A Hot And Itchy Late Night Poll

but what band did you see?

But I do remember going down to the Monday clap call at the base clinic to see who was going to get their dick painted purple. They painted the dicks purple of those who had the drip or rash so the hookers wouldn’t touch them. Looked like the same dye they use in those exploding money packs at bank robberies. Coming home to the wife with a painted protuberance made for some funny shit. Imagine sandpapering your hootus so the old lady wouldn’t know. Dayum, I’m about to pass out just thinking about that shit.

One time my whole face broke out in some kinda of sick rash. It wasn’t itchy but it burned like a motherfucker when exposed to heat and sunlight. The rash looked sorta like a hybrid of pimples and poison ivy. It was fucking gross and I basically looked like a mutated monster. I was in fourth grade at the time, and I remember looking in the mirror and bursting into tears because it was so hideous. Then my tears made my face burn even more… so I stopped crying.

This wasn’t a rash per say, but one time a few years ago I had some really bad acne on my back and chest. So I searched the house for my prescription acne medication, I couldn’t find mine so I used my sister’s. Without reading the expiration date, I liberally applied the stuff all over my back and chest. The next morning I awoke in terrible pain. I took off my pajama shirt to get dressed when I saw it. My chest and back were completely covered in open sores. The expired acne medication basically chemically burned my pimples off leaving open sores. I couldn’t go to school that day because it was too painful to wear a shirt.

And speaking of chemical burns… one day one of my contacts fell out so I asked my friend for some contact solution. Without reading the label, I rinsed out my contact with the stuff and stuck it in my eye. It was fucking old-fashioned contact cleaner. It burned my eye so bad it nearly blinded it.

Needless to say, I always read the label and expiration dates on things now.