The great and mighty Friday? Oh F-You.

I’ve had this whole week off for no apparent reason, and then some high school decides to hold a tournament this weekend to fudge everything up. Yeah, well, you know what? I’m not going all day tomorrow, so there.

Hockey, even if it is pre-season, trumps being locked in a room reading a book any time.

Fuck you to my wife’s boss….you piece of shit, you CANNOT cut her hours because she is pregnant and you think she’s “not reliable enough now”. No, sorry that’s an EEOC violation.

Fuck you to the Xbox 360….I’m currently waiting for MS to send back what will be my 5th console…the last 4 all got the RRoD. Damn, why do I have to enjoy the games on the system that much to put up with this shit?

Fuck you to religious missionaries…if I tell you I don’t want your fliers, leave me alone, thank you

Finally and always Fuck Detroit

Gallagher beat me to it with the politicians. Fuck all of them. Democrat, Republican, all of ‘em. I’m only going to vote for you because I hate you less than I hate the other candidate. You’re all full of shit. The last honest politician we had was Bill Clinton, he was full of shit and he admitted it.

Fuck the people in my Intercultural Communication class that I’m taking that in one night said “irregardless” (I’d say they said the word, but it isn’t a word), then in an oral presentation on Spain, I was told that Spain gets lots of tourism to their most famous cathedral, Notre Dame.

I was also told that Sydney is the “second largest nation in the country of Australia,” and that the reason they celebrate Australia Day in January is because “it gives everybody something to do when it is cold.”

Fuck Michigan State for winning on a fake field goal in overtime.

On an unrelated, non-fuck note, Anybody headed to the game tonight?

FU to those who insist on walking in the exit door. There’s two doors mensing, one marked Entrance and one marked Exit. for a reason. Just cuz you’re in a hurry or just plain fucking lazy is no reason for me to have to steer my lumber cart around your goofy azz at Lowe’s. Enjoy that 2×4 headache azzhole. Same for you fuckos yapping or texting on your cells, pick the right fucking door or get steamrolled jerkoffs.

FU whiney fire captains. Yeah I know you got the bugles on your collar but you’re need to do your job and not push shit down hill. Lead by example and stop fuckin complaining when someone calls you on your backsliding.

FU idjit freeway road warriors. The car ain’t gonna go any faster sliding on it’s side azzholes, them 4 tires work much much better for getting there. Thanks for the Sig Alerts, may your fuckin AC break and your electric windows jam.

FU Redland FD or PD, one of you had the road closure for the funeral procession for Sgt Alcaraz and you fumbled the ball. All we wanted to do was pay our respects and instead we played peek-a-boo through fucking cars who didn’t even had the smarts to pull over in respect. Fuck you too to the clueless drivers who asked if it was a parade or something. Get back on your turnip truck you dumb MFers.

At this time I’d like to take back a FU to the goathorns. God dayum, I give. UNCLE!!!! I’m sorry I ever mentioned your fucking name. Please stop, I’m still stepping on you fucking things in the carpet. Just how many times do I have to vacuum the place to get rid of your azzes? You win, just stop already, it’s been 3 weeks for FUCKS SAKE!!!

Fuck my school’s IT department. Seriously. I was not on the mailing list as being a student, so I missed out on one of the few job openings that I was qualified for. There goes any chance I have of money. Ever. Or at least for the next two months. Of course, two days after that job was filled, I’m on the list. Fuck this.

Also, Fuck being older than everyone else at school. Being a fifth-year senior basically just means that all of your friends graduated and there is nothing to do that you haven’t done before a thousand times, and probably better and to better music. Just saying.

Fuck the fact that I can’t afford hockey tickets and that my father is letting his season tickets lapse for the first since before the Lockout. Stupid economy, stupid ticket price increases. Also, see the first thing on the list. Because then, at least, I could see a Blues/Thrashers or Blues/Preds game this year. But nooooooooooo.

FU Direct TV! So what if I signed a contract for two damn years, how can you charge me $240 bucks to cancel when I’m moving in with someone who already has DirectTV!?

Speaking of moving, F that, too.

FU undergrad students outside my window playing Frisbee and being generally carefree while I slave away at my computer (well aside from writing this). FU adulthood!

FU stats class. I hate you and your odds ratios.

F Detroit, Chicago and the rest!

One person quits and another goes on disability and now I’m working till midnight every day of the week for the forseeable future and am lucky if I wake up in time for my wife to leave for work or maybe she’ll try and stay awake so we can see each other for five minutes.

Thanks a lot asshole kitchen for not having a proper freezer. I want to go to town cooking and shit and becoming the next iron chef… but I don’t have a proper fridge or freezer.

And fuck you cafeteria for serving cheesecake cupcakes. Are you trying to make me obese?!?

Yeah, we used to cover your games. But then about four years ago, we fired the pedophile jackass who sold advertising to many the businesses in that town, which paid for all the games we covered from said town’s high school. And most of those businesses followed him to other places, because they’re dicks just like your school’s fans seem to be. No dough, no show. You want your games covered? Find all the businesses that DON’T advertise with us (but specifically, the ones that followed said pedophile jackass to other places), call them and tell them you’re not buying anything from their store/restaurant/crack-running-business/whatever unless you advertise with the radio station that used to cover all said town’s high school football games. It probably won’t get you far, because you’re probably a small group. But it’s a start. Otherwise, I could give a fuck what your opinion is.

Fuck you, weather. Decide what fucking season it is already, will you? It shouldn’t be pushing 90 on the first official fucking day of Autumn.

And fuck you, Detroit, Chicago, Columbus and Nashville. You’re gonna die, starting in a couple weeks.

…and have to log back in every time I turn this infernal machine off, and back on again.

Also, FU to whoever decided that your most loyal contributors shoul;d be collectively referred to as “Billy,” the Plager brother that never did diddly-squat, and “Ed Rooney.”

What’s next… is senior management going to be Bluto, the links guys going to be Otter, and us poor slaves in the contributor column going to get stuck with Dean Wormer?

Merde… :-D

B.

Fuck you deviated septum, I can’t wait for you to be surgically repaired. I hate not being able to breathe when I try to sleep. Waking up gasping for air is no fun, sitting in the dentist chair is no fun. And fuck the person who caused it, if I ever see her face, she’ll having a matching crooked nose.
Fuck you hockey season, get here all ready. Stop tempting me w/ ads while watching The Cardinals lose to those fucking Cubs. Fuck you Cubs!
Fuck you Detroit, and the rest of the central.
Fuck you weather, I’m sick of your mood swings. We’re heading into October, it doesn’t need to be in the near 90’s!
Fuck my lousy back for making it hell to do the easiest things for anyone else, I hate you.
Lastly, fuck you parents who don’t make their kids mind. WTF! Letting getting their way, while hitting, kicking spitting, stealing…destroying…wasting. What the fuck are you doing having kids? Stop breeding for fuck sake. And grow the fuck up yourself. I’ll see your kid in jail in future years…