This is how Jerry Water is created.
This was published last week, but due to yours truly being a complete moron, it was left off the front page. Whoops. Herp, meet Derp.
And now, your re-posting.
You may find the internet deliciousness after the jump.
11) We're a drinking outfit with a publishing/blogging problem, and you don't like drinking, publishing or blogging because your name is Rick Reilly or some dumb shit like that.
10) We swear a lot. Well no shit, you dumb asshole. Who did you think we Goddamn were, fuckstick?! PREACHERS?!
9) You can't understand why Brad Lee writes for us, given that he hates the Blues so fucking much.
8) You root for the Blackhawks, Red Wings, Predators, Blue Jackets, Canucks, Sharks, Stars, Avalanche(s), Wild(s),Flames, Oilers, Coyotes, Kings, Ducks, Jets, Capitals, Lightning(s), Panthers, Hurricanes, Maple Leafs, Bruins,Canadiens, Senators, Sabres, Rangers, Islanders, Devils, Flyers or Penguins. In which case, you're all assholes.
7) Sean Gallagher out-drank you one night, and you're still pissed about it.
6) You can't stand that pasty white bastard that writes the fight reports in the print edition, because he's kind of a punk and always wears his hat backward like a fucking douchebag.
5) You're outraged that the staff didn't show so much outrage at the lack of movement by the Blues' front office at the trade deadline, then didn't show much panic at the team's finish.
4) You don't find the whole "Fuck Detroit" thing to be funny.
3) You know nothing of our "Jaro Water", our "Jerry Water" or our "Moose Juice".
2) You think the Blues are boring and the fans who enjoy their winning ways must be the same. "Only total cockhammers enjoy a good forecheck", you say.
1) You didn't think that caution at the bottom of page 1 of each print issue was a real warning, or worse, you didn't "just fucking get over it".