Caught in the eye of the storm, the city of St. Louis lies in wait of a Vancouver assault by nightfall.
Unbeknownst to our aggressor, up from the depths of the mighty Mississippi river rides King Aragorn of Middle Earth, as he furiously charges towards the home of the once-mighty St. Louis Blues franchise.
He smashes through the locker room door with his towering steed, and with a fluid motion leaps off his horse and brings out the legendary sword of Elendil, hovering it towards the dejected band of bearded warriors.
Oshie, Berglund & Perron look up from their I-phones just in time to see a flash of silver barely graze their necks.
Keep your eyes on the task at hand, young warriors! The rest of you, hear my call!
And with that being said, the radio is silenced, Janssen looks up from his foil taping session, and the rest of the boys hastily take their seats.
Seeing that he finally has everyone's attention, Aragorn kneels to the ground, with his weight resting on the Sword of Elendil. He looks down for a moment, and when his gaze rises back towards his brothers, his expression takes a fierce turn...
Hold your ground, hold your ground! Sons of St. Louis, my brothers! I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me.
Colaiacovo, Woywitka & Weaver look at each other, silently nodding their heads in agreement.
A day may come when the courage of men fails, when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship, but it is not this day.
An hour of woes and shattered hearts, when the age of the St. Louis Blues comes crashing down!
But it is not this day!
This day we fight!
By all that you hold dear on this good Earth, I bid you stand, men of the Midwest!
The room rises in unison, raising their fists into the air.
We will not bow down to the likes of the Sedin Twins!
We will take what is rightfully ours, and bring Roberto Luongo to his knees!
We will force this arrogant group of Western Canadians to respect the Blue Note, and everything that it stands for! We will not lose this battle!
And with that being said, Aragorn pulls out his battle horn and lets out a bellowing cry, as our men rush onto the ice with a new iron clad resolve, one that will not be broken on this day...