Dear Mainstream Media,
I like your microphones. I like your cool graphics. I like your wacky movable arrows that show everyone how one dude sucked a bag so badly that the Blues could score an easy goal. I love your three stars of the night. I love your plays of the week and your too-early award winner candidate stories. Because I love seeing how great Patrick Kane's goal was last night and how good Tim Thomas is. How gritty Steve Ott is and how mobile and smooth Niklas Lidstrom is. Because those guys are the awesomest.
But more than anything, I love that you're not talking about our team. At all.
The Blues, as you obviously know, are not worth talking about. No one on the team is a superstar. We don't have anyone who makes $8-plus million a year. We don't have anyone on the team who sells a ton of jerseys out of the nhl.com store.
Seriously, this team is not worth talking about.
They don't score enough. They don't pile up points on anyone. They aren't sexy like Chicago or New York or Los Angeles. They aren't as interesting as Pittsburgh or Toronto or Montreal.
The Blues, as you all know, didn't make any trades to help out with your grindingly mindnumbing trade deadline day coverage. They are not worth talking about. The Blues have no interest in acquiring Rick Nash. They are not worth talking about.
And you, niche media, you stay on the same plan as the mainstream media. We have no one of interest. We covet no one of interest. The Blues don't have enough fans to generate clicks to your website or to follow you on Twitter. Hockeysnooze.com can't generate hits by talking about players the Blues will acquire or move out.
Everyone just keep doing what you're doing: keep our name out your mouth. Not only do we not care if anyone talks about our team, we emphatically do not want you to talk about us. Seriously, we don't need one of our guys to have to call Peggy. We don't need our guy staring into a a camera at close range on the NHL Network. We don't want Gary Bettman in our building weasley grinning at the camera.
The Blues are boring. The Blues are pretenders. The Blues aren't worth worrying about or talking about. Please, just keep leaving us all alone.
The St. Louis Blues and all of their fans.