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Blues Pre-Game Inspirational Speeches

With just nine games left on the schedule for the St. Louis Blues, we've asked a few folks to come in and give the team some inspiration. And as a special treat, we'll let you inside the dressing room to hear the words for yourself. Before tonight's game against the Vancouver Canucks, we've arranged for a professional motivational speaker.

Matt_foley_medium

Introducting Matt Foley.

Hello there. My name is Matt Foley. I am a motivational speaker. As your coach probably told you, I'm here to make sure you guys don't screw up tonight. First of all, you should know a little bit about me.

I am 35 years old, I am thrice divorced...and I live in a van down by the River Des Peres. Now you may be asking yourself why a guy who looks like me is talking to a bunch of guys who look like you. Shut your pie holes for a minute and I'll tell you why.

If you don't win tonight against the Vancouver Canucks, your whole season could amount to JACK SQUAT! You're two points out of the playoffs right now. La-de-frickin'-dah! Let's have a party for being close to eighth place. I'll bring the used piñata! Right now, being close to the playoffs doesn't mean anything.

Oh sure, you're driving around in your expensive cars, eating at nice restaurants and sleeping in your million dollar homes with comfortable beds with no fear of river snakes. But if you don't hit those Canucks in the face and play hard tonight...well then you might as well move into a VAN DOWN BY THE RIVER! And where will you be then? I'll tell you. You'll be on a steady diet of government cheese and used Pall Malls wondering what happened to your shattered life. Trust me, you don't want that.

(leans forward, squinting)

I can't see too good. The guy with all the goalie equipment over there, is that Martin Broduer? NO! It's Chris frickin' Mason! That guy can't do it by himself. He needs help. Asking him to win the game by himself against Vancouver is like asking a guy who lives in a van down by the river to have a meaningful relationship with a woman who isn't a hooker.

Now you Blues players, I want you to get fired up. I want you excited. You can beat these Canucks. You can check those Swedish twins and keep them off the scoreboard. You can make something of your season. And if you lose tonight, I might have to move in with you to make sure you learn your lesson. My bags are packed. If you don't want that, then go out there and kick some ass! Let's go!

(turns to run towards door, collides with folding table breaking it in two)


0 recs  |  Comment 20 comments |

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EXCEPTIONAL.

Well, I’m officially motivated. Let’s hope somebody at the rink has his iPhone on and is passing this around to the players.

I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.

by TheDuke32 on Mar 26, 2009 11:49 AM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Brilliant...

Just fucking brilliant…

Brian, you do realize, if the Blues win again tonight, this is a must do piece every game….
I hope you have long sleepless hours thinking this kind of shit up….

Now, just for the record:
Fuck Detroit.

by DanGNR on Mar 26, 2009 12:04 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I AM MATT FOLEY . . . AND I AM A MOTIVATIONAL SPEAKER!!!!!

That NEVER gets old.

LET’S GO BLUES!!!!!

"The world is getting to be such a dangerous place, a man is lucky to get out of it alive." -- W.C. Fields

by Donut King on Mar 26, 2009 12:12 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Fuck Yeah!!!

I see you got my suggestion from over at the Asylum…

BRILLIANT!!!!

Yeah, there were horses, and a man on fire, and I killed a guy with a trident.

by HuntsvilleBlues on Mar 26, 2009 12:18 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Walt Speaks....

