Top 11 Things Answer Man Would Rather See/Do Before Seeing The Blackhawks Win The Stanley Cup

by Answer Man on May 24, 2010 11:00 AM CDT

11. Star in a viral video called "Two Dudes, One Cup"

10. Go Missionary with Answer Mom’s skank friend Phyllis…bareback

9. Attend a Cardinal’s game

8. Not shave his chest and groin

7. Play goalie

6. Never rock n’ roll all night or party ever-e-day

5. Wear Dress "Slacks" without my fanny pack

4. Work on his "finesse" game

3. Sign up to only play roller hockey and not just for the cute pants they wear

2. Pay for pornography vs. wanking it to the homemade stuff Answer Mom gave him. Can you say "Awesome 70’s Bush"?

1. Move to South County

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exciting '70's bush?!?

A strong anvil fears no hammer

by Childhood Trauma on May 24, 2010 12:14 PM CDT reply actions

I’d do everything on this list. Except if it was the Flyers or Habs.

Cheers, Complaints, homerism and bashing of mediocre pop musicians in 140 Characters
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding

by Kevin Sellathamby on May 24, 2010 1:03 PM CDT reply actions

I certainly wouldn't do the Flyers.

Not enough penicillin in the world for me.

Thrashing the Blues

Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?

Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.

by hildymac on May 24, 2010 1:11 PM CDT up reply actions

south county is gods country

still, rec’d like phyllis

"I quit because I didn't feel like the Detroit Lions had a chance to win. It just killed my enjoyment of the game."
-Barry Sanders
(Soon to be the Detroit RedWings - Henrik Zetterberg '11)

by DasBlues74 on May 24, 2010 2:02 PM CDT via mobile reply actions

Fucking Blackhawks.

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.

by Donut King on May 24, 2010 8:04 PM CDT reply actions

Ummm...

I have been known to play a little roller-puck (it is the MWs version of pond hockey!) and i live in SoCo… I wonder if I still have any of those sleeping pills that i borrowed from Brit Murphey’s husband.

"Millhouse, push 'em down if he's in yer way! Jimbo, go for the face! LOOK!!! Ralph Wiggum lost his shinguard! HACK THE BONE!!! HACK THE BONE!!!"
-Lisa Simpson, Kwik-E-Mart Gougers Goaltender

by Nancy's Boy on May 24, 2010 9:50 PM CDT reply actions

Unless AM is...

Just some NC douche who bangs old ladies for the change in their coinpurses so he can gas up his 1980s tri-colored TA w/ 1 missing t-top. That way he can go to his buddy’s “basement gym” where he and his other repressed homosexual friends work out while staring at each other (atleast shirtless, if not more) and belting out “classic metal ballads” (their opinions) to each other. If that’s the case, I’m okay being me, but maybe he’d like to borrow that bottle..?

"Millhouse, push 'em down if he's in yer way! Jimbo, go for the face! LOOK!!! Ralph Wiggum lost his shinguard! HACK THE BONE!!! HACK THE BONE!!!"
-Lisa Simpson, Kwik-E-Mart Gougers Goaltender

by Nancy's Boy on May 24, 2010 10:05 PM CDT reply actions