11. If you like rape and murder, welcome home!

10. Major corporations available for $20 OBO

9.  I'd turn the fuck around if I were you

8.  If you can read this your wallet was just stolen

7.  Home to the country's only minor league football team

6.  More suck per capita than any other city in the U.S.

5.  Our pitcher's still can't throw anyone out

4.  Still your best chance to get hepatitis

3.  Hey remember Motown?  That was great right?  RIGHT?!

2.  We love our sports teams no matter what (as long as they are winning)

1. Because God needed to take a shit