Sequels and remakes suck most of the time. Feel free to admit your personal movie nerd level by making your Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and superhero arguments in the comments.
But today, as I watched the 1976 version of Bad News Bears and laughed like it was the first time I'd ever seen it (if Tanner was my kid I'd be so proud I'd pop) I couldn't help but think about the horrible decision to re-make that classic in a world where a PG rating means they can't have the kids swear, drink beer and ride around as a gang in the back of a convertible with no seat belts and half of them hanging out the back.
Same goes for the bastards who allowed the Blues Brothers 2000 to be made. Dan Aykroyd, you... you... you.... You've disappointed me. What would Belushi say, you money-grubbing fuck.
Slapshot 2? Holy christ on a fucking cracker. Did anyone really think this would work?
Now, I've never seen any of those re-makes/sequels I mentioned, mainly because while I have few principles, the few I have I feel like I should hold tightly to. But I'm pretty sure I'm on firm ground in asserting that all three suck.
And now I'm in a bad spot. As those who have been around here for any amount of time can confirm, quotes and references to Broken Lizard's greatest movie ever, Super Troopers, occur on a very regular basis. In fact, if you haven't seen the movie, you're going to miss about 18% of my references during the season. It's in my favorite movie top-5 ( agroup that shall not be ranked but rather treated as a group) that includes The Blues Brothers, Bad News Bears, Slapshot and a rotating fifth member, just like Minnesota's rotating captaincy program.
And now there is news that the Broken Lizard guys, who have tried and never managed to produce a movie as perfect as Super Troopers (the I-tried-but-it's-awful Club Dread, the has-its-moments Beerfest and the oh-no-straight-to-DVD? Slammin' Salmon), are obviously freaking out because they haven't been able to tap into the perfection that they mined for ST. They've announced that they are going to make a ST 2, a movie set 10 years down the line with the same cast of characters.
The fact that "Brown Magic" Jay Chandrasekhar worked on the disatrous Dukes of Hazzard movie means to me that either he didn't learn the lesson about tarnishing the reputation of your crowning moment or, more likely, he realized that there's money to be made by taking advantage of your hardcore fans.
And all of that brings us to all of this. Your question for the night...
What's the worst idea for a movie remake?
Slapshot 2. Seriously? Stephen Baldwin hasn't been good in anything except for about 10 minutes of The Usual Suspects. (13 votes)
Blues Brothers 2000. If Aykroyd had died and Belushi had lived, would John have made BB2K? (6 votes)
Super Troopers 2. The Return of Car RamRod will not work. (2 votes)
Miracle 2: In 2010, Silver Will Feel Almost Like Gold. (18 votes)
Old School 2: Guess Who's Got Another Place Right Off Campus? (4 votes)
Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2: Work Sucks! (11 votes)
54 total votes