My Turn In The Gallows

Warning only read this if you need to kill some time at work and/or curious about how fucking stupid Mardi Gras made me.

This is a couple months coming so its time to face up.  My section mates have been mercilessly ridiculing me and I hope that by coming to this public forum it will at least ebb some of their abuse.

It was Mardi Gras and there was drinking.  My college aged little sister made me a Blues shirt for Christmas.  On the back of said shirt in giant Blue writing is "I (heart) Boyes". 

On this fateful night I took a girl to the game with an extra ticket from one of buddies.  She did not have a decent Blues shirt to speak of so I loaned her my beloved Boyes shirt.

There was a full day of drinking and debauchery leading up to the Blues game.  The game itself was a letdown 1-0 OT loss to Nashville (fuck them that point didn't help them much).  So we rejoined the Mardi Gras group at Maggie O's for drinks.

A couple of hours into the one of the most awkward white person dance parties ever, I am approached:

Having seen my date dancing around in what is now a thoroughly drink stained I heart Boyes shirt, a fellow Blues fan decides that he must acquire that shirt for his girlfirend.

Stranger:  I will give you 20 bucks for you Boyes shirt.

me: No way man my little sister made this for me its priceless.

Stranger:  I have to have that shirt.  Seriously how much for the shirt?

me: There is no amount of money. (At this point its appropriate to point out that sometimes while drinking I try to make grandiose gestures to make myself appear noble or awesome)

Stranger:  I will give 100 dollars for that shirt.

me: I'm sorry friend can't do it.  My sister made this for me its one of a kind.

The stranger then takes off his Backes jersey and proceeds to show me that it is in fact a GAME WORN DAVID BACKES JERSEY.

Stranger:  I will trade you this for that shirt straight up.

me:  Sorry my sister's love has no price.

I am a fucking idiot.  After that exchange I was sick to my stomach.  I am a fucking wreck.  I have dealt with death better than this.  I took several shots to calm myself about a decision I already knew was the wrong one.  When I told my sister about it, was impressed?  Not at all.  She called me an drunken ass and told me she could easily have replaced it with another one. Fucking shit it hurts to type this.

Since that day I have been waiting for Backes to appear out of thin air and end my life for the insult of turning down one of his jerseys.  I guess he is spending his time on the playoffs right now, but I have no doubt that I will feel his wrath whenever this run is done.

Oh well, feel free to berate me as I have been hearing it for a while now.  I am just happy I get to yell "How much time is left?"  at least 6 more times.

Go Blues!!


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