Top 11 Things I'm Doing To Pass The Time This Blues Offseason*

by Donut King on Jul 13, 2011 1:00 PM CDT

11) About once a week, I prank-call Dave Checketts and tell him I have a bucket full of million dollar bills at the front gate of the DrinkScotch before giggling and hanging up.

10) I drink . . . heavily. No, more heavily than during hockey games, if you could imagine that possible.

9) I imagine the Cheveldae-Joseph goalie fight had happened yesterday. Goddamnit, that was 18 years ago. WHERE IS MY YOUTH?!

8) I actually do work at work. Yeah, you laugh now . . . .

7) I make up a bunch of stupid lists like this. Yeah. Fucking. Right.

6) I count down the days to October 8^th, when . . . I head to a wedding in Iowa. Haha, fuck you, schedule-makers. Assholes, all of you.

5) I count down the days until David Backes is officially named Captain of the Blues. Because if that doesn't happen, I will probably lead a mob starting at Market Street so as to loot the town Vancouver-style.

4) I FUCKED DETROIT! Haha, just kidding. I don't want any nasty-ass diseases.

3) I repeatedly point out how everything is right and awesome with the world now that the Chicago Blackhawks are no longer the defending Stanley Cup Champions.

2) I constantly wish I were in the shoes of Shahid Khan or Mark Cuban so I could make an immediate "Impulse Buy" in St. Louis involving some hockey franchise that's for sale. After that, I imagine I'm ripping Jim Balsillie's guts out with my bare hands . . . for no reason, really.

1) I watch baseball. No really, that's happening. Is it October yet?

* Most of these items did not happen or have not actually happened.

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Baseball!

Although right now, as a Cards fan, for me, baseball can be summed up as “Fuck the Colby Rasmus” haters. God Cards fans are dumb… Wonder if there is a Blues equivalent to Rasmus?

Anyway yeah, I laughed, I cried, I rec’d.

"And a boring game for boring people. Did you ever watch golf on television? It's like watching flies FUCK. Think of the intellect it must take to draw pleasure from this activity: hitting a ball with a crooked stick and then WALKING AFTER IT" -George Carlin
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by stlcardsfan4 on Jul 13, 2011 1:21 PM CDT reply actions

Oshie, at least hair wise.

There for a while this season, Cheese and Oshie were neck and neck for most irritating hair in STL.

Thrashing the Blues - No, I'm not re-naming it.
SB Nation St. Louis
St. Louis Game Time - We turn the F bomb into an art form.

Reporter: There`s a "stamp out the Beatles movement" underway in Detroit. What are you going to do about it?

Paul McCartney: We`re going to start a campaign to stamp out Detroit.

by hildymac on Jul 13, 2011 3:38 PM CDT up reply actions

brewer

before the trade

going through the handshake line at my game the other night, guy says youre still a prick Evan...me: yep sure am next time stop me from scoring

by DESTROYER on Jul 13, 2011 4:13 PM CDT up reply actions

Hmm...I can think of the anti-rasmus...

…meaning someone the opposite of CR. Somebody who doesn’t have any marketable talent, has hustle and can’t finish…yet the fans love him.

I submit to you — Jamal Mayers.

I once shot a man just to see him die...then I got distracted and missed it.

by TheDuke32 on Jul 13, 2011 5:15 PM CDT via mobile up reply actions

Jackman?

I’m assuming he’s poised to be the new whipping boy now that Brewer’s gone

Barret Jackman is my hero.

Fueled. These new shores burn. Shadow, my sweet shadow, to you I look no more.

by BluesTiger on Jul 13, 2011 6:01 PM CDT up reply actions

Oh yeah, something I forgot to mention during the twitterfest from the Jr. Blues training camp:

It looks like one of the ideas floated for fans’ approval was to rent a bus or two and ride to Chesterfield for the games against the St. Louis Bandits. The buses would likely leave from Springfield, so it may not be great for those living south of the city. I’ll pass on the details as I get them.

