Since you're reading this blog, your experience as a fan of the Blues has already been enhanced tenfold. You, fair reader/commenter, have witnessed your knowledge and wit increase with each FanPost and/or FanShot that you (or others) bring to the table, unless you happen to post only when we've lost a game and want to hop on your soapbox about how right you were that Brewer is a worthless shell of a defenseman and how Jackman is terrible and how Khavanov was the one of the worst...actually, you'd probably be right about Khavanov. Throw in some of the inane ramblings from the folks along the bottom ledger of the website, and we've got ourselves a kickass hockey blog.
But how do we build on that? Let's try with some simple "do"s and "don't"s concerning being a Game Timer and a Blues fan. And all praise to the Samsung for sponsoring this little series we'll have here.
- Ever acknowledge that Brett Hull played for the Detroit Red Wings. Nope. Never happened. And they didn't award a Stanley Cup last year, either.
- Attempt to go beer for beer with the Red Berenson Cowboy. This is for your own personal safety.
- Attempt to find the mythical "back way into Illinois." I tried it once and damn near ended up in Canada.
- Make a golf cart reference every time you read/write something about Erik Johnson. Once in a while is OK, but it's getting well past the point of overdone.
- Spill your beer on Chicago or Detroit fans. You can achieve the desired effect with a soda and at a much cheaper price, no less.
- Distribute towels to the paying fans as if someone other than you gives a damn.
- Ever let the Bluenote crest touch the ground. Not even with your replica jerseys.
- Come to the game with the single intention of letting everyone know how much you hate Brewer.
- Come to the game with the single intention of letting everyone know that you think the Blues should "shoooooooooooooot."
- Encourage the PowerPlay Dance. I'm probably fighting a losing battle there.
- Stack plates at Bobby's Place. They'll make you clean that shit up no matter how much you try and bribe them.
- Ignore all other responsibilities that occur between a half hour before puck drop to a half hour after the final horn, you've got a Game Thread to comment on. Children, homework, timezone differences, and other bullshit will wait.
- Write drunk, edit sober. Or write drunk, edit drunk. Either way, really.
- Vote for Oshie!
- Propose any and all ideas that could be the next Project Mayhem. On an unrelated note, I've been noticing more and more GT stickers on the beer buckets at Bobby's Place.
- Make sure to thank the next Montreal fan you see for the trade decisions of GM Pierre Gauthier.
- Wait for a whistle before getting out of or returning to your seat. This also goes for the viewers at home.
- Find this fan and do everything you can to be like him.
- WAIT FOR A GODDAMN WHISTLE!
- Vote for Jay!
- Tip your GT vendor. John, Clarence, and the rest of the gang are working hard out there.
- Stay for the Three Stars when you're at the game.
- Boo every opposing team jersey you see on the concourse. If you need help, join Patel and the rest outside 307 between periods.
- Thank the Hockey Gods every day that Martin Rucinsky is no longer affiliated with the Blues in any way, shape, or form.
- Spend each and every moment of your life pondering what the hell a Bermuda Cup might or might not be.
- Add your own "do"s and "don't"s in the comments.