Wasted Time Wednesday

by ilikeboyes on Sep 15, 2010 4:42 PM CDT

Occasionally, like everyone else, I get a bit bored and daydream. My most recent brought up a topic that some friends and I had a field day debating. If every player on the Blues were to go to another team, where would you like to see them go? Excluding recent acquisitions, of course.

My personal thoughts:

David Perron - the Montreal Canadiens. And yes, I realize its his hometown team. But he's just the perfect amount of French-Canadian to wear that sweater.

Eric Brewer - the Detwat Dead Things. Banishment. Surround him with rotting corpses and target the red on his jersey, like a bull and such.

David Backes - the New York Rangers. Captain America in the red, white, and blue. Find me a hockey player more suited to be photographed in front of Lady Liberty, and I'll smack you in the mouth for your insolence. Think of it like this: David Backes = Chuck Norris = Walker, Texas Ranger... see what I did there?

Jay McClement - the San Jose Sharks. What would accent the monster line of Heatley-Thornton-Marleau perfectly? Silent Jay manning any sort of shut down line. ...hey, Jamal....

Brad Winchester - the Dallas Stars. "Y'all hear who the Stawrs picked up? That Brad Weenchester fella. I might have to scurry on don to the stower and get me a Weenchester jarsey. It'll go nice with mah rahfle."

Brad Boyes - the Edmonton Oilers. Taylor Hall needs a mentor, someone to help him with his shot. I'm here til Friday folks, be sure to tip your waitresses.

T.J. Oshie - the Colorado Avalanche(s). Can you imagine this kid guy on a line with any of Stastny, Duchene, Stewart, Mueller... watch the fuck out.

Roman Polak - the Boston Bruins. One reason, and one reason only: a Polak - Chara pairing smash.

Erik Johnson - the Philadelphia Flyers. Hate me for this if you want, but EJ and Pronger together would be fucking terrifying. Plus, Prongs could teach him how to slick his hair back like the pros, amongst other invaluable tips and tricks.

Alex Steen - the Pittsburgh Penguins. Much like a penguin, Steener's got a beak. IMO, he'd fit nicely on a line with the ugliest man in hockey, Evgeni Malkin.

Patrik Berglund - well... he's still got me all frustrated and shit. FIND YOURSELF BERGIE, FIIIIIIND YOURSEEELLLLLFFFFF!!!!!

Andy McDonald - the Montreal Canadiens. I know I've already used them, but not only does his whopping 5'11" frame make Happy Meal a perfect fit for Les Habs, it'd make him the biggest guy on the smallest/fastest line in the NHL. Said line: Gionta - Happy Meal - Cammalleri.

Barrett Jackman - the Columbus Blue Jackets. He'd look less stupid next to Mike Commodore. And his name sounds like it could have belonged to a General in the Civil War. General Jackman and Commodore.. uhh.. Commodore. ....where's Mel Brooks when you need him?

Cam Janssen - the Calgary Flames. With the loss of tough guy Brian McGrattan, someone will need to step up and protect Goomba Olli Jokinen's stupid ass (for explanation, see this picture, you'll catch the reference if you've played a video game since 1985). Not to mention, I think CamSmash would look pretty cool in the Flame.

Carlo Colaiacovo - the Tampa Bay Lightning(s). More letters = cooler Tampa jersey.

B.J. Crombeen - the Phoenix Coyotes. Best toothless player since Mike Ricci, and Paul Bissonnette's new bff/photographer of the homeless.

I really hope you weren't looking for some sort of intelligent writing, and if you were I sincerely apologize for deceiving you.

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Comments

You hate EJ that much?

by Mr. Particle on Sep 15, 2010 6:20 PM CDT reply actions

haha no

but i do honestly believe that he’d learn quite a bit.. i would have picked whatever team Pronger was on.

"If they don't score, we can't lose." - Gene Briggs

by ilikeboyes on Sep 15, 2010 7:38 PM CDT up reply actions

excluding, of course

fuck detroit and fuck chicago

"If they don't score, we can't lose." - Gene Briggs

by ilikeboyes on Sep 15, 2010 7:38 PM CDT up reply actions

Loved the Bergie comment

Let’s hope he does find himself, the puck and the net this year.

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder

by luvhockey on Sep 15, 2010 10:56 PM CDT reply actions

Fun fact

Brad Winchester was with Dallas before he came to St. Louis. Unlike the Blues, they realized he sucks.

St. Louis Game Time Fact: Morning links are part of a well-balanced meal.

SBNSTL Writing about the Blues in more than one line is tough.

by averagejoe on Sep 15, 2010 11:07 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

Rec'd for truth.

I don’t think they’re gonna have him back. Except for the pure irony.

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Sep 16, 2010 12:00 AM CDT up reply actions

If the Flames did it wil ole' Olli

Never count out the power of stupidity among people.

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Sep 16, 2010 10:47 AM CDT up reply actions

I can't help thinking this post is sacrilege

I usually turn it around, which player do I want ON the Blues?

Martin St. Louis: I know Tampa’s locked him up with a huge contract, but who doesn’t want to see the name on the back of the jersey match the name on the front? I’d even start pronouncing the name of the city as San Looie in his honor.

The race is not always to the swift, nor the battle to the strong. But that's the way to bet. - Damon Runyon

by baroose on Sep 16, 2010 7:40 AM CDT reply actions

I would LOVE to see Lecavalier on the Blues

I think he could teach Perron a lot and the guy can score some goals. Not to mention his wife is smoking hot.

I would also like to see Semin and or Backstrom come over from Washington. Both are good guys and could teach our kids a lot.

Finally I’d like to see Shea Weber. A defensive core of him, EJ, Pietrangelo, Jackman, Polak, Cola and Cole as a 7th man. I’m nursing a semi just thinking about it.

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Sep 16, 2010 10:50 AM CDT up reply actions

oi

perrrron – san louie – lecavelyea nicely french

"If they don't score, we can't lose." - Gene Briggs

by ilikeboyes on Sep 16, 2010 2:17 PM CDT up reply actions

I have a huge almost entirely hetero mancrush on Anze Kopitar, would love to see him on the blues. Joe Pavelski would be badass so we could roll him on the Oshie-Pavelski-Backes American line.

He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Just because Jay McClement is the best defensive forward in the NHL doesn't mean he should win the Selke.

by Icion on Sep 17, 2010 12:58 AM CDT up reply actions

Really . . .

do you have a thing for zombies?

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Sep 17, 2010 7:10 AM CDT up reply actions

definitely looks like he eats brains between periods

"If they don't score, we can't lose." - Gene Briggs

by ilikeboyes on Sep 17, 2010 9:35 AM CDT up reply actions

pah

strange lines iz were itz at

lets get aaron johnson for the famous d team of johnson and johnson

lets draft st louisan jack berger, re-get dj king and have the berger-king- macdonald line

lets get the old timers!! i wanna hear suter passes to sutter up to sitller, shot, rebound shutt shoots, scooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeee

heck i got a goalie and another d-man i could add even!!

A strong anvil fears no hammer

by Childhood Trauma on Sep 16, 2010 2:29 PM CDT reply actions