A True 2010-2011 St. Louis Blues Preview

It doesn't come as any surprise that there's an obvious the-Blues-are-awesome bias at a, well, Blues blog.  But that doesn't mean we should skew the reality to make SLGT look like Fox News.  So to head off any accusations of bias, unrealistic expectations, or illicit drug use (particularly those that cause delusions) I've come up with a more realistic perspective of the upcoming Blues season.

The first thing that should cause alarm for the season is the fans' call for a second-rate player to win one of the most underrated awards.  Jay McClement for the Selke?  Really?  You're really going to put him in a class with someone like Pavel Datsyuk?  That type of an accusation is as bad as when Keenan decided to bring back an 80-year-old Grant Fuhr and calling him a bona fide starting goaltender.  It's so ridiculous it borders on absurd.  And it doesn't make it any funnier to bombard St. Louis' second-worst Post Disgrace "journalist" Jeremy Rutherford with questions about McClement, either.

Another thing that should scare fans of the Blues is that Alex Pietrangelo actually made the roster.  You know J.D. is trying to save face when a college player comes in and completely outplays your 4th overall draft pick from two years ago but keeps him up.  It's rather obvious he made the cut on draft position and politics alone.  What team do you think you're in charge of, J.D.?  The Canadiens?

And the third reason we should be worried is for the same excuse Blues fans have been making for two years now: Brad Boyes is a star and Patrik Berglund will be a beast.  Boyes is lucky he hasn't been Cheechooed, and Berglund might as well stay home, as it's never quite evident he actually takes the ice, anyway.  You know it's bad when Ty Conklin and his ugly fucking hat and mustache gets more time on TV than Berglund is actually on the ice.

Quick: name the Blues' first round pick this past year.  Nope, not Vladimir Tarasenko.  Some other guy.  Yeah, I'm serious.  Look it up.  Who?  Yeah, I don't remember, either.

There were only three positives out of this past off season: the addition of Jaroslav Halak, and the subtraction of Paul Kariya and Keith Tkachuk.  Halak's only good when he gets a lot of shots, so it's a good thing he joined the Blues.  Kariya can make any excuse he wants, but concussions weren't his problem; indifference was.  And Tkachuk only seemed like a less grumpy version of Andy Murray out there.

Get rid of Barret Jackman, who can't even play sound defense at the ripe age of you-could-skull-fuck-me-and-I'd-have-the-same-expression-on-my-face.  And Eric Brewer is Brewer.  If you don't know what I mean by that, open a dictionary and go to the page with the word "who?" on it.  If you see an old picture of someone in an Edmonton Oilers uniform, close it and burn it: no one likes the Oilers.  Not even their players, so they go to Hershey, instead.

Otherwise, you're looking at the same group of over-their-heads (Andy MacDonald), overrated-by-their-own-fans (David Backes), wouldn't-be-on-the-top-two-lines-if-anywhere-else (Alexander Steen), underachieving-yet-loved youth (David Perron, T.J. Oshie), and glorified AHLers (Tyson Strachan, B.J. Crombeen, Brad Winchester).  And considering the almost-success... er... almost-adequateness of last year, maybe that's not a wholly bad thing.  But this team is going to need more than putting the same crappy players on the ice; they're going to need to care, they'll need to rely on a great goalie, and, as we say every year, the players -- particularly the young ones -- need to step up and play to their potential.

And, no, we aren't going to make the playoffs this year.  Maybe next year.  Right, boys?