Oh, Friday, how I want to F-You.

by gallagher on Sep 16, 2011 2:33 PM CDT

Thank god it's Friday? Yeah, not so much for me. You think you're so high and mighty, Friday, self-described King of All Weekdays. Well guess what, I hate Friday. Now Saturday, that's a good day. Sunday, too, really. I'd definitely put Sunday ahead of Friday on the Days of the Week Leaderboard. Hell, I even have Thursday ahead of Friday.

But you, Friday? F-You Friday.

Fuck you, people who can't control their children on airplanes. On a flight this summer, some woman let her kid scream like its arm was being torn off for over 15 minutes. Look, I'm not parent of the year, but even I know that the kid's goddamn ears are popping. Give it something to drink or to chew on, it works it's evil little jaw, the ears pop and it shuts the fuck up. Simultaneously, the woman in front of me let her kid listen to his ipod and sing Justin Bieber songs out loud so we all had to hear it. Rather than do something about it, she turned to look back at all of us with her hands up, laughing, like she was powerless to stop it. Hey lady, it's not cute and it's not funny. Your kid is a dick and that makes you a dickmom. If you want to hear the audio, you can, beacuse I recorded it just to prove how bad it was. Remember, though, I warned you: kid crying bieber singing.
Fuck you, Broken Lizard. It's not my fault that your best movie was your first movie. Super Troopers remains the funniest movie I've ever watched (who wouldn't love watching terrible cops?). In fact, it was so good that I watched all your other, less funny, movies too, just to support the cause. Beerfest has it's moments, but that Club Dread? Blech. Nevertheless, I will continue to support you and your movies. Unless, that is, you go forward with this Super Troopers 2 movie and it turns out the way we all think it's going to turn out. If it sucks, Blues Brothers 2000 style, we're going to have a problem. Save us both the anguish and just don't do it. I beg of you.
Fuck you, Central Division. Hockey is back and so are you turds. I can finally go back to hating the Blue Jackets because they are going to continue to suck dicks by the truckload. I can go back to hating the Predators because they continue to be the most boring team in all of professional sports (and that counts watch the grass grow baseball, too). I can go back to hating the Chicago Blackhawks just because that's what we fucking do around here. And finally, I can go back to hating the Detroit Red Wings and their entitled, annoying-ass fans. Welcome back, hockey; go fuck yourselves, Central Division.

Feel better? I do. Do your worst/best in the comments.

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Comments

thank god its f** day….I needed this laugh! Thanks G-dog

by Outrfaz on Sep 16, 2011 3:06 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you Maternity Store, Cupcake Bakery, Busch Stadium, and SLU Athletic Department

Because yesterday I got a REAL FUCKING JOB and I will never have to put up with emotional and entitled (like Wings fans) pregnant bitches, annoying brides-to-be who think cupcakes are STILL a creative and unique idea for weddings, drunk frat guys (love/hate them), and student athletes who have never had to read a book in their lives AGAIN. FUCK ALL OF THEM.

And fuck you, Brad Winchester for never answering my fan letter asking you to be my date to a wedding. You missed out dude. And now you’re jobless. Like I was until yesterday. Have fun with those pregnant bitches.

Does Brad Winchester even still play for this team anymore? I haven't heard his name since the trade deadline.

by heycarrieann8 on Sep 16, 2011 3:41 PM CDT reply actions

Congrats, Carrie...

What’s your new line of work?

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Sep 16, 2011 4:59 PM CDT up reply actions

THANKS, B!!!!

Same job I had at the museum, just a permanent version of it!!!!

Brad Winchester rejected me once. Then the Blues rejected him. Karma is a bitchwhore.

by heycarrieann8 on Sep 16, 2011 5:46 PM CDT up reply actions

Good deal... still in Indianapolis?

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Sep 16, 2011 6:01 PM CDT up reply actions

Yep!

Brad Winchester rejected me once. Then the Blues rejected him. Karma is a bitchwhore.

by heycarrieann8 on Sep 16, 2011 6:02 PM CDT up reply actions

Fuck you, offseason. You're almost over.

Fuck you, Blues marketing department, if you even exist, for failing.

Fuck you, dumbass who bought four Foo Fighters tickets when only two of them are spoken for. Oh wait, that was me.

And finally, FUCK YOU, DETROIT, CHICAGO, NASHVILLE AND COLUMBUS! PREPARE. TO. DIE.

Fight Club writer for the print edition of St. Louis Game Time . . . I need another beer.
The Throwdown Lowdown Report, only on The Bluenote Zone.
And I can also write things in 140 characters or fewer.

by Donut King on Sep 16, 2011 3:53 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you Windows 7

After all the nice things I said about you. How are you gonna work all summer when I don’t need you and 3 weeks into the school year you crap out and it doesn’t even look like a fixable problem without all new hardware. FUCK YOU.

Fuck you Astronomy. You’re a 1000 level course. I don’t care about the subject. You’re a science requirement for non-science majors. How are you gonna require this much out of class work? I have numbers to attend to, I don’t have time for this star crap.

Fuck you Sprint for not giving me a legitimate answer for any of my questions that I called about this week. I’ve been very happy with you up until this point, but you keep sending me in circles of tech support that aren’t telling me anything new.

Fuck you EA Sports for not fixing this online play freezing issue in NHL12 before release. Did you even try playing the game online before it shipped?

by thesystm on Sep 16, 2011 4:18 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you website

for refreshing right when I was done typing out my fuck you comment making me retype it. But you know what? I’m not going to type it. Fuck you.

Also, Broken Lizard did The Slammin Salmon and I laughed my ass off through that one. Michael Clarke Duncan makes it awesome.

