Blues Kill Anaheim; Ducks Fans Demand Reverse Tacos

OK, so technically it's Big Macs now, but excuse us for not putting the McDowell's Faticizer Burger in our headline.

We'd love to break this one down in excruciating detail, but the fact of the matter is that it's Saturday night and we have more drinking to do. And you're likely passed out or going out, depending on your age/intake. So bullet-point style it must be.

  • Oshie finally gets off the schniede by kicking deflecting in his first goal. Deflecting. Yeah. Sure. But you know what? Sometimes weird plays get you out of slumps (ask Mark Grace), so we'll take it and we hope this means that it won't be long before the fans are chanting his name in unison again.
  • Speaking of chanting, we'd almost forgotten how bad Paul Kariya dirty-dicked Anaheim until the crowd booed the shit out of him all night. We took two things away from this: 1). it brought back the memory of how bad we'd hate a great fan-favorite player if he was not qualified as a restricted free agent in order to negotiate with him a new, more cap-friendly contract only to have him then flip a bird and roll out of town and 2). it's quite impressive that the fans continue to remember this, boo the shit out of him and keep it up even after their team is down by four late in the third period. Color us impressed.
  • Andy McDonald makes Brad Lee look like a witch with his impressive night. That dude is getting better somehow, right? He didn't even get drafted. In any of the nine rounds. In any of the three years he was eligible. Silly.
  • Speaking of McDonald, that second goal was poetry. And not just poetry, but more like poetry fucking a beautiful painting, while listening to some classical music.
  • On a related note, Darren Pang reacted to the goal with a, "holy jumpin'!" So we can all get used to hearing a lot of that. We love Panger, but that might just get a little old. On the other hand, as the wife pointed out correctly, "Holy jumpin' is all he's got. He sure can't use your 'poetry' analogy."
  • Erik Johnson will be running for mayor at some point in his career, bank on it.
  • There is a 50/50 chance that Carlo Colaiacovo is leaving St. Louis this summer as a free agent. If he does, there is a 100% chance that he talks about how St. Louis resurrected his career for the rest of his life.
  • Chris Mason thinks Ty Conklinis an awesome guy to be his netminding partner. For now.
  • David Perron is the new Brad Boyes. Hit the 4x6, Frenchie. Hit the 4x6.
  • Brad Boyes is the new Alex Steen. He did a great job of putting the puck on net and his on-ice vision was great. His pass to McDonald that started the poetry fucking art while listening to a maestro was pin-point, picture-perfect and some other cliche we can't come up with all in one.
  • Keith Tkachuk's spin-o-rama move in the third period must have been done to win a bet. Nothing else makes sense.

Blues travel to Pittsburgh for a game against the Pens Tuesday. If this team shows up for that game, expect all your lame-ass friends to jump back on the bandwagon.

[Unofficial catalogue of reasons why this post will not be linked on sbnation.com or anywhere else on 'The Network': weird McDowells' reference not good for business; two allusions to drinking alcohol; slumpbuster reference; "dirty-dicked"; three references to porn-style action of art on art while listening to art; 1 shit, 2 fucks and 1 ass; a massive conspiracy aligned against us.]

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