Blues in BC Tonight: Your Creepy Canucks Primer
by gallagher on Mar 19, 2009 3:00 PM CDT
Email
PrintIt's hard to keep track of what the hell is going on in that weird Northwest Division. So many far-flung places located in so-called provinces like British Columbia (does still England still own that?) Alberta and Minnesota.
About the only way we can keep them straight is by simple memory devices. Today we introduce you to tonight's opponent: The Creepy Canucks. What do we mean? well, check out Exhibit A, the Sedin Twins.
I'll do it if you do it. You just go first.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And if that isn't enough to prove the point, we present to you Mats Sundin, who once frightened Frankenstein's monster and Olli Jokinen on the same day:
Gah! That thing looks like it got hit by a truck. Plus he's got a black eye.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
But the Creepy Canucks have so much more than just a trio of creepy Swedes. They've got five creepy Swedes:
Mama Mia, that's one big baked potato! From left: Mattias Ohlund, Alexander Edler, Daniel and Henrik Sedin, Mats Sundin.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Not convinced yet? You may have heard that Canucks goalie/captain Roberto Luongo was something of a heart-throb among female puckbunny types. That, friends, is incorrect:
Bobby Lou does his impression of Elaine Benes' impression of a fax machine, "Eeeeee-yaaaaah!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
And finally, if that isn't enough proof, just look what they've done to a former Blue, Pavol Demitra. Remember this fresh-faced youngster?
Well get a load of what happened to him when he went to the Creepy Canucks:
It's a monster! A monster! And it's coming right at us! RUN! RUUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Pavs can't be too hoppy about that one. His agent needs to get him out of Vancouver before he ends up looking like this:
Time for your SAT question: Sami Salo is to creepy as:
a) dudes with custom vans are to serial killers.
b) that guy in your neighborhood with the telephoto lens is to pedophiles.
c) men using the internet at public libraries are to public masturbators.
d) all of the above.
37 comments
|
2 recs |
Do you like this story?
Comments
D
"Brad Winchester playing on a line with Perron and Berglund is like the fat kid who you invite to play one day because you didn't have enough skaters, yet you don't have the heart to tell them to leave the next few times you play. Damn you Andy Murray." -Author Unknown
Thread Of The Year!!!
I give it 4 BBLLLEEAAARRRGGGGs and a fanny pack.
Outstanding.
Beating Me Is Tougher Then A Dog In A Bathtub. Confused? Check out this link for an explanation:
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Dog%20In%20A%20Bath%20Tub
I'm not sure which photo disturbed the most.
It’s a tie between Luongo and ABBA.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
Wow, just wow
Bravo, man. Creepy level off the charts.
… oh, and I vote D.
Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.
Have you seen the Canucks team bus?
"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept." - Doug Larson
That didn't work. Here it is.
"Ice hockey is a form of disorderly conduct in which the score is kept." - Doug Larson
Are we taking a field trip tonight?
That ABBA picture was…wow, just wow. The foil on the guys was just creepy.
The Blues have to come out banging the Sedin twins.
I think the time for friendly visits have passed. Everyone should be inclined to hunker down for the stretch with their own. Unless the NHL decides to replace our final game against the Red Wings with one against the Sharks…then I’m all for a field trip.
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
Woah, that is creepy.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Mar 19, 2009 4:56 PM CDT up reply actions
Shall I start the campaign comparing the Sedins to South Park's Hardly Boys?
“I’ve got a MAJOR clue.”
“Which was is your clue pointing? My clue is pointing over there.”
“I just got clue-goo all over me.”
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
I'll play along...
“Ya, I’ve got a raaaaaging clue!”
by Cornwallis Hankey on Mar 19, 2009 7:37 PM CDT up reply actions
Check out the Canucks Jackass Blogger on Hockeybuzz... He should be beheaded for taking shots at the King Oshie!
"Brad Winchester playing on a line with Perron and Berglund is like the fat kid who you invite to play one day because you didn't have enough skaters, yet you don't have the heart to tell them to leave the next few times you play. Damn you Andy Murray." -Author Unknown
http://www.hockeybuzz.com/blog/Peter-Tessier/Still-going/119/20136
"Brad Winchester playing on a line with Perron and Berglund is like the fat kid who you invite to play one day because you didn't have enough skaters, yet you don't have the heart to tell them to leave the next few times you play. Damn you Andy Murray." -Author Unknown
You're all going to regret harping on the Swedes
And in a few hours I’m gonna come back and gloat like the vile troll that I am! Mua ha ha ha!
The “mua ha ha ha” is a sure sign of your evilness, isn’t it. Just spare us the Doomsday device! And don’t forget – as much as you’re tempted, NEVER prematurely divulge your master plan because it’s a sure bet your scheme will then be foiled at the zero-hour.
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
It involves a nuclear weapon, an ice cream truck, and a remote device in the top drawer of this desk.
I can tell you this because you’re too late to stop it.
Go Canucks Go! :-)
Ooh, I'm digging that .gif you've got there.
Does a similar Blues one exist?
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
Oooooh SHINY
This is the best I can do for now. I’ll keep searching and see if I can find one. Surely it exists out there somewhere…
Step 1: You cut a whole in the box...
But, a-joe, it’s in 3-d………….ish.
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
I think the British named B.C. and then forgot about it.
It’s a good place though. Let’s see a Missouri landscape compared to this:
FUCK DETROIT AND FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS
Life is relevant. You can put your hands on a hot stove and a fraction of a second seems like hours. Yet you can put your hands on a hot woman and hours seem to turn into seconds.
Smack talk from middle management?
I can’t wait for the game to start. Where is the GDT? Oh wait, I need to post it.
www.stlouisgametime.com
Just a hypothetical here...
Obviously, downtown is the best place for a sports venue, but if a team – say the Blues or Cards – had to relocate to another area of the city/count/Illinois-side, what would be the best location. I, for one, could see a n old-style Cards stadium in South City. Just has the right feeling to it.
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
"Beat shut" I believe they call that.
Put a raccoon to shame.
Life is relevant. You can put your hands on a hot stove and a fraction of a second seems like hours. Yet you can put your hands on a hot woman and hours seem to turn into seconds.
"Domestic" ???
He’s a Swede, working in Canada.. There’s nothing domestic aboot it ….
.... formerly "Tim" of StLouisGameTime.com
by CrossCheckRaise on Mar 20, 2009 12:02 AM CDT up reply actions
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanShots
Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.
Recent FanShots
In Association With
Latest Puck Daddy - NHL from Yahoo! Sports
- 2013 Winter Classic plan revealed; college, OHL games included
- Puck Daddy Hockey Rumors Live Chat!
- Rangers, Devils remind us why NHL coaches’ challenges are a necessity
- Max Pacioretty’s bond with formerly comatose teen changes outlook on life
- Goofy KHL goal celebration alert: Andrey Stepanov scores, slides and poses (Video)
Certain photos copyright © 2012 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