Let's Go Blues!
Support your local NAHL team. Seriously.

by Paperwork Ninja on Jul 13, 2011 2:51 PM CDT reply actions

Maybe arrangements could be made to stop in Litchfield or Edwardsville, or someplace like that...

…and pick up any Jr. Blues’ fans who wish to participate and don’t want to drive all the way up to Springfield to partake in the hockey fun and fellowship?

It’d be a nice way for the Jr. Blues to reach out to the fans in the Macoupin-Montgomery County hockey limbo, and to build interest in that area, non?

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Jul 13, 2011 6:10 PM CDT up reply actions

I'll send that idea in to the Jr. Blues staff. Maybe they'll be interested.

I don’t know how many tickets they’d need at minimum, though.

Let's Go Blues!
Support your local NAHL team. Seriously.

by Paperwork Ninja on Jul 14, 2011 8:52 AM CDT up reply actions

I like #3.

just sayin’.

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by sarahconnors on Jul 13, 2011 4:50 PM CDT reply actions

Oh, I wonder why . . . :-P

Fight Club writer for the print edition of St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
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by Donut King on Jul 14, 2011 12:30 PM CDT up reply actions

Also, I wouldn't claim to have fucked Detroit.

Detroit has lawyers everywhere just waiting to find the man they can claim is Detroit’s Babydaddy.

Let's Go Blues!
Support your local NAHL team. Seriously.

by Paperwork Ninja on Jul 13, 2011 5:11 PM CDT reply actions

I like this.

Baseball has become such a drag as of late. I too eagerly await October 8th…

by JGB on Jul 13, 2011 5:43 PM CDT via mobile reply actions

It's been too long

Good chit T. In my idle time I’m:

11 – Winning Hawks memorabilia auctions on FeeBay and burning them in effigy.

10 – Trying to negotiate the sale of my soul to the devil in return for DP57 making opening night.

9 – Visiting the little Mexcan lady down the street who does Santeria and putting hexs on Detwat and Chicago

8 – Trying to imagine what’s it must be like to be Teej and getting all that poozle

7 – Mailing eye exam charts to NHL refs

6 – Plotting how to get my SLGT and “Fuck the Blackhawks” sign on Blues TV this year

5 – ~~Drunk dialing~~ Scrawling all over my Chicago pals Facebook pages with Blues shit

4 – Petitioning the Pope to beautify Frenchie

3 – Watching goalie fights on Youtube to learn new sexual positions

2 – Taking looting lessons just in case we win big this year

1 – Digging up cacti in the desert to swing for all them “Intent to Blow” calls coming

Just a chew toy for the hockey gods

by spectr17 on Jul 13, 2011 7:50 PM CDT reply actions 1 recs

Number Nine is my personal favorite...

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Jul 13, 2011 7:58 PM CDT up reply actions

Awesome list, Spect

I gotta go out drinking with you sometime, sir. It would be educational, to say the least. Any plans on visiting the ’Lou??

Junior Assistant Blogger-In-Training at www.StLouisGameTime.com

by CrossCheckRaise on Jul 13, 2011 8:38 PM CDT up reply actions

I think he mentioned

October somewhere

Hockey players wear numbers because you can't always identify the body with dental records.

It is the sweet, simple things of life which are the real ones after all. Laura Ingalls Wilder

by luvhockey on Jul 14, 2011 9:20 AM CDT up reply actions

Top 11 Things for Blues' Prospect Fans to look forward to in 2011-12 TBA...

…working on it now.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Jul 13, 2011 7:58 PM CDT reply actions

I can't believe you haven't spent your time working on a new...

Jonathan Cheechoo Song, but this time it’s for the Peoria Rivermen, not the Sharks or the Senators. Hildy owes me a new monitor for my computer, btw. Iced tea and monitors don’t mix.

Let's Go Blues!
Support your local NAHL team. Seriously.

by Paperwork Ninja on Jul 14, 2011 8:51 AM CDT reply actions