Special Teams Sh*tshow: 'Canes @ Blues GDT

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I'm really bitter about the Blues right now. Last year, I got to see them live at every home game for the first time in my life. This year, I live in SoCal, so I had the Anaheim and Los Angeles games circled on my calendar. This week, I saw them twice and they shit themselves. Aside from Alex Steen, there was nothing positive about either of these games. I wanted to see them at least try and win, instead of subjecting me to the most boring hockey I've seen since the post-lockout year. Money well spent, right?

That's one of many stories in tonight's match-up with the visiting Carolina Hurricanes. Yeah, Chris Stewart and Anthony Stewart are going to be playing each other for the first time, but fuck that. You'll hear enough of that from John Kelly tonight because he can't keep his focus on the damn game. The real focus lies on the poopy special teams and the goaltending situation.

The Blues currently are dead fucking last in both power play and penalty kill. I know the season is very young. I know that the Blues have only played six games, but that's depressing and unacceptable for a team that, at one time in the previous years, excelled in one or both of these statistical categories. The Blues used to be fun to watch, too. I can't tell if Jamie Langenbrunner is trying to play hockey or lost looking for Old Country Buffet.

As for goaltending, juice is greater than water, as Brian Elliot gets the nod. In a situation where he doesn't chug dongs, Jaroslav Halak might be starting tonight, thanks to a pair of off-days. His recent struggles, however, put him on the bench. A bench where, in Los Angeles, he hung his head so low, it made Manny Legace look like a real go-getter.

In other news, Carlo Colaiacovo returns to the line-up tonight and Carolina is riding a 3-game winning streak into DrinkScotch. Will either of those things factor into the game? Who knows? Drink more, because it's going to be a bumpy ride.

This is your GDT. Give champagne facials to everyone you see.

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