11. Draper and Maltby win the "Kiss Cam" contest again.
10. Half of the crowd arrives in vehicles that cost more than their house is worth.
9. Half of the crowd never arrives after eating at 'Cheli's Chili' restaurant.
8. Marian Hossa sits out in fear of falling headlong into the boards again.
7. Some dipshit from a Red Wings site shows up here to say we're not classy.
6. Jeff Woywitka goes into a trance while watching the Red Wings cycle around his zone.
5. There will be blood.
4. Your children start crying when the camera crew unwsiely decides to do a close-up on Johan
3. Some poor fan picks up a disease after sitting in the seat that Kid Rock occupied during last season's playoffs.
2. Chris Osgood cries if he loses; cries if he wins.
1. Half the crowd never makes it home after trying to escape from downtown Detroit.