GT Bob Plager Invitational Weekly Wrapup

by Dan. on Jan 5, 2009 8:35 PM CST

Fellow Game Timer's, welcome to the first (and possibly only) edition of the GT Bob Plager Invitational Weekly Wrapup. Being the stat whore that I've become this fantasy season, I thought it would be ~~FUCKING AMAZING~~ quasi-interesting to have a weekly summary of the league leaders in goals, assists, ~~shitty calls against the Blues~~ penalty minutes, etc. Let's get started shall we?

Alright, let's get this shiznit started. (Full stats can be found at the bottom. However, if you skip my witty commentary I will hunt your sorry ass down and force you to wear a Red Wings sweater.)

Goals

Bleeding Blue's pack of crafty puck hogs managed to slip 14 goals past opposing 'tenders this week. Which begs the question do these guys ever pass? Oh yea...I guess they do, because they also came to the show in a four-way tie for 3rd place with 22 assists. I guess they're just good or something.

Coming in a close second was Pabst Smears. Man, the images that name invokes...nice work CT. The Pabst Smears mustered 13 goals this week and were also part of the four-way tie mentioned above.

Assists

The Penis Machinists must have this guy on their team because they fucking dished it out like nobody's business, registering 27 helpers for the week. That's damn near four assists per day. Insanity.

Not slouching a bit in the "A" category was the Route 66 Racers who notched 25 assists.

Power Play Points

Ah, power play points...that wonderful stat that I wish our Blues notched on a more frequent basis (read "every game.") The Penis Machinists made it evident they are indeed the juggernaut. Bitch. Tallying a whopping 18 power play points this week, I can't help but say fuck Detroit.

The next nearest competitor...although none of us really came close, was the DookieDozen (I'm still trying to figure out if that's something similar to a baker's dozen) who put 14 PPP's on the board. And no, PPP ≠ Pension Plan Puppets.

Shots On Goal

141 shots. In one week. Those are Bonzo numbers. (Do-King you follow me on that right?) That's what Marmot's team put on net this past week. The goaltenders his team faced saw more rubber than a two-dollar whore that looks like Jessica Alba giving a half-price special. Crazily enough, for all that work to get pucks on net, the Marmot's only put up 7 goals last week.

Bleeding Blue edged out DookieDozen by one shot to squeak out 2nd place in SOG with 126.

Penalty Minutes

What a fucking bunch of hooligans. The Route 66 Racers felt shame last week. A lot of shame. Fifty-seven minutes of it to be exact. I wonder if they have any relation to the Broad Street Bullies....things that make you go "hmmm?"

The DookieDozen also fielded a team of miscreants notching fifty-four PIM's. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Goaltending

Yea...I'm just gonna lump these three stats into one field, because Pagan Puck Pounders' netminders beat all of our asses this week. Not just a little beating either. If our fantasy teams could all be encapsulated in one picture this week, this is what we'd look like. The Pagan Puck Pounders threw down for 5 wins, a 1.19 goals against average, and a .956 save percentage. And they did that using only two fucking netminders. TWO. I have three 'tenders on my roster and I STILL sometimes have trouble hitting the three game minimum. All I have to say is nice fucking drafting Pagan.

Full Stats

This table is likely to come out fucked up looking but here goes nothing. In no particular order:

1/4/2009	G	A	PIM	PPP	SOG	W	GAA	SV%
The Fantasy Files	9	12	50	6	106	3	2.46	0.924
The Penis Machinists	12	27	30	18	121	2	3.61	0.892
The Skywalkers	8	14	32	9	99	3	3.01	0.909
Route 66 Racers	8	25	57	8	113	4	1.32	0.949
Pabst Smears	13	22	38	11	106	2	3.2	0.883
Don Buster Cherries	8	20	23	9	87	3	3.46	0.888
Weiner Cleaners	10	14	38	11	92	1	2.48	0.923
F*** Detroit	11	22	24	11	111	2	1.64	0.94
Matt Walker Hat Trick	10	14	44	12	102	2	3.37	0.88
Pagan Puck Pounders	12	17	41	12	121	5	*1.19*	*0.956*
BlueNote Express	5	6	19	4	85	1	2.99	0.891
DookieDozen	12	19	54	14	125	3	2.7	0.906
Bleeding Blue	14	22	44	9	126	3	2.51	0.918
Lehigh River Ferries	7	22	37	12	114	2	2.59	0.921
Hombres de cavernas	11	14	31	9	101	2	3.09	0.901
Marmots	7	20	24	7	*141*	3	2.66	0.919
Golf Cart Polo Champs	11	21	20	12	111	1	3.24	0.893
The Ragin' Asians	6	18	20	7	89	1	2.5	0.936

Poll

Do Pagan Puck Pounder's netminders have force fields?

Without a doubt

0 votes

No, they sold their souls to the Devil for goaltending ability

3 votes

Who cares? Fuck Detroit.

15 votes

18 votes | Poll has closed

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Comments

In unrelated news

All I have to say is BOOYAAAA! I won the “Twas The Night Before Christmas Contest.” Two tickets fo’ me! :D

by Dan. on Jan 5, 2009 9:48 PM CST reply actions

Do you remember the answers? I entered. Guess I didn’t win.

by Brad Lee on Jan 6, 2009 1:20 PM CST up reply actions

I think it was…Janssen, Berglund, Boyes, Jackman, Hinote, Tkachuk.

by Dan. on Jan 6, 2009 7:52 PM CST up reply actions

The Route 66 Racers...

…did pretty good in the goaltending department last week, too.

4 wins, 1.32 GAA, .949 save percentage would rule on most any other week.

“Get your kicks on Route 66…”

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://www.tomorrowsblues.net

by Tomorrows Blues on Jan 6, 2009 11:10 AM CST reply actions

My apologies

To Da Bears. His team also kicked ass in the goaltending department last week. I can’t believe I missed that. Thanks for the heads up Brian.

by Dan. on Jan 6, 2009 7:59 PM CST up reply actions

'Da Bears' is me...

…just so ya know.

Sorry; most of my family was born in, or lives in/near, Chicago, so I’ve always been a Bears’ fan. i root for the Cards and the White Sox, too, though, just to drive all the Cub fans in my family nuts…

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://www.tomorrowsblues.net

by Tomorrows Blues on Jan 7, 2009 4:45 PM CST up reply actions

You sneaky monkey. I was kind of wondering who Da Bears was, since I’d never seen a “Da Bears” on SLGT. The Bears are pretty fun to watch sometimes. I loved watching their ALL-defensive comeback against Arizona last year. Haha, 4 touchdowns, and not a single one scored by the Bears offense. That was a great game.

by Dan. on Jan 7, 2009 5:23 PM CST up reply actions