the Midwest (Gary, Indiana isn’t quite big enough to count)
As far as I can tell
You’re more than welcome to start your own blog and show us what a good writer you are.
stlouisisthearmitofthemidwest.org is still available.
SWYD
gee, I never looked at it that way before ...
but now that you’ve pointed that out, man, that changes my life …
Asshat.
.... formerly "Tim" of StLouisGameTime.com
by CrossCheckRaise on Jan 22, 2009 6:19 PM CST up reply actions
I didn’t realize I presented a unique perspective about, well, anything in that post. But please continue your attempts to make clever comments. If you’re anything like The Little Engine that Could, you’ll say something of value eventually.
well, the first rule of effective communication ...
is to know your audience.
You Ain’t It, Junior.
.... formerly "Tim" of StLouisGameTime.com
by CrossCheckRaise on Jan 22, 2009 7:58 PM CST up reply actions
Number 6...
Actually – I don’t think they sell Old Style at the UC.
And anyways – Old Style is gonna be fancy again. And at least it’s still American owned too..
something about that Old Style
it seems perfectly fine when you’re sitting in the bleachers at Wrigley. Everywhere else, not so much.
SWYD
Damn
If you like Old Style that much you had to have been drinking it when the Cubs got killed by the Dodgers in the playoffs the night Zambrano was pitching.
by PatsR18*andDONEwithoutCHEATING on Jan 22, 2009 1:44 PM CST up reply actions
LOL
One fond Cub vs Card mammary. I’m on leave from the military at the Strassenfest and the Beach Boys are playing under the Arch. Cards just lost a close one to them no good Cubbies so the crowd is in an foul mood as we walk over to listen to some music and check out the wimmens. As the first Beach Boys song ends there is a hushed moment and then goofy singer Mike Love rips the crowd for not applauding well enough. “You folks can’t even clap together right,” Love taunts.
I knew to head for cover as here came the beer and whiskey bottles raining down on the stage. Love tries to calm the crowd but it finally dawns on him he’s about to become a victim of a melee he started. Stagehands try and regain control and finally a pretty agile guy comes out and calms the crowd as bottles sail by his head. Dude looked like a chameleon with his eyeballs tracking all the flying debris headed his way. Props to him for not getting KTFO and for saving the day.
Life is relevant. You can put your hands on a hot stove and a fraction of a second seems like hours. Yet you can put your hands on a hot woman and hours seem to turn into seconds.
The only time you should drink Old Style
Is when your shit faced out of your mind.
PS.
Maybe the Cubs suck so bad, because their fans are the only ones dumb enough to drink Old Style.
Pats R 18* and DONE without CHEATING FOREVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They will never win another playoff game!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Go Colts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by PatsR18*andDONEwithoutCHEATING on Jan 25, 2009 12:51 PM CST up reply actions
Old style sucks
OHG, people are drinking Old Style and Old Style lite at Black Hawks games. Unbelievable, the all time worst beer ever created is now at Black Hawks and Cubs games. What’s next, old style at Bears and Bulls games.
And to all your University of Illinois students,
Bringing old style beer, because it’s the official beer of the Cubs to fraternity after hours for beer tickets so you can drink something else at the party isn’t cool.
by PatsR18*andDONEwithoutCHEATING on Jan 22, 2009 1:43 PM CST reply actions
Ah...
It feels good to be ruffling some (indian)feathers again. Ha, these guys get pretty serious about this stuff. Starting to remind me a bit of Detroit fans with their lack of a sense of humor, and piss poor sarcasm meters.
How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - Satchel Paige
well, every group of people
will have some that understand, and others that do not. This thor kid sounds like someone that takes shit waaaaaay to seriously and personally. We should set him up with Chris D …. it’d make a helluva PPV Cage Match.
There’s several other folks over there that “get it”. The closest comparison I can come up with is the old line about two tough guys duking it out on the ice, and then buying each other beers after the game.
Like all things, it’ll take time. We’re like mold, we grow on people….
.... formerly "Tim" of StLouisGameTime.com
by CrossCheckRaise on Jan 22, 2009 10:05 PM CST up reply actions
We don't just grow on people . . .
We grow and multiply. It’s the only way to survive.
Then again, from the GDT the SCH folks had (which, I later noticed, was simply a game preview), I think they’re multiplying by one instead of two or three like we are. Might be an effect of the Bill Wirtz ownership regime and the inability to get the stink off, which I totally understand.
By the way, I wonder if the folks at Pension Plan Puppets have this same “problem” (per se) with Ottawans, Montrealites and Buffaloogies as we seem to be having with the sudden influx of Chicago Vitriol. Since it’s not the whole lot of them, it’s not a problem to me, hence the quotes. I’ve never had a problem getting along with Blackhawks fans . . . as long as they understand that I abhor their team. Since in most cases I know they abhor MY team, everything goes smoothly. But I hate assbanditry more than I hate fans of another team.
"Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." -- Vince Lombardi
(No, I'm not a Packers fan)
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