Top 11 David Backes Facts
Answer Man suggested in a recent SLGT thread that a Top 11 David Backes Facts should show up in a future Game Time edition, and that I should write it. I thought this was a good enough idea for a FanPost, but I figured . . . if it was going to happen, it was going to happen with ORIGINAL content, not totally rehashed Chuck Norris or Bill Brasky Facts.
If the SLGT "Higher-Up's" would like to publish this in a future edition . . . hey, knock yourselves out!
And so I present to you . . . the Top 11 Facts About David Backes . . . after the jump.
11. David Backes thinks the Detroit Red Wings are gay. Well, he's kinda normal like that.
10. Chuck Norris, Vin Diesel, Mr. T and Superman all wear David Backes pajamas.
9. The pilot for the TV show "The Unit" was nothing but a chronicle of David Backes' penis.
8. David Backes' facial hair is considered currency in Cote d'Ivoire.
7. Clint Malarchuk is forever thankful that it was Steve Tuttle who put a skate blade into his neck on that nearly-fateful night in Buffalo. Clint knows this because had it been David Backes, poor Clint's body would have simply exploded on impact.
6. David Backes is 1/4th Chippewa. He wasn't born that way . . . the dude fucking ate Central Michigan University whole.
5. Chet Ripley (played by John Candy) ate "The Ol' 96er" in the movie "The Great Outdoors". David Backes' pregame meal involves eating a whole cow. Fuck you, John Candy . . . but may you rest in peace. (Fixed. Thanks Dooks!)
4. David Backes wears a visor on his helmet not for eye protection, but as a tool to collect opposing players' blood to complete his Annihilation 3000 death robot prototype.
3. David Backes doesn't cross-check other players. Other players' bodies run into David Backes' stick.
2. During David Backes' youth, Barclay Plager's ghost visited the Backes home and patted young David on the shoulder. We now know that moment as "The Death Notice To The Rest Of The NHL".
1. David Backes is God's apology for allowing the Chicago Blackhawks to happen.
-- TCA
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That's what I love about this website
you always learn new things
problem with #5…. it should read: “Chet Ripley (played by John Candy) ate "The Ol’ 96er” in the movie “The Great Outdoors”.
Y'know what?
You’re right. I get my John Candy movies mixed up.
That shall be fixed.
"Leaders are made, they are not born. They are made by hard effort, which is the price which all of us must pay to achieve any goal that is worthwhile." -- Vince Lombardi
(No, I'm not a Packers fan)
David Backes does not go hunting.
The word “hunting” implies the possibility of failure.
David Backes goes killing.
B.
"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."
-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851
http://www.tomorrowsblues.net
by Tomorrows Blues on Feb 17, 2009 9:26 AM CST reply actions
Mayor Slay proposed a bill to rename Clark Street to David Backes Avenue, but it was voted down for fear of massive casualties. Because no one crosses David Backes and lives.
"Attaway to stomp 'em. Stomp the piss out of 'em. Stomp 'em when they're down. Kick 'em and stomp 'em. Attaway to go boys. Pound that old Budweiser into you and go get them tomorrow." -- Joe Schultz
In case you guys missed it, we used this on Monday night.
Look at the Rangers issue back on page 22 or 23.
It takes a village, people. Thanks for your help.
SWYD
DK,
Congrats on the GT mention!
Fuck Detroit
by Poor College Student on Feb 17, 2009 4:59 PM CST up reply actions
Downloaded and had yet to read it.
Thanks dude! Great stuff!
"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive." -- W.C. Fields































