The scene is Chicago. In a dirty meeting room in a building hidden down a dingy back alley people are gathering. They come in one's and two's, waiting until the door is closed before they acknowledge their comrades with their salute; "Fuck Detroit." This is a dangerous business carried on under the noses of their enemies deep in the heart of a hostile land. But rumor has brought them here despite the risks, to hear the words of their prophet. Word is the man known simply as "Juan" is bringing words of encouragement from the South...and Lo! The man himself appears and resolutely walks to the podium. The whispers and snippets of conversation stop as "Juan" climbs the rostrum and draw himself up to his full height. He begins....
A spectre is haunting the NHL -- the spectre of a resurgent St. Louis Blues. All the powers of original Six have entered into an unholy alliance to exorcise this spectre: Habs and Leafs, Bruins and Rangers, Red Wings and Blackhawks.
When have the Blues attempted to improve their position in the league when the league hasn't pushed back? And didn't they cackle with derision when St. Louis finished last in the league and further failed to make the playoffs in the following two seasons?
Two things result from these facts:
I. The NHL fears the revival of the St. Louis Blues, because they fear the rise of a new lasting Power!
II. It is high time we Blues fans should openly, in the face of the whole world, publish our views, our aims, our tendencies, our dick and fart jokes, and announce proudly to the hockey world that, yes, they are right to tremble before the rising tide of Blues nation!
To this end, players of various nationalities have assembled in St. Louis and sketched the following manifesto, to be published on the St. Louis Game Time website.
1) Fuck Detroit. That isn't merely a slogan or a sacred talisman. No, we absolutely mean that shit. Fuck the city; fuck the people; fuck the region; and, most importantly, fuck the hockey team.
2) The history of all meaningful hockey is the history of struggles with old Norris division foes. Thus when we play the Blackhawks tonight it isn't merely about this one game, it is about all the games we have played against these assholes. (I've brought a clip...I don't think it needs any set-up.)
Blues fans of the world unite!! You have nothing to lose but the frustrations of the recent past!!
But Chicago sure does.