Memo From Andy Murray To Dirty NHL Players

Dear Players With Questionable NHL Talent,

After our game with Dallas Saturday night, I wanted to set the record straight with all you cement heads who sit at the end of the bench most of the night. I understand your role in the game and the fact that you're trying to provide for yourself and your family like the rest of us. I get it. But the next time I see an asshole like Steve Ott come after my boys, I am going to lose my shit.

After Ott helped the Stars push my team around, I'm slightly afraid that other teams are going to employ a similar strategy. The rest of the leagues know we have a lot of skilled young players. D.J. King can't stay healthy so we can only rely on Cam Janssen to be the enforcer with a little help from Tyson Strachan and David Backes. That's it. Not good.

You want to be an agitator? Fine, just keep it legal. You want to be an enforcer? Then you drop the gloves with the guys that are paid to do it and are willing just like you. But when you cross the line and play with intent to injure or drop the gloves with young guys who haven't had an NHL fight, you're just being a dick.

All I can promise is that if you don't watch your play on the ice, you'll have me to answer to off it. And please understand, I'm as serious as a motherfucking heart attack.