Matt Cooke, Douche Report

by Whatablue on Feb 9, 2011 10:20 AM CST

Matt Cooke, you are the contents of a dirty douche bag.

Courtney Love's douche would look like filtered spring water compared to you.

Someone needs to use an AHL tough guy to take him out. Tell the guy, "you will be suspended, we will pay your fines. You may not play again, we will keep you on the payroll, hell you weren't going to make it anyway".

I fucking hate Matt Cooke. Dirtier than Ricci, Probert, and Ott combined, though I hold a special place in the black of my heart for the hatred of those three, Cooke has made me find a deeper hate.

Pittsburg is a fucking joke for keeping that douche nozzel on the team. The fact the NHL has not stepped in on this guy is a disgrace. Put this guy on Edmonton and see if he ever plays a game in the NHL again after a hit like that.

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I still think Berpussy takes the cake for douche baggery. Even if is based on a single act....

Or perhaps ex Cap Simon (which sucks cause he was actually becoming a decently skilled player).
Or maybe even TooToo…
No doubt that Cooke is top 3 though… no doubt..

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

by DanGNR on Feb 9, 2011 10:33 AM CST reply actions

As much as I hate to admit it

Berpussy has actually made an effort to clean up his game. It has made him much more ineffective, which I like as well. Simon was a wookie, so I don’t give him too much shit. Tootoo is definitely a fucktard among men, but went the rehab route, so my jury is out on him. All I am saying is maybe now is the time to get Danton back for a game or two just to play the Burg.

by Whatablue on Feb 9, 2011 10:42 AM CST up reply actions

Agreed on all points.

but pussy’s single act ruined my opinion of him. plus he plays for that one fucking team.

Tootoo will play the same game he did before rehab when and if he returns.
Bet you a DrinkScotch beer on it. (although, as a human being, gotta admit that going to rehab is huge).

But of all NHLers, if I was on the ice with any of these “players,” Cooke would be the
one I would pay attention to.

PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean?

by DanGNR on Feb 9, 2011 11:08 AM CST up reply actions

Agreed

I honestly think its just a matter of time until someone runs him into the boards and hard. I hate the guy and after seeing what happened last night I want to run him. The guy is worthless.

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Feb 9, 2011 11:14 AM CST up reply actions

and were is theo fleury on the list

this is the great debate portion of the bafoonery. while the tyson nash’es and lesser extent, cam janssen’s and dj king’s are pretty much there to hurt the other team, theo hurt his own team 5-10 times. so. on the list of people on the “bag hall of fame” he gets my vote. and yes i know the backstory, but when did theo ask us to consider it? ooooh after he retired and needed to make some money. hmmmm

cool beans!!

part two of this is, as always,

q: if we had tony twist and no instigator rule in hockey this sec, where would matt cooke be?

a: new jersey

and new york

and pittsburgh

and we will wait for the other bits to land before finalising the list

And a harvest of righteousness is grown from the seed of peace planted by peacemakers.

by Childhood Trauma on Feb 9, 2011 1:30 PM CST up reply actions

Four-game suspension.

Y’know, I thought they were trying to get rid of blindside hits, shots to the head and the like. Not if you’re only gonna hand out four-game suspensions for that shit.

Colin Campbell, if you weren’t already officially worthless, you are now.

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
The Throwdown Lowdown Report, only on The Bluenote Zone.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Feb 9, 2011 1:21 PM CST reply actions