11. "44 is scratched?  I thought Chris Pronger was your captain?"

10. "You know what this place needs?  More hot chicks in pick jerseys!"

9. "Wait, didn't Brett Hull play for the 'Hawks in the '60s?"

8. "Who's that guy with the Towel counting goals?  I wish we had that!"

7. "The biggest key to the game will be shutting down Paul Kariya - he's a beast!"

6. "What do you mean you don't have Old Style on tap?"

5. "You guys should thank Patrick Kane for playing so well in the Olympics!"

4. "I don't care that the Blues are kicking our ass - blahblahblah Jay Cutler!"

3. "I just got back from my anger management class with Ed Belfour."

2. "What are you talking about?  What does Jonathan Toews have to do with puking?"

And number 1...

1. "Fuck this is boring - anyone know the Cubs score?"