Once more into the crease, dear friends, once more;
Or litter the ice with our St. Louis dead.
In the pre-season there’s nothing so becomes a man
As modest stillness and humility,
Though picking up a check at dinner now and then helps as well:
But when the blast of the playoffs blows in our ears,
Then imitate the action of the tiger;
Stiffen the sinews, summon up the blood,
Get those brass knuckles out of hock,
Disguise fair nature with hard-favour’d rage;
Then lend the eye a terrible aspect;
I didn’t mean you Steen, you’re scary enough already;
Let pry through the portage of the head
Like the brass cannon;
(I’m not sure what that means exactly,
But it certainly sounds cool or painful);
Let the brow o’erwhelm it
As fearfully as doth a galled rock
O’erhang and jutty his confounded base,
Swill’d with the wild and wasteful ocean.
I forget, was that a metaphor or a simile?
Now set the teeth and stretch the nostril wide,
Imagine you are roasting Towel Boy over a spit,
Hold hard the breath and bend up every spirit
To his full height. On, on, you noblest Blues.
Whose blood is fet from players of seven game series-proof!
Gamers that, like so many Brian Sutters,
Have in these parts from morn till even fought,
Checked, skated, high-sticked, roughed,
And mocked their foes for lack of argument:
Dishonour not your mothers; now attest
That those whom you call’d fathers did beget you.
(Someone explain that to Berglund.)
Be copy now to men of grosser blood,
Like Perron here, or Crombeen
And teach them how to war. And you, good skaters,
Whose limbs were made in Canada, Europe or the States, show us here
The mettle of your pasture; let us swear
That you are worth your daddy not pulling out when he had the chance;
Which I doubt not;
Really, I doubt it not; forget I ever mentioned it:
For there is none of you so mean and base,
That hath not noble lustre in your eyes,
Except for maybe you Cam.
I see you stand like greyhounds in the slips,
Like the SLGT crew when the beer vendor wanders by,
Straining upon the start. The game’s afoot:
Follow your spirit, and upon this charge
Cry ‘God for Davidson, the Blues, and Saint Louis!’

(Alright…I’m now officially Shakespeared out.)

by Rich of GASL on Mar 26, 2009 12:20 PM CDT reply actions   1 recs

(Someone explain that to Berglund.)

hahaha amazing.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 26, 2009 12:58 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Now that

that is difficult.

www.stlouisgametime.com

by Brad Lee on Mar 26, 2009 1:16 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Actually, it takes something like 20 minutes to write. It helps when you are just stealing re-purposing someone else’s work.

If they win tonight I’ve got a third one ready to go.

by Rich of GASL on Mar 26, 2009 1:34 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

That you are worth your daddy not pulling out when he had the chance;

A variation of this makes for good on-ice trash talk.

Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Mar 26, 2009 2:39 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Next Speech

I say Blutos speech from Animal House

You say 'Tomato', I say 'FUCK DETROIT', so lets call the season off

by RFJCC on Mar 26, 2009 12:21 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

I always liked the one Bill Pullman gave in "Independence Day"

But I’m not nearly creative enough to retro-fit it for the Blues’ playoff chase.

by Washoo on Mar 26, 2009 12:30 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

It can be done

Annhilation becomes elimination, Blues from around the world, etc. I hope Brad does it.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 26, 2009 1:01 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

If only we had a game left against Anaheim...

“Niedermeyers…!!!!!!”

“DEAD!!!!! Bluto’s right…”

I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.

by TheDuke32 on Mar 26, 2009 3:12 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Awesome

I love these and Matt Foley is such a perfect one. I can’t believe I never thought of it.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 26, 2009 12:58 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

Thanks.

We try. Not every idea works, but this one is going well so far. Now if they somehow fall out of contention…well that’s when this thing will get interesting.

The funny part is that since this is the last game of the regular season against a Canadian team, I was going to do Sheila Broslovsky from South Park talking about those Canadians with their beady little eyes and flapping heads…until I realized that the Canadian guys on the team might make that one a little awkward.

www.stlouisgametime.com

by Brad Lee on Mar 26, 2009 1:15 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Its too bad we weren’t play the Canadians….it would have worked then!

by Rich of GASL on Mar 26, 2009 1:31 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Well, it looks like it works!

hahaha the South Park one would have worked.

Looking forward to the next one.

Pension Plan Puppets: A Toronto Maple Leafs blog and a group therapy session.

by PPP on Mar 26, 2009 10:47 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Dude

That was Chris Osgood letting in that goal. Everyone knows he was a spy for Detroit. Search Chris Osgood spy on this site and you’ll see what I mean.

www.stlouisgametime.com

by Brad Lee on Mar 26, 2009 5:50 PM CDT up reply actions   0 recs

Europe in da house..!

Yep, I have to work very early tommorow, that means I have to be awake very early.. So that means as well that I can stay up and watch (have to find a live stream yet) or listen in again since my return home to Europe from the USA.

So expect me to be in the GDT tonight! Even though is seven %&% hours later here. Oh well, even in Europe a fan will do everything for a play-off berth lol…

See ya tonight amigo’s

The Netherlands may be famous for its capital Amsterdam... But there are St. Louis Blues fans as well... ME! Cya.

AND SUBJECT OF A STORY IN GAMETIME..... GREAT :)

by FanFromEurope on Mar 26, 2009 4:38 PM CDT reply actions   0 recs

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