It's very much a shame that most of us are too old (read: it would just be creepy) to go Trick-or-Treating. Fans with kids, though, this might just work out. Tired of bigger kids shoving your kid out of the way of the candy bowl? Don't like it when your son or daughter comes home with a pumpkin bucket filled with Smarties and a roll of pennies? Well, do I have the costume for you! This foolproof idea will ensure that your child will always get the decent candy bars.

Full sized bars for the fun-sized commissioner! Seriously, though, the logic of "I'M GARY BETTMAN AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT" is pretty irrefutable. It's shades of the Absolute Monarchs of Europe. "Hey, Louis? Why'd you blow half of France's budget on a palace?" "I'M LOUIS XIV AND I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT." See? Same thing!

Except, I guess, Gary doesn't wear heels. Anywho, can't argue with the logic of megalomaniacs.