Fifth Installment of "Load Quest"

Stanley & I would be making a tour of Baltimore, going to Fells Point, Canton, Fort McHenry, doing the usual photo shoots. Nothing fancy, after all is IT the Stanley Cup and I don’t want to curse the team.

That all being said, if the Blues haven’t won the Cup, I’m not touching it. A few years ago WNST owner Nestor Aparicio had a friend of his, who was on a Cup winning team (for the life of me I can’t remember who it was) come to the studio and he invited listeners to come and take pictures with, and even hold the Cup. I went to the studio, had a picture taken (lost the damn picture), but I REFUSED to touch the Cup, saying that until the Blues win it I wouldn’t touch it, lest it brings bad luck.

Stanley and I would be hosting an enormous open-to-the-public keg party in center-right field of the Little League baseball diamond at the corner of Leonard and Easton streets in beautiful, historic Staunton, Illinois.

That was the location of my one-and-only home run in Little League, a game-winner at that, circa 1969, or almost exactly forty years ago today.

We would also be getting multiple pictures taken — in front of St. Michael’s Church and School, at 408 E. Macoupin Street (my childhood home), at the 50-year-line at the Staunton HS football field, on the dam at Staunton Lake, somwehere out on Old Route 66 (probably where the old “Lake Of The 7 Fingers Resort” sign used to be), at Staunton City Hall… you get the idea.

B.

1) Drink beer out of it
2) Place someones baby in it and take a picture
3) Drink more beer out of it
4) Group photo with Papes II
5) Drink even more beer out of it
6) Take it to my parents house and make my dad cry, and get a photo
7) Knock back a few with the parents.
8) Get arrested on purpose and spend some time in jail with it
9) BEER TIME
10) Take it to Camp Lakewood in order to justify why I left my job in the middle of the night when the Blues won the Stanley Cup
11) If im not dead yet…MORE BEER

Eww, one girl, one cup. Gross.

Anyway, I’d probably parade it around Atlanta seeing as how it’s going to be a loooooooooong time since the Thrashers get one (I’m not hatin’, since I’m a fan, but God knows it’s true). Show it off at work, take it out to dinner and have it take up a seat at some really expensive resturaunt just to piss people off…

Then, of course, I’d bring it home and have pictures taken with it in various and sundry areas of St. Louis. By the Arch, in the Arch overlooking the MO side, because I’d never want East St. Louis to be in a photo with it… it’d be like Where’s Waldo, but bigger and shinier. Perhaps treat it to box seats at a Cards game…

But I will never take it to a chili place. And no child will ever soil it. Ever. That’s for classless teams like the Wings to do.

All. Day. Drinking. Binge.

Pour into Cup. Drink from Cup. Rinse. Lather. Repeat. Invite family to partake as well.

Although I REALLY REALLY like Brian’s idea.

I think I would host a SWEET RAVE PARTY with the cup.

(which of course includes mandatory alcohol/ecstasy and glow sticks)

who are no longer with us and whocontributed to the history of the franchise in St Louis and laid the foundation for the Blues to remain in St Louis (and not Saskatoon!).

The Cup would visit the final resting places of

Bob Gassoff, Barclay Plager, Doug Wickenheiser!!, Dickie Moore, Glenn Hall, Jacques Plante.

I’d make sure the Cup also visited the graves of Sidney J. Salomon Jr. and and Emile “The Cat” Francis.

Also can’t forget Harry Ornest, Ron Caron.

Finally, the Cup with as many past and present Blues players (Federko, Sutter, Hull?!) , alumni, fans, etc in tow, would have one hella parade to the Resurrection Cemetery in Chesterfield. Once there we would visit the grave of Dan Kelly. I’d pour a little of DK’s favorite liquid refreshment onto his grave from the Cup. Then we’d party like hell.

But I don’t want to jinx any of this. So please disregard all my ramblings……

if i had the cup for a day, i would definitely sleep with it (i am a pervert, but i wouldnt sleep with the cup in a sexual way), when i woke up, i would eat cereal out of it, most likely trix or cocoa crispies. then i would wash the cereal down by pouring a nice cold beer into the cup (who am i kidding, it would be more than one) and drinking every last drop. i would call my work and tell them im sick and i cant come in, but then i would drive the cup (in a seatbelt, or course) to my work and tell my boss to fuck off, i got the Stanley Cup. after drinking a few more beers out of it, i would hold a party, nothing wild, i would only invite 50-300 people. we would play beer pong with the cup and also take shots of jack, using the cup as a shot glass. when the party reaches its climax, i would be the third person in history to throw the cup into my swimming pool. i would need to take alot of pics because i wouldnt remember a damn thing

Have you ever seen the Foghorn Leghorn cartoon where he jumps over the fence with the metal cover to a serving tray, puts it over the head of that smartassed dog and starts banging away.

Foghorn = me
Tray lid = The Cup
Smartassed dog = Yzerman

All I know for sure is they would find me passed out with the cup at 5700 Oakland Ave

I would turn the Cup into the world’s coolest hookah (how much would that bowl hold?). Then we could all take a trip to visit Gerard and celebrate.

Maybe I’d just trade it to Carnie’s parents so Game Time can have custody of their daughter. We could then relocate her here, where she belongs.

“How much for your little girl?”