FanPost

Wasted Time Wednesday


Occasionally, like everyone else, I get a bit bored and daydream. My most recent brought up a topic that some friends and I had a field day debating. If every player on the Blues were to go to another team, where would you like to see them go? Excluding recent acquisitions, of course.

My personal thoughts:

David Perron - the Montreal Canadiens. And yes, I realize its his hometown team. But he's just the perfect amount of French-Canadian to wear that sweater.

Eric Brewer - the Detwat Dead Things. Banishment. Surround him with rotting corpses and target the red on his jersey, like a bull and such.

David Backes - the New York Rangers. Captain America in the red, white, and blue. Find me a hockey player more suited to be photographed in front of Lady Liberty, and I'll smack you in the mouth for your insolence. Think of it like this: David Backes = Chuck Norris = Walker, Texas Ranger... see what I did there?

Jay McClement - the San Jose Sharks. What would accent the monster line of Heatley-Thornton-Marleau perfectly? Silent Jay manning any sort of shut down line.  ...hey, Jamal....

Brad Winchester - the Dallas Stars. "Y'all hear who the Stawrs picked up? That Brad Weenchester fella. I might have to scurry on don to the stower and get me a Weenchester jarsey. It'll go nice with mah rahfle."

Brad Boyes - the Edmonton Oilers. Taylor Hall needs a mentor, someone to help him with his shot. I'm here til Friday folks, be sure to tip your waitresses.

T.J. Oshie - the Colorado Avalanche(s). Can you imagine this kid guy on a line with any of Stastny, Duchene, Stewart, Mueller... watch the fuck out.

Roman Polak - the Boston Bruins. One reason, and one reason only: a Polak - Chara pairing smash.

Erik Johnson - the Philadelphia Flyers. Hate me for this if you want, but EJ and Pronger together would be fucking terrifying. Plus, Prongs could teach him how to slick his hair back like the pros, amongst other invaluable tips and tricks.

Alex Steen - the Pittsburgh Penguins. Much like a penguin, Steener's got a beak. IMO, he'd fit nicely on a line with the ugliest man in hockey, Evgeni Malkin.

Patrik Berglund - well... he's still got me all frustrated and shit. FIND YOURSELF BERGIE, FIIIIIIND YOURSEEELLLLLFFFFF!!!!!

Andy McDonald - the Montreal Canadiens. I know I've already used them, but not only does his whopping 5'11" frame make Happy Meal a perfect fit for Les Habs, it'd make him the biggest guy on the smallest/fastest line in the NHL. Said line: Gionta - Happy Meal - Cammalleri.

Barrett Jackman - the Columbus Blue Jackets. He'd look less stupid next to Mike Commodore. And his name sounds like it could have belonged to a General in the Civil War. General Jackman and Commodore.. uhh.. Commodore. ....where's Mel Brooks when you need him?

Cam Janssen - the Calgary Flames. With the loss of tough guy Brian McGrattan, someone will need to step up and protect Goomba Olli Jokinen's stupid ass (for explanation, see this picture, you'll catch the reference if you've played a video game since 1985). Not to mention, I think CamSmash would look pretty cool in the Flame.

Carlo Colaiacovo - the Tampa Bay Lightning(s). More letters = cooler Tampa jersey. 

B.J. Crombeen - the Phoenix Coyotes. Best toothless player since Mike Ricci, and Paul Bissonnette's new bff/photographer of the homeless. 

I really hope you weren't looking for some sort of intelligent writing, and if you were I sincerely apologize for deceiving you.

Please make sure that any content you post is appropriate to Game Time, which means that it pertains to hockey, the Blues, frosty adult beverages, or puppies.

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