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Around SBN: Jerry Sandusky's Wife Tries To Run A Reporter Over

Your Late Night Poll: Don't Do It Broken Lizard

Sequels and remakes suck most of the time. Feel free to admit your personal movie nerd level by making your Star Wars, Lord of the Rings and superhero arguments in the comments.

But today, as I watched the 1976 version of Bad News Bears and laughed like it was the first time I'd ever seen it (if Tanner was my kid I'd be so proud I'd pop) I couldn't help but think about the horrible decision to re-make that classic in a world where a PG rating means they can't have the kids swear, drink beer and ride around as a gang in the back of a convertible with no seat belts and half of them hanging out the back.

Same goes for the bastards who allowed the Blues Brothers 2000 to be made. Dan Aykroyd, you... you... you.... You've disappointed me. What would Belushi say, you money-grubbing fuck.

Slapshot 2? Holy christ on a fucking cracker. Did anyone really think this would work?

Now, I've never seen any of those re-makes/sequels I mentioned, mainly because while I have few principles, the few I have I feel like I should hold tightly to. But I'm pretty sure I'm on firm ground in asserting that all three suck.

And now I'm in a bad spot. As those who have been around here for any amount of time can confirm, quotes and references to Broken Lizard's greatest movie ever, Super Troopers, occur on a very regular basis. In fact, if you haven't seen the movie, you're going to miss about 18% of my references during the season. It's in my favorite movie top-5 ( agroup that shall not be ranked but rather treated as a group) that includes The Blues Brothers, Bad News Bears, Slapshot and a rotating fifth member, just like Minnesota's rotating captaincy program.

And now there is news that the Broken Lizard guys, who have tried and never managed to produce a movie as perfect as Super Troopers (the I-tried-but-it's-awful Club Dread, the has-its-moments Beerfest and the oh-no-straight-to-DVD? Slammin' Salmon), are obviously freaking out because they haven't been able to tap into the perfection that they mined for ST. They've announced that they are going to make a ST 2, a movie set 10 years down the line with the same cast of characters.

The fact that "Brown Magic" Jay Chandrasekhar worked on the disatrous Dukes of Hazzard movie means to me that either he didn't learn the lesson about tarnishing the reputation of your crowning moment or, more likely, he realized that there's money to be made by taking advantage of your hardcore fans.

And all of that brings us to all of this. Your question for the night... 

Poll
What's the worst idea for a movie remake?
Slapshot 2. Seriously? Stephen Baldwin hasn't been good in anything except for about 10 minutes of The Usual Suspects.
13 votes
Blues Brothers 2000. If Aykroyd had died and Belushi had lived, would John have made BB2K?
6 votes
Super Troopers 2. The Return of Car RamRod will not work.
2 votes
Miracle 2: In 2010, Silver Will Feel Almost Like Gold.
18 votes
Old School 2: Guess Who's Got Another Place Right Off Campus?
4 votes
Ferris Bueller's Day Off 2: Work Sucks!
11 votes

54 votes | Poll has closed

Comment 8 comments  |  0 recs  | 

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This movie is gonna make “House Party” look like “House Party 2”.
Or “House Party 3”.
Shut the fuck up!

Would Belushi have made BB2K, if Aykroyd had been the one to die? I think so, yeah. After filling Aykroyd’s roles in Ghostbusters and Spies Like Us, and after the inevitable failure that would have been Samurai Cheeburger: The Movie, I think it’s entirely possible that Belushi would have revisited the Blues Brothers mythos. Aykroyd was a bigger influence in starting the Brothers, but Belushi was the bigger presence on stage and screen; it would have been easier for Belushi to find another Aykroyd than for Aykroyd to try to fill Belushi’s shoes with John Goodman and some kid.

by BleedBlue42 on Jul 25, 2010 9:13 AM CDT reply actions  

i don't care what anyone says

the Slammin Salmon was hysterical.

Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of The King and I? Well anyway, before the show, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast, and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.

by ilikeboyes on Jul 25, 2010 11:42 AM CDT reply actions  

Who wants cream?

Nobody?

OK, no cream.

No beer and no TV make Homer...something something.

by Poor College Student on Jul 25, 2010 1:54 PM CDT reply actions  

Its for a cop

He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Just because Jay McClement is the best defensive forward in the NHL doesn't mean he should win the Selke.

by Icion on Jul 25, 2010 4:37 PM CDT up reply actions  

I too liked the slammin' salmon

on a related note, has anyone seen their first movie? its called puddle cruiser. it was pretty bad, even worse than club dread. which make me wonder how they turned it around to super troopers so quickly, since ST was only their second movie.

IT'S A TARP!!!

by bmackattack on Jul 26, 2010 1:48 AM CDT reply actions  

Never seen "Super Troopers..."

…but I don’t see how it could be funnier than “Caddyshack” and “Animal House” and “Airplane.”

Put those three up with “Slap Shot” and “The Blues Brothers,” and you’ve got the five funniest movies ever made.

Of course, nothing compares to “The Godfather,” which is in a clase of Zen-like awesomeness all by itself. Capice, paisan?

B.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Jul 26, 2010 12:53 PM CDT reply actions  

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