Top 11 Reasons Why I Was Asked Aboard At St. Louis Game Time

by Donut King on Mar 13, 2010 8:45 AM CST

11. Viva El Birdos staff thought I said the word "fuck" too much . . . Game Timers: impressed

10. There can never be enough pasty white people on a writing staff

9. Site needs more 1990's music references

8. Leaders of the site and staff figured I needed something to do on the six nights I'm not bowling

7. Apparently one Macoupin County native wasn't enough

6. Staff needed one more person whose job was boring enough to waste time here

5. The new guy always brings the donuts to staff meetings . . . hey, WAIT JUST ONE DAMN MINUTE!

4. More sentences involving terms such as "Douchetastic Fuckweasel" and "Assburger Shithead" were needed in actual articles rather than in a mess of Game Day Threads

3. Staff needed someone who dislikes the Blackhawks more than they dislike the Red Wings . . . you know, to balance things out

2. Two words: Blackmail. Photos.

1. Well, obviously SOMEONE was drunk . . . .

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Comments

Pasty? That looks like my Halloween costume when I went as Crisco….

by DoctorMyBrainHurts on Mar 13, 2010 9:36 AM CST reply actions

You forgot

the most obvious

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder

by luvhockey on Mar 13, 2010 10:00 AM CST reply actions

And what's the most obvious reason?

I thought I had it covered . . . LOL

The Throwdown Lowdown, only on The Bluenote Zone . . . I punch you hard.
St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.

by Donut King on Mar 13, 2010 1:49 PM CST up reply actions

I thought

it was obvious

The more cheap labor writing words, the less others have to write.

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder

by luvhockey on Mar 13, 2010 2:34 PM CST up reply actions

Oh damn . . .

didn’t think of that! We’ll put that at #12 on the list.

The Throwdown Lowdown, only on The Bluenote Zone . . . I punch you hard.
St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.

by Donut King on Mar 13, 2010 3:08 PM CST up reply actions

All Hail King Donut the First...

Back in my day, those donuts would have come from Jubelt’s on the corner of Main Street and Elm, across the street from McKay’s and kitty-corner from the bank.

Mmm… cheese pockets after Mass with Father Griffin at St. Michael’s on Sundays.

Good to have you aboard officially, T-Money.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Mar 13, 2010 10:21 AM CST reply actions

Yeah, Jubelt's closed when I was in high school.

I couldn’t even tell you what it is now . . . I think a video store? Hell, I don’t know. Most of the birthday party cakes for my sister, brother and I came from there until it did shut down. They still have a place in Litchfield. The donuts are excellent there.

Oh, childhood. You came and went way too fast.

The Throwdown Lowdown, only on The Bluenote Zone . . . I punch you hard.
St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.

by Donut King on Mar 13, 2010 1:52 PM CST up reply actions

Back in the day in St. Ann

it was Dunkin Doughnuts across from Krogers on the Rock Road. French Crullers were the shizzle along with the blond who had the best ~~boobies~~ smile. Now if we talking ~~pasties~~ pastries, it was the Swiss Bakery on the corner of Cypress and Rock Rd. Their cream horns drew a line every morning.

Just a chew toy for the hockey gods

by spectr17 on Mar 13, 2010 2:06 PM CST up reply actions

T-T-T-T-T MONEY!!!!!!

YAYA!!!!!! I’m excited for this.

I’m pasty white as well… and if I look tan in any sense of the word, well thats the jaundice.

"I wanna be an achiever like Bad Horse.... I meant Ghandi" ~ Dr. Horrible

by Carnie on Mar 13, 2010 1:25 PM CST reply actions

"There can never be enough pasty white people on a writing staff"

If that is a requirement, I should be the game time president.

by namshite on Mar 13, 2010 2:05 PM CST reply actions

T-Money

Congratulations on the new position.

Pasty? You ain’t seen my Caspar the Ghost legs yet. A cop told me I needed to cover my shit up this morning at the 7/11 store. It was hideous he said and I needed to think of the chillens.

Fuck Hossa just scored and the Blackhawks take the lead 2-1 late in turd against Philly. FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS!!!

Just a chew toy for the hockey gods

by spectr17 on Mar 13, 2010 2:11 PM CST reply actions

Welcome King

Dude, this is outstanding news. I give it 4 Camaros and a bag of pork rinds.

BBBBLLLLEEEEAAAARRRRGGGGGHHHHHH’s all around!

King, I too hate the Blackhawks more than Detroit. Always have and seriously always will.

King, bring the noise and never skimp on the funk my friend.

North Co! North Co! North Co!

by Answer Man on Mar 13, 2010 3:32 PM CST reply actions

For The King

King, I wanted to share a video from the pride of Sacramento. They are called “Hoods”. Punishing band. Insane intensity. Here’s the video for The King Is Dead. I mean nothing by this. It is a song I often listen to during my pregrame runs and weightlifting.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d6X3grJcF8s

North Co! North Co! North Co!

by Answer Man on Mar 13, 2010 3:47 PM CST reply actions