Chris Chelios To Work For Wings

by gallagher on Aug 9, 2010 2:30 PM CDT

Trading in his jersey for a suit and fetching chapeau, Chris Chelios is ready to do... something... for the Red Wings' front office.

Considering the news that octogenarian Chris Chelios has agreed to go to work for the Red Wings but that they have yet to determine what his duties or official title will be, we thought maybe we could help out our friends in ~~Beirut~~ Detroit with a Top 11 Suggested Job Titles For Chris Chelios....

11. Director of Very Senior Scouting

10. Ambassador To Corporate Partners, Cialis Account

9. Senior Council on Mid-Day Napping

8. Vice President in Charge of 4:30 pm Buffet Dinners

7. Staff Non Genius

6. Director of Food Services, Lethal Locations Division

5. Training Staff, Osteoporosis Expert

4. Legal Department - Beating DUI Convictions Expert

3. Assistant Coach, Dirty and Cheap Shot Play

2. Liason To Devil For Soul Sales

1. River, Old Man

Your suggestions in the comments, if you please.

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Comments

When-Gordie-Howe-was-knee-high-to-a-grasshopper reminiscer.

Blackhawks are to be despised; Red Wings to be hated; and their fans to be ridiculed.

by Pagan on Aug 9, 2010 3:07 PM CDT reply actions

Konstantinovs new wheelchair pusher....

and the guy who wipes the drool off his chin….

I still maintain Vladimir Konstantinov got what he deserved...If you can't handle that then kiss my ass......

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

by dablues7 on Aug 9, 2010 3:18 PM CDT reply actions

I would have put the over/under on a Vlad joke at 7 comments.

So you’re ahead of the curb.

www.stlouisgametime.com

by Brad Lee on Aug 9, 2010 3:22 PM CDT up reply actions

Brad just read my sig.....

every time I post a comment theres a Vlad joke…..I hope he burns in hell…..

I still maintain Vladimir Konstantinov got what he deserved...If you can't handle that then kiss my ass......

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

by dablues7 on Aug 9, 2010 3:31 PM CDT up reply actions

Coordinator of...

…Bingo, Casino, and Florida Bus Trips

- a Tale from my Creased Mind

by jpratte on Aug 9, 2010 3:29 PM CDT reply actions

Director of...

…GET OFFA MY LAWN!!!!!

- a Tale from my Creased Mind

by jpratte on Aug 9, 2010 3:30 PM CDT reply actions

Damnit, you took mine…

In Lou We Trust: The system hates us, man.
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly

by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 9, 2010 6:01 PM CDT up reply actions

LOL

GET OFFA MY COMMENT!

j/k ;-)

- a Tale from my Creased Mind

by jpratte on Aug 9, 2010 6:24 PM CDT up reply actions

Special Assistant Executive to Father Time

He’s only a decade older than me, but that’s half a career in the NHL.

Also “The Beirut Red Wings” sounds like a great team name. All we have to do now is convince the five people left living there to change the city’s name.

by Paperwork Ninja on Aug 9, 2010 4:57 PM CDT reply actions

Chief Historian.

From the time when he helped Antoine de la Mothe Cadillac lay the foundation for Fort Detroit, up through 1996 when he and Steve Yzerman founded the NHL, and on through the present day.

Oh, and he’d like to make clear that his restaurant is one of the safest places in the whole city, having hosted only one murder.

by BleedBlue42 on Aug 9, 2010 5:28 PM CDT reply actions