Monday Links: Thanks A Lot, Dallas Edition

A short-handed Detroit team beat Chicago 4-3 in regulation yesterday, but it didn't mean shit, as Dallas couldn't beat the poop Wild. If only pucks couldn't get kicked into nets, the Chicago bandwagon would die down, making them less obnoxious and emptying half of the United Center. Aw, who am I kidding? They're 200% obnoxious all the time. Even when they sucked.

Blues News

• USA Today tells you what we already know: what happened? [USA Today]
• Chris Stewart took in some Weezy Saturday night. More people come to see the Blues than Li'l Wayne. Awesome. [Twitter]
• That's all the Blues news today, but I'd like to point out a review of our fine website by The Hockey Writers that was published yesterday. Your main man who dishes prospect news when he can gave an interview for them. "Writers use words just because the can." Fuckin' doy. Heart you, Rebecca. [The Hockey Writers]

NHL/Hockey News

• Here is your 2011 NHL Playoff Tree and schedule. Who are you rooting for? [NHL.com]
• Colorado sent their captain Adam Foote off in style (and they actually won, too). [NHL Video]
• As mentioned in the headline, Dallas done fucked up rrl rrl bad. A fan behind their bench dogpiled on Marc Crawford's misery. [Puck Daddy]
• Defending Big D recaps the game and thanks its readers. [DBD Recap] [Thank You]
• It was once said in recent seasons and the beginning of this season that the Central Division was the toughest division in hockey. With 4 of their 5 teams competing in the post-season, the Pacific Division takes that title. Can you believe this is the first time that all California teams have made the playoffs in the same year? ESPN previews the Kings/Sharks series. [ESPN]
• The Sharks suck so bad at the playoffs that there's an easy how-to guide to follow if you want to be successful. [ESPN]
• How much gas will Chicago have in the tank after pushing for the playoffs up until the final minute of the season? I hope those dicks get swept. [Bloomberg]
• An Eastern Conference playoff preview. Like it matters, right? Western Conference finda steamroll dat ass in the end. [CBS]
• NHL Draft Lottery: tomorrow. Mark your calendars and your balls. [Fox]
• Toronto made an '09 Blues-esque push for the playoffs. Now, their biggest concern is who to re-up. [Bleacher Report]
• The Devils won in Jacques Lemaire's last game coaching. He says he won't be back, but... we know what's up. [Forbes]
• The Sabres are in company with the Blues in that they have not yet won a Stanley Cup. He's why they might win it this year. [Fox]
• Canes Country looks back at its team's collapse in a game where it controlled its playoff destiny. [Canes Country]

Other Stuff

• Dick around with Google Maps, dick. [Nerdmodo]
• Here's college flowchart to help you determine whether or not you should skip your class or show up to sleep through it. For me, I only had one question: is it a lecture hall? If the answer is yes, fuck it. [Graph Jam]
• The chocolate bar camera is the perfect all-in-one device for girls. Not only does it allow them to take cam-whore photos of themselves in their bathroom mirror as they prepare to "go out, y'all," but it also allows them to eat the sadness away when Chet, the quarterback, refuses to talk to them. [Chip Chick]

Monday Video

Since it's time for the playoffs, it's time to get jacked. All of us.

Today was my first day as a non-employee of the Blues, as I'm going Hollywood after Easter. If you're interested next season in becoming a shovel enthusiast, check the "Employment" section of the Blues website around August. It's a fun, part-time job with cool people. Perfect for college students, yo.

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