I am The One Who Shall Remain Avatar-less.

by Classic17 on Sep 16, 2011 5:10 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you stuff in general

Fuck you new apartment, your so fun but I dont have a computer there so I have to get my blues information in once a week doses.

Fuck you Andy, im fucking trying to make you a real person by bringing you out and making you social. Quit fucking staring at the computer and come party, there will be booze and easy bitches and awesomeness and booze and partying and cool people you will meet while trying to avoid all that. HELP ME HELP YOU FUCKER.

Fuck you weird work schedule, I love you and hate you so much it pisses me off. Working 12 hour swing shifts and having half the days off? Thats cool. Never sleeping more than 4 hours without waking up and almost randomly passing out at specific points in the day(4 8 and 10 am and pm) because I get so tired then am completely awake 30 minutes later? Fucking ruined me.

Fuck you ownership issues. I cant even enjoy the fucking start of hockey season without thinking no matter how well we do something is gonna cause an ownership issue that will fuck everything up irrevocably. Checkets seems like a good dude who honestly wanted the blues to do well, he just couldnt get the job done. Thats sums up every player we loved ever.

Fuck you guys at work. You are all the biggest dicks in existence and i love you for it. I was getting soft and becoming a real person again. Thanks for reminding me that nothing brings you closer with someone more than telling them how much you hate their guts. I love you guys, imma fucking shank all of you.

Fuck you gametime guys. Your a good bunch and I hope I can get in here for some more GDTs than I did last year, I feel let down for being awol for most of last season. Fuck you all for being such a fun group.

Fuck the police. I was doing 8 miles over the limit and you tag me with a ticket that says I was doing 13 and you drop me for 120$. Fuck you illinois police, I hope your state explodes. Dicks.

He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Aren't you that guy who hates the blues?

by Icion on Sep 16, 2011 5:11 PM CDT reply actions

Icion

Plead court supervision when you pay the ticket…….then 90 days after the ticket if your record stays clean the ticket goes bye bye…..

I still maintain Vladimir Konstantinov got what he deserved...If you can't handle that then kiss my ass......

"I've got a bad feeling about this..."

by dablues7 on Sep 16, 2011 9:05 PM CDT up reply actions

Nah man

I mailed it in. The court they assigned it to was Cairo. FUCK THAT. No way no how am I going down there, ill take the hit.

He raged at the world, at his family, at his life. But mostly he just raged.
Aren't you that guy who hates the blues?

by Icion on Sep 17, 2011 2:29 PM CDT up reply actions

Fuck living in Arizona.

It’s miserably, pathetically, worse-than-living-in-Hell hot out here. Not having any humidity does not help, either, so spare me the “but its a dry heat” nonsense. It’s a dry heat inside of an oven, too, and that’s what living here feels like.

There are no more jobs here than there are in economically-depressed St. Louis; I’ve been looking for a job since January with no fucking success. They won’t even hire me for a shitty $8/hour job stacking boxes on a pallet in a warehouse, because why should they hire a 50-year-old to do that when there are thousands of 20-somethings who will do it.

The women here are all either a million years old, or supermodel-quality stuck-up Scottsdale bitches that won’t give an average schmuck like me the time of day… and I’ve got jack shit to offer to anyone right now, anyway.

My brothers have all become rednecks, with whom I fight constantly. At least the Diamondbacks are entertaining, because the Cardinals look shaky, the Suns play a “sport” that I loathe, and no one gives a drizzling shit about the Coyotes.

I miss St. Louis. I miss Historic Macoupin County. I miss Cardinals baseball on my radio at home, I miss being able to attend the Blues’ training camp and pre-season games, I miss BBQ pork steaks, I miss the Dairy Queen in Gillespie and Staunton, I miss being able to go for a walk and actually see people I know, I miss being able to go to Bon Air and drink with my cousin.

I miss HOME.

And I miss someone that I cared very much about, who won’t even talk to me any more, and I have no idea why. But as I said, I don’t have jack shit to offer her right now anyway, so it’s probably for the best.

Fuck my “life.” it ain’t a life right now; it’s barely an existence, and not a particularly pleasant one at that.

"If we do not prepare for ourselves the role of the hammer, there will be nothing left but that of the anvil."

-- Otto von Bismarck, 1851

http://futurenotes.blogspot.com

by Tomorrows Blues on Sep 16, 2011 5:17 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you, George Lucas!

For Jedi mind tricking me into buying the Star Wars Blu-Rays by selling them at Best Buy for $80 (plus free t-shirt) and by offering over 40 hours of bonus features! That’s $10 cheaper than the Lord of the Rings Blu-Rays I almost bought last month for damn near 3 times the material! Fuck you and you’re brilliant use of captialism!

Fuck how I haven’t been able to be a regular here on SLGT all summer! Either I’ve been too busy or I’ve had shitty connection. I’m pretty set now, and ready for the season to start – ’bout damn time!

I know it's time for hockey because I've started singing "Don't Stop Believing" with the words "...born and raised in FUCK DETRIOT!!!"

by J-Mill on Sep 16, 2011 6:54 PM CDT reply actions

Fuck you also, George Lucas...

… for only selling the BD movies as a complete set. Some of us are pretty proud of the fact that our movie collections are 100% Jar-Jar-free.

Oh, and fuck you, LucasArts, for not having made an X-Wing or Tie Fighter computer game for like a billion parsecs. (Hey, if you fuckers can use units of distance to represent time, so can I.) Seriously, when you released X-Wing Alliance, the fastest CPU in the universe was a 500MHz Pentium III. Bill Fucking Clinton was still president. Lazy bastards.

by BleedBlue42 on Sep 16, 2011 7:24 PM CDT up reply actions