It's Only A Game?
You would think, were you a rational human being for whom sports are a fun diversion, I would be happy. I'm a hockey fan. I'm a playoff hockey fan. I'm a Blues fan. The Blues are damn close to being involved in playoff hockey again. Therefore, I should be happy.
Am I happy? You tell me:
1) I'm not sleeping well. Shit, last night I didn't sleep well because fucking Detroit lost. (That's wrong on so many levels.)
2) I'm forgetting to do really basic crap in my everyday existence. ("Oh, they pick up the trash EVERY Tuesday.")
3) I'm chewing my fingernails off at an alarming rate. (Who needs ‘em anyway?)
4) I'm having trouble thinking of anything even remotely funny to say for my weekly column, because all I want to do is laugh nervously like Peter Lorre on crack. (What's new?)
So here I am at work after getting maybe two hours of sleep last night, wishing I could mainline caffeine instead of drinking it a cup at a time, fretting about tonight's hockey games. And I do mean games. I want this over tonight. (Yeah, I'm talking to you Minnesota. Get off your lousy, boring ass and win goddamnit.) I want this particular brand of tension to be over and done with, and in a positive fashion. Oh, I know that the playoffs bring their own variety of pit of the stomach terror, but there is something about a seven game series, one team against another team, that makes it much more straightforward and humane. Scoreboard watching is killing me. For some reason it seems every team in the hunt with the Blues for the last couple playoff spots (except Edmonton) have been playing .900 hockey for weeks. I know that is bullshit, but fuck it all they never seem to lose.
So, as a result, I'm moody, irritable and, because of medication, sadly sober. This makes me an asshole, sometimes, and one of ginormous proportions.
I know that civilized human beings don't really act this way, but fuck civilization. There is hockey to be won.
The following is, for my money, the only piece of art that ever got to the essence of what real fanatics go through. (Particularly from 3:20 on.)
I have no idea if any of us are worth psycho-analyzing. I do know that none of us here give a shit. That makes us, in a sense, beyond saving.
So be it.
GO BLUES!!!!!!
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Comments
Dude...
I for one tried to explain to a co-worker what I was going through…which is EXACTLY the same as you described in your email…
My FB status reads something like this:
Dan is in a Hockey Coma during this “playoff push” and wonders if he will still be married when he comes out of his “coma.”
Sighh….7 hours and counting….
by DanGNR on Apr 10, 2009 12:40 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I hear ya....
My fiancee is supporting me through this, but doesn’t “get it”, yet at least. I was showing her the playoff chart the other night and she at least acted interested, but didn’t understand why I was so anxious for these games. She is good enough though to let me listen via XM radio in her car, which I’ll probably be doing tonight (if we aren’t at home, and I’m by a computer). I’ll convert her soon enough, I got her to start being a die-hard Blast fan, baby steps here….
Baltimore Blast - 5-time MISL champions, ready to make it 6 on 4/11
Let's go Blues!
by UIWWildthing on Apr 10, 2009 1:00 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I had a horrible nightmare last night...
… Detroit lost (duh) and then Minny loses as well. I’m sure that this was a side effect of my muscle relaxers that give me weird dreams, but I am SERIOUSLY hoping that it does not tell the future.
Usually my dreams are mildly dyslexic. I once dreamed that I made a 96 on an excon exam. I made a 69. Draw your own conclusions.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 1:27 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I made a 96 … I made a 69. Draw your own conclusions.
OK. I conclude that if you make a 96, you’re doing it wrong.
Let's go Blues!!!
by Milo. on Apr 10, 2009 1:52 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
I seen this girl in the Phillipines do a 96 once
Being from the Bible Belt it was an eye opening experience.
by spectr17 on Apr 10, 2009 3:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Ha.
I wouldn’t say th-no. I shan’t make comments that will leave a door open.
BTW, that should say “econ exam,” not “excon exam.” I’ve never conned a soul. Promise.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 3:43 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
“excon exam"
.
I assumed you had to take that to finish your parole.
