Rick DiPietro-Biggest Joke in the NHL?

by UABlade on Feb 9, 2011 10:14 PM CST

Is there a bigger joke in the NHL right now than Rick DiPietro? OK, fine, Bettman is weekly unintentional comedy, but outside of that douchenozzle, who else is there that can even hold a candle to the awesomeness that has been DiPietro this year? I submit that no, there is no one who can, and before you start arguing with me, let me remind you all of why.

First off, a little history for those of you not in the know. DiPietro has 10 years left on his contract. 10 FREAKING YEARS. Next, his salary cap hit is $4.5 million a season for those 10 years. Oh yeah, there are some brilliant minds over there on Long Island (see Yashin, Alexei). Since 2008, in 4 seasons (counting this one), DiPietro has played 34 NHL games. (Seriously, look for yourself.)

All that by itself is pretty funny, but not Bettman topping by any means. Then we get to this season. He gets injured. He gets outplayed by rookie Kevin Poulin (who is now also injured, it's like every time someone makes a comment around here about how the hockey gods hate us, they strike down a goalie in Long Island just to prove that they hate teams run by guys with dick jokes for last names more.) And then you have these two gems. Two single moments this season, that when combined with past events, threaten to rip the fabric of the space-time continuum in your abdomen upon viewing them.

Exhibit A:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Bge1zqHHhjU

I really wish he wasn't wearing the goalie mask. What you can see of his face is priceless.

Exhibit B:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yorslHoS0aw

The best part about this is, in case you were deafened by the super bowl halftime show and didn't hear, DiPietro is now out for basically the rest of the season. Even video game geeks are making fun of him, with catchy titles too.

So, is there anyone in the NHL who can unintentionally make you laugh more than this man? If there is, then please, PLEASE, sound off in the comments. I can always use more comedy.

EDIT: For some reason SB Nation won't let me embed the youtube videos so I put up the links instead

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Yeah, SBN doesn't permit embedded vids in FanPosts...

…but those videos are friggin’ priceless.

In the first one, that’s the best “what the fuck just happened?” look I’ve ever seen.

In the second, what a left hook by Beej.

I like the islanders, I have since their dynasty days, but they’ve got to do something about the ownership, and about getting a real goaltender. Especially after that “fight.” Billy Smith must still be busting a gut laughing at that shit…

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Feb 9, 2011 11:14 PM CST reply actions

On the way to a Blues game last week . . .

A buddy of mine and I were joking about a rumo(u)r that DiPietro might get a buyout after this season.

As he and I were laughing about it, I said it would be all well and good, but if the Isles did that, they’d still essentially be paying DiPi for TWENTY MORE YEARS!

But at this point, wouldn’t that be more-or-less cutting the losses? Obviously the guy is fragile as a plastic coat hanger.

And people wonder why Milbury will never get a GM gig again. It’s plainly obvious, isn’t it? DON’T SIGN GUYS TO BAJILLION YEAR CONTRACTS! Yikes.

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
The Throwdown Lowdown Report, only on The Bluenote Zone.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Feb 10, 2011 12:01 AM CST reply actions

In related news,

Al Montoya must be openly weeping that he’s been traded to the Isles.

by NaJaKwa on Feb 10, 2011 8:38 AM CST up reply actions

You kind of have to feel bad for him.

After seeing what’s happened to every other goaltender in Long Island he’s probably shaking in his boots.

by russkidan on Feb 10, 2011 2:20 PM CST up reply actions

Bringing Douchenozzel to the forefront

I just want to say that I think Dipietro is a fucking joke and this post is right on. Also thank you for furthering the douche nozzel cause.

by Whatablue on Feb 10, 2011 9:40 AM CST reply actions

Yeah

Its actually funny. I’m a student at UMSL and I have a professor who married DiPietro’s cousin. I CONSTANTLY give her crap about it. All I had to do was smile after that goalie fight and she knew. As much as I laugh at the Devils this season, and at the never ending stream of crap that is Bettman, DiPietro will always hold a special place in my heart for WHAT THE F*$% WERE YOU THINKING??

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Feb 10, 2011 11:09 AM CST up reply actions

I'm considering posting a link to think over at lighthouse

but I’m not sure if it’s a good idea. Any opinions yay or nay?

by UABlade on Feb 10, 2011 6:36 PM CST reply actions

link to this*

by UABlade on Feb 10, 2011 6:37 PM CST up reply actions

Negative

All it would really say to them is “Your player sucks, F U.” They already know the shape they are in as far as DP goes, dont need to rub it in.

He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Jay McClement for Selke in 2011. Justice will be served. Penalties will be killed.

by Icion on Feb 11, 2011 5:05 AM CST up reply actions

Yeah

If it was one of our rivals I’d be all for it, but man, those poor guys. Although as bad as they need goal tending it’d be interesting to see if we could trade Conks for Tavares. Maybe send another player or two that way for him if need be.

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Feb 11, 2011 10:27 AM CST up reply actions

The best goaltending in the world

Wouldn’t save them this season. As such, I don’t think anybody could pry Tavares from their cold, dead hands.

Note: The cold, dead part is just an allusion to the crummy season they’ve had. No offense Dom.

How old would you be if you didn't know how old you are? - Satchel Paige

by Dan. on Feb 11, 2011 5:24 PM CST up reply actions

No,

The biggest joke in the NHL is the Suck Louis Blues. Lol @ anyone on here talking about injuries.

by shawman35 on Feb 12, 2011 9:11 PM CST reply actions

Thanks for coming by!

Fucking troll.

St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
The Throwdown Lowdown Report, only on The Bluenote Zone.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Feb 13, 2011 8:47 PM CST up reply actions

might be a

slack fuck fan or detwat shit wing fan…its ok internet tough guy commenting tonight

Pujols takes out "I" in BIG and "A" in MAC, previously considered to be an unyielding, consonant threat

by DESTROYER on Feb 13, 2011 11:53 PM CST up reply actions

No, he's a Filthydelphia Flyers fan, or all things...

Dicknose commented in a FanPost where someone else was asking about what to see and do in The STL before and after a Blues’ game.

Apparently, Dicknose is butthurt because he and his girlfriend were hollered at impolitely when walking down to the train station after the Blues-Flyers game earlier this year, so he joined this site less than a week ago just to talk shit about the “Suck Louis Blues.”

Since Dicknose is a fan of the team that employed the worst collection of cement-head goons in the history of the sport in order to win two tainted Cups 35 years ago, and is currently run by the biggest lunkhead of a GM north of Dale Tallon, I’m gonna have to just laugh at his sophomoric insults.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Feb 14, 2011 6:34 PM CST up reply actions