Hey Andy, how's it going? Got a second? Great, great. Hey, why don't we just sit down for a minute in my office? Great. Yeah, just a little more comfortable in here; more private.
Um, could you close the door, too? Perfect.
Whew. What a day, huh? Have a seat, yeah, right there, get comfortable. Can I get you anything? Water? Soda? No? Protein bar? These things are great... yeah they do taste better now than a couple years, don't they? Yeah.
Listen, Andy, I don't really know how to say this, so I'm just going to say it. I'm not sure this relationship is working out. No, no, let me finish. I just have a couple things I have to get out there, OK? It's just that, well, at the start, when we first got together, it was like chocolate sex money; all the best things wrapped up together, you know? We just, just... It was like we just got each other, right? Like everything you did was magic and everything clicked when we worked together.
And then it got better. And then better. And then last year, after our rocky patch, we were just in stride. It was the wildest ride I'd ever been on, and I'm sure it was for you, too. Those were great times we had together and I'll cherish them forever. I hope you will too.
But I think you'll agree that things have been different between us lately, Andy. I mean I know you feel it too. We've just gotten more distant and we don't seem to be on the same, you know, the same... I guess you'd call it level or wavelength or vibe or something. And don't get me wrong, because I'm not saying this is all your fault. In fact, most of it is me. You know I've just... I've just changed since last year. It happens to even the best of relationships, Andy. My expectations have changed. My needs are different. I need to see more goals. And more wins. The playoffs shouldn't be a goal now, Andy, they should be the norm.
Sometimes I just don't know that we have the same goals and expectations anymore, Andy.
And, well, there's more. Some of this is about the kids, too, Andy. You don't see the toll this is taking on them. I just feel like the pressure you're putting on them, all the hard-guy tactics, they're fine as motivators in the short term, Andy, but after a while they bark has to have some bite, or everyone ignores the annoying old barky dog.
The constant playing with their emotions and switching their lines around, Andy, it's just not... it's just not fair to the kids. They're just kids, Andy, and kids need consistency. They need to know what is expected of them and they need to have it be consistent and fair. Kids want rules and structure, Andy. It keeps them balanced and and it keeps them emotionally sound. Unfortunately, the deterioration of our relationship is having a negative impact on all of them, and it's just not right.
Andy, I said it before and I mean it, this isn't about you, it's about me. I'm the one who has changed. You're the same, but the same just isn't doing it for me anymore. The same isn't doing it for us, Andy. And I have to think about myself and the kids in this situation.
It's just so hard for me to say the words, Andy, but they have to be said: It's over, Andy. You and me and you and the kids, it's just... it's just over. I need you to be a man about this, too. Let's leave it on good terms, you go say your goodbyes to the kids, but know for a fact that this is it; this is the end.
It's been great, Andy, and I'll always speak of you fondly, but we're through. We'll always have last spring, won't we? Of course we will. I mean it, I want to thank you for everything, I really appreciate it and I want to wish you the best of luck in everything you do, OK?
Wanna have a hug? OK, there, there. That's good stuff. Alright. Whew. You need a tissue or anything? No? Alright then.
Whew. OK. That's it then, right?
Alright. Goodbye, Andy.