Let's go Blues!!!
by Milo. on Apr 10, 2009 5:47 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
My co-workers keep giving me the “Why do you care, it’s not like you play for them” speech. I cannot put into words how into the Blues I am, so I cannot really explain it to the non-fan, which is frustrating. I am hoping by the end of the night I will be ecstatic and eagerly checking the mail each day for my playoff tickets. This has been a blast and I do not want it to end. So Blues PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don’t make me pay attention to baseball yet.
Hatred Walking
by Doc Whiskey on Apr 10, 2009 1:38 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
the only piece of art that ever got to the essence of what real fanatics go through. (Particularly from 3:20 on.)
Hell, Mrs. Milo has busted me for the car scene on multiple occasions over the past few weeks. I didn’t even make it to 3:20 before art imitated life!
And Mrs. Milo’s a huge fan, too!
Let's go Blues!!!
by Milo. on Apr 10, 2009 1:54 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
The future Mrs. Pagan’s license plates say HKYRLZ, so I think she’s ok with my obsession.
I feel unclean. It's a shame so deep it can only be erased by the ravages of time and the constant abuse of hard liquor. I rooted on the Red Wings and I am now less of a man for it.
by Pagan on Apr 10, 2009 2:04 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
All I'm thinking is that I (we) need to tune back the emotion-meter a scootch...
…and that’s going to be hard as hell to do considering the implications of tonight’s results. The last few times we’ve seen these ‘statement’ games (Chicago last week, the Red Wings a while back with the disgusting 46 seconds, etc.), where the fairweather columnists have raised the Blues up, folks on Blues Talk start coming out en masse and developing celebration plans and chants, and this site’s new commenters list grows by double-digits, the result on the ice has been unsatisfactory – if not downright ugly. The Blues have had time to make up for it before, but no longer.
Nashville’s on an annoyingly inspired tear and the Wild(s) need to continue some unorthodoxed high-scoring (and I’m talking five goals minimum) to keep them down and unable to come back.
Though the Jackets clinched their spot, they can clinch sixth tonight. They won’t be resting for the playoffs, is what I’m saying (which may be a good thing if they have Mason-comma-Steve in net, as the Blues have arguably solved him better than any other team in the league has). And they’ve got some pride to win back after last week’s home-and-home.
The Blues need to come out with the proverbial skate blade on the Jackets’ literal neck. Forecheck the shit out ‘em…don’t let them move for fear of getting sliced. And folks at the game…be loud, but meaningfully so. I don’t care if JD says the players love it – if I hear one premature or ill-timed ‘We Want Playoffs’ chant, I may have to get down to the DrinkScotch and smack some folk on their way out.
Also, JD…secure a seat behind each goal, place Cam Jannsen in whichever one is nearest to Steve-comma-Mason, and take the muzzle off the Cammer. I want him jawing until he’s horse…I want him to make Woody Harrelson’s trash-talk scene from White Men Can’t Jump to look like an episode of Barney in comparison.
Let’s go Blues, Let’s go Wild…
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
by TheDuke32 on Apr 10, 2009 2:13 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
oh, and Let's go Stars too.
A little insurance never hurts, does it? I’ve got faith in you Southstars!
I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.
by TheDuke32 on Apr 10, 2009 2:23 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Back about a month or so ago...
I started keeping an eye on the Preds and hoping for a massive collapse in Country Tune Town. They were the one team that worried me. Pekkahead, Weber, etc. And when the report came out Arnott was returning I figured that would be the “pick me up” they needed to make a run at OUR playoff spot.
FF to today and dayum if I wasn’t fretting for no reason. The Preds have come back to haunt me and the Blues nation.
by spectr17 on Apr 10, 2009 3:27 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Imagine
being stuck at a college in western North Carolina, where you are the only student who wears a hockey sweater. Nobody understands what I’m going through at all and it bloody sucks.
'I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league.'
MARK VIDUKA
by Jstats on Apr 10, 2009 3:03 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I went through the same thing in grad school. I was at the University of Iowa and if it wasn’t football or basketball, it was stupid or weird. I would have taken offense, but then I remembered that inbreeding could lead to lower IQs so I just ignored it.
Hatred Walking
by Doc Whiskey on Apr 10, 2009 3:05 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Surprisingly, there’s a lot of crossover between hockey fans and NASCAR fans. If the hicks in the sticks were exposed to hockey, I’m sure they’d love it.
I feel unclean. It's a shame so deep it can only be erased by the ravages of time and the constant abuse of hard liquor. I rooted on the Red Wings and I am now less of a man for it.
by Pagan on Apr 10, 2009 3:13 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
perfect video comparison
I’m about this bad. ‘how I’m doing’ directly corelates with how the Blues are doing. if the Blues lose a game, I’m downright miserable. If they win, I’m all skipping and grinning.
"I'm sorry we hurt their feelings"
-Barret Jackman
by Dooks on Apr 10, 2009 3:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rockin chairs
LETS GO BLUES!!!
by spectr17 on Apr 10, 2009 3:21 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I’m as nervous as John Holmes in a bed full of bear traps.
I feel unclean. It's a shame so deep it can only be erased by the ravages of time and the constant abuse of hard liquor. I rooted on the Red Wings and I am now less of a man for it.
by Pagan on Apr 10, 2009 3:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
damn i am several thousand miles away from Missouri and i’m as nervous as you are people
Go Blues!!
by Twist on Apr 10, 2009 3:54 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
yeah, and I’ve got this only North American sports cable channel called ESPN-America. They were goin to show CAL-EDM game tonight. And then all over the sudden they broadcast STL-CBJ. Wow! Can’t wait until it starts.
Unleash the devil
by Twist on Apr 10, 2009 4:01 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
The bomb threats work huh
My ace in the hole
by spectr17 on Apr 10, 2009 4:07 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Oh damn
I just had this conversation with my fiancee yesterday at lunch and I was trying to explain it to her in her terms. yeah….that really didnt work all that well. But seeing that clip reminded me of when another unnamed st.louis sports team started celebrating their victory the thursday before their Sunday game, talking all about their victory parade. All that weekend I kept getting a worse and worse feeling. And then at halftime I had to go outside and sit. One because I couldnt bear to see the team I had intensely followed for the past 13 months tank a sure thing. That and my friends all got tired of my bitching about how we were going to lose. So yeah, I can identify a whole heck of a lot with that clip. Well, good luck to our boys tonight and I will be up in section 301 with Jaymac. LETS GO BLUES!!!!!
by The Crazy Diamond on Apr 10, 2009 4:12 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
Alright everyone...
…good luck on those ulcers tonight.
deep breath
by Rich of GASL on Apr 10, 2009 5:18 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm fine
like a summer breeze. Cool as a cucumber.

by spectr17 on Apr 10, 2009 5:35 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
See ye at the rink!!!
And if I can get some 3G action in the first period, maybe from the rink, too
Let's go Blues!!!
by Milo. on Apr 10, 2009 5:49 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
So, you're saying that you're o-tay?
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 5:51 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Hildy, you are....
….unce, tice, fee ties a mady.
by Rich of GASL on Apr 10, 2009 5:52 PM CDT reply actions 0 recs
I'm just wookin por nub in all the wong pwaces, toe.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 5:58 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
Act'lly
Check the weather for Atlanta. It is BAD. Not too bad near me yet if you don’t consider a sky darker than Buckwheat bad. No rain yet, but nasty stuff is on the way. If my satellite gets knocked out (as goes my luck) I’m seriously relyin’ on you guys. After I get done having a hissy fit at DirecTV, of course.
As por da dub, I’s got no clue – I’ll find out Sat’day afta tha Twashas game, I gwess.
Holy SHIT, did Mark Twain’s head hurt this bad after Huck Finn? Note to self… I can’t write in dialect. But my LAWDY, can I talk in a mock Southern one. And by mock I mean mocking. I’ve been down here too long.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 6:12 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs
That should be nub.
I can’t even spell a dialect right.
Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?
Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.
by hildymac on Apr 10, 2009 6:13 PM CDT up reply actions 0 recs

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