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I have a theory about Ken Hitchcock...

The original theory about Ken Hitchcock was shamelessly lifted from Anne Elk's "theory about dinosaurs" so I went with something else. Yes, he's very small at the beginning, much larger in the middle and back to small at the end, but that's not the point!

I think Ken Hitchcock might be Santa Claus in disguise. Let me use the magic of "compare and contrast" to determine this theory.

Santa: Round jovial fellow

Hitchcock: Round jovial fellow

Santa: Has a full beard

Hitchcock: successfully grew a nice 'stache during Movember, but got rid of it lest he give away his cover

Santa: Gives kids an incentive to be good, thus making them do their best

Hitchcock: Gives T.J. Oshie an incentive to be good, thus making him do his best

Santa: Symbolizes old-fashioned traditions during a part of a year that features, sadly, intra-familial fighting

Hitchcock: Loves Civil War history that also features, sadly, intra-familial fighting

Santa: Works with Elves

Hitchcock: Works with Scott Nichol, Vladimir Sobotka, and occasionally Darren Pang

Santa: From a far off mythical place where it snows all the time called "The North Pole"

Hitchcock: From a far off mythical place where it snows all the time called "Edmonton," which is actually Canadian for "The North Pole, or at least it feels like it, eh?"

Santa: Has a team of eight tiny reindeer pulling his sleigh with names like "Dasher" and "Prancer"

Hitchcock: Has a team of eight burly defensemen with names like "Sir Barrett Jackman, Esq." and "Shattenkirk"

Santa: Has a special reindeer named Rudolph

Hitchcock: Has a "special" pantsless blue rat named Louie

Santa: Gives out presents to kids

Hitchcock: Gives out wins to fans

Santa: Often a cause of post-Christmas depression when you don't get what you want for a present

Hitchcock: Could be a cause of post-All Star Game depression if his second line doesn't get motivated

Based on these comparisons, I can safely say we've got Santa Claus for a coach and his name is Ken Hitchcock.

Please make sure that any content you post is appropriate to Game Time, which means that it pertains to hockey, the Blues, frosty adult beverages, or puppies.

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