The Hockey Prof

by Rich of GASL on Feb 27, 2009 8:11 AM CST

Let me introduce myself…

My name is Rich Horton. I was born and raised in St. Louis, though I now find myself living in the wilds of west central Wisconsin, teaching political science and philosophy. (Hey, they make cheese and brew beer here…. How bad could it be?) In order to keep my St. Louis sports connections lively, I’ve been writing a sports blog called (Get) A Sporting Life for over two years now. (Shit, that’s actually true. I looked it up.)

Apparently in a fit of absentmindedness, the St. Louis Game Time crew has invited me to contribute to whatever the hell you call this Sodom and Gomorrah of a website, and quicker than you can say "Greg Paslawski" I accepted. To that end I am adopting the nom de guerre "The Hockey Prof." However, I am not to be confused with Ron "The Professor" Caron, even though there are disturbing similarities in our respective histories. For example…

The Professor: Born in Canada.

The Hockey Prof: Once ate a falafel in Toronto.

The Professor: Won six Stanley Cups in Montreal as Assistant GM.

The Hockey Prof: Once tied for fifth in his hockey fantasy league.

The Professor: Once exclaimed, "[Wendell] Clark, I’ll attend your fucking funeral!"

The Hockey Prof: Exclaimed multiple times, "I fucking hate Wendell Clark!"

The Professor: Once traded for Garth Butcher.

The Hockey Prof: Took up drinking because The Professor traded for Garth Butcher.

The Professor: Known for going nuclear in the owners box whenever a shitty call went against the Blues, delighting fans who appreciated his passion.

The Hockey Prof: Known for going nuclear in his living room whenever a shitty call goes against the Blues, pissing off his wife who would appreciate it if he just shut the fuck up.

The Professor: Correctly predicted pudgy underachiever Brett Hull would become an NHL star.

The Hockey Prof: Correctly predicted Lisa Matthews (Miss April) would be Playboy Playmate of the Year for 1990.

See? It’s downright scary.

The plan is for me to contribute my lucid and well thought out observations, which may come in the form of hysterical diatribes, every Friday between now and the Second Coming… Or sometime thereabouts.

Thanks to the SLGT gang for inviting me aboard. Whatever happens, it should be fun… or horrifying... or both.

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Prof, welcome. I hope you enjoy the awkward hugs especially from Gift and Brad Lee.

Strike one- seems like you have talked down about Garth Butcher. He is AM’s all time favorite player but I respect opinions. Just please tell me you don’t like Goalies.

Good Day

Beating Me Is Tougher Then A Dog In A Bathtub. Confused? Check out this link for an explanation:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dog%20In%20A%20Bath%20Tub

by Answer Man on Feb 27, 2009 8:34 AM CST reply actions

Just so you know...

I like goalies.

And Euros.

;-D

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://www.tomorrowsblues.net

by Tomorrows Blues on Feb 27, 2009 8:49 AM CST up reply actions

Well....

There is still a part of me that likes Mike Liut.

Other then that, I’m solid.

by Rich of GASL on Feb 27, 2009 8:57 AM CST up reply actions

We're good then...

Have a well dressed day

Beating Me Is Tougher Then A Dog In A Bathtub. Confused? Check out this link for an explanation:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dog%20In%20A%20Bath%20Tub

by Answer Man on Feb 27, 2009 9:54 AM CST up reply actions

Welcome aboard Hockey M.S.. If there are any openings for another Prof of Pol Sci / Philosopy in your neck of the woods, let me know.

I hope you enjoy the awkward hugs especially from Gift and Brad Lee.

I hear one of those two may try to cup you buttocks during said hug….

/Touche’ for the “illicit things with animals” blast, Mr. Lee

Let's go Blues!!!

by Milo. on Feb 27, 2009 11:57 AM CST up reply actions

Fat chance....

….do you realize how many people I had to sleep with to get this job?

Besides, how do I know you’re my type?

by Rich of GASL on Feb 27, 2009 4:20 PM CST up reply actions

Uhhhhh…

Didn’t realize you had a casting couch.

/I’m not your type:

Let's go Blues!!!

by Milo. on Feb 27, 2009 5:33 PM CST up reply actions

The Professor: Known for going nuclear in the owners box whenever a shitty call went against the Blues, delighting fans who appreciated his passion.

~~The Hockey Prof~~Game Time Prospect Department: Known for going nuclear in his living room whenever a shitty call goes against the Blues, pissing off his wife who would appreciate it if he would just shut the fuck up.

Quoted and modified for agreement.

Good call on Lisa Matthews, too…

Welcome aboard, Prof.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://www.tomorrowsblues.net

by Tomorrows Blues on Feb 27, 2009 8:48 AM CST reply actions

The Professor: Known for going nuclear in the owners box whenever a shitty call went against the Blues, delighting fans who appreciated his passion.

The Hockey ProfGame Time Prospect Department: Known for going nuclear in his living room whenever a shitty call goes against the Blues, pissing off his wife who would appreciate it if he would just shut the fuck up.

~~The Hockey Prof Game Time Prospect Department~~ RFJCC: Know for going nuclear in his dorm when the Blues piss away a 3rd period lead, pissing of all those who are forced to dodge flying shoes, chairs, small tv’s,books and fists.

DOUBLE FIXED!!!

You say 'Tomato', I say 'FUCK DETROIT', so lets call the season off

by RFJCC on Feb 27, 2009 11:05 AM CST up reply actions

I think this is going to be a great fit.

And any of you who haven’t been over to the GASL site should definitely make it one of your regular stops.

Welcome Rich, looking forward to Fridays even more now.

SWYD

by gallagher on Feb 27, 2009 9:16 AM CST reply actions

Boss

Does this mean I can sleep more?

www.stlouisgametime.com

by Brad Lee on Feb 27, 2009 9:27 AM CST up reply actions

No.

No it does not.

SWYD

by gallagher on Feb 27, 2009 9:28 AM CST up reply actions

Good to see G still running a tight ship

Beating Me Is Tougher Then A Dog In A Bathtub. Confused? Check out this link for an explanation:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dog%20In%20A%20Bath%20Tub

by Answer Man on Feb 27, 2009 9:54 AM CST up reply actions

Nice

I like you Rich and what you have to say in general. Enjoyed your first article. If I weren’t so young at the time I too would have been drinking after the infamous Vancouver trade.

Get ready for the infamous Pronger deal coming in the next few days.

by Henry Miller's Used Penis on Feb 27, 2009 12:21 PM CST reply actions