These October Blues Breaks Are Infuriating

Excuse me, but that is not a chair. (Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images)

Have you noticed that when the NHL schedule makers get to the Blues in October, there is almost always a couple big breaks in the schedule? For instance, in 2006 they had an entire week off before playing the Red Wings at home on a Saturday night. It's as if the team doesn't want to compete with the baseball team down the street when they think there might be a postseason run in in 2006.

But when the Cardinals crap the bed and don't make the playoffs, it means a lot of quiet nights when all we want to do is get the season into the normal groove of having a game almost every other night. This week the Blues played at Chicago Monday night and totally did not blow a two-goal lead in the third period. They host the back end of the home-and-home series four days later in St. Louis Friday night. Any bad blood the Blues might have had festering after Monday night was probably skated out of them at practice this week. Then they host Pittsburgh the next night. So if the Blues have to play this month during the baseball playoffs, make 'em good, eh? Meanwhile hockey players and fans alike are idle. It sucks. It makes business sense on the off chance that the Cardinals are alive in October, but it still sucks.

Here now we present a time-filler. How might the Blues players be spending their time this week? A few ideas.

Top 11 Ways The Blues Are Spending Their Off Days

11.Catching up on current season of "Project Runway" on DVR even though the St. Louis guys are out.

10. Texting Cam Janssen like it's 2006 and he's Batman. Concussions = great comedy fodder.

 9. Paying people to rake leaves. Because raking leaves fucking blows.

 8. Playing the new Halo game. They probably play video games on game days. During intermission. In the penalty box.

 7.Going to the Zoo. That's what we do in St. Louis.

 6. Eating about six honeycrisp apples a day because they are the most delicious thing you can eat right now.

 5. Texting Cardinal players asking for extra NLCS tickets.

 4.Buying Sam Bradford jerseys.

 3.Obsessing over their fantasy football teams after foolishly drafting Ryan Matthews way too high and banking on Joe Flacco. Oh wait, that's me.

 2. Taking turns farting in the head of the big blue bear costume. You knew that's a costume, right?

 1. Starting

Any other ideas for what the Blues might be doing this week? Add 'em below in the comments